Yossi Mandel
@ymandel.bsky.social
Writer. Former rabbi. One typo, and I could've been a former rabbit. Here for the conversations.
It's an ancient Yiddish curse:
"May your television show live up to its name"
"May your television show live up to its name"
I need a button to tell Netflix that I absolutely do not want to fucking watch Nobody Wants This because I have zero interest in consuming media produced by goyim that hate Jewish women and they keep pushing it at me RELENTLESSLY and I get angry every time I see it pop up and I can’t stop it.
November 24, 2025 at 11:54 AM
It's an ancient Yiddish curse:
"May your television show live up to its name"
"May your television show live up to its name"
Chinese monitor watching the American baby on the bugged baby monitor:
"Look at that free baby. So free, the baby. That baby lives free. So much freedom how dare that baby be so free!"
"Look at that free baby. So free, the baby. That baby lives free. So much freedom how dare that baby be so free!"
I am not really an espionage expert, despite the book thing, but I feel tolerably confident that spying on American babies is not a major priority for Chinese intelligence. I mean, you know, willing to corrected, but...
HINSON: As a mom, I think about watching a baby monitor. That's a very intimate moment with your baby and to think the Chinese could be spying on your morning routine
BARTIROMO: Why are they spying on moms?
HINSON: They just want to know what Americans are up to to undermine our way of life
BARTIROMO: Why are they spying on moms?
HINSON: They just want to know what Americans are up to to undermine our way of life
November 23, 2025 at 6:08 PM
Chinese monitor watching the American baby on the bugged baby monitor:
"Look at that free baby. So free, the baby. That baby lives free. So much freedom how dare that baby be so free!"
"Look at that free baby. So free, the baby. That baby lives free. So much freedom how dare that baby be so free!"
now THAT'S a jewish nose
November 21, 2025 at 1:20 PM
now THAT'S a jewish nose
It takes Gail's brilliance to uncover that Yentes save the planet
Yentl?
I don't remember the name, but I do recall I saw it in a double feature with that one movie where the scientist had been warning everyone about an oncoming disaster forever and everyone thinks they're crazy and then shockingly, that exact disaster happens and the scientist has to save the planet.
November 19, 2025 at 12:40 PM
It takes Gail's brilliance to uncover that Yentes save the planet
Cause there can only be one p
November 18, 2025 at 4:54 PM
Cause there can only be one p
Reposted by Yossi Mandel
To my investors I promise: Every quarter we will hit new heights
Or at least the same heights again and again
Or at least the same heights again and again
Launching my new tech startup Sisyphus next week, y’all aren’t ready for the rollout
all the Prometheus, Icarus, Palantir, Erebor, etc. shows that none of these guys - none, and it is almost all guys - have actually done the reading
November 18, 2025 at 10:24 AM
To my investors I promise: Every quarter we will hit new heights
Or at least the same heights again and again
Or at least the same heights again and again
Also? @racheleklein.bsky.social ? A bookstore for Jewish women called The Reading Vibe
the three-cue method shall henceforth be known as “vibe reading”
is someone completely and utterly misreading what you’ve written? they might be vibe reading
is someone completely and utterly misreading what you’ve written? they might be vibe reading
ever since I learned about three-cueing I've developed infinitely more patience for replies on social media. mfers literally do not know how to read. people are walking around conjuring random meanings into words they don't know, and they don't know a lot of words. it's crazy
November 12, 2025 at 11:28 AM
Also? @racheleklein.bsky.social ? A bookstore for Jewish women called The Reading Vibe
PEDRO EL GUAPO
Loving today's news that the mysterious "fedora man" outside the Louvre heist was actually a 15-year-old museum visitor who dresses like a 1940s French detective all the time, just because. apnews.com/article/louv...
Fedora man unmasked: Meet the teen behind the Louvre mystery photo
Fifteen-year-old Pedro Elias Garzon Delvaux has become an internet sensation after an Associated Press photo captured him outside the Louvre on the day of a crown jewels heist.
apnews.com
November 10, 2025 at 12:32 PM
PEDRO EL GUAPO
Reposted by Yossi Mandel
am reminded of the old joke: what did James Watson discover?
Rosalind Franklin’s notes.
Rosalind Franklin’s notes.
November 7, 2025 at 9:15 PM
am reminded of the old joke: what did James Watson discover?
Rosalind Franklin’s notes.
Rosalind Franklin’s notes.
Reposted by Yossi Mandel
Hillel: put your right foot in
Gentile: done
Hillel: now take it out
Gentile: ...ok
Hillel: put your other foot in, shake it all about
Gentile: wait what?
Hillel: what is hateful to you do not do to another
Hillel: that's what it's all about
Gentile: done
Hillel: now take it out
Gentile: ...ok
Hillel: put your other foot in, shake it all about
Gentile: wait what?
Hillel: what is hateful to you do not do to another
Hillel: that's what it's all about
November 7, 2025 at 3:38 PM
Hillel: put your right foot in
Gentile: done
Hillel: now take it out
Gentile: ...ok
Hillel: put your other foot in, shake it all about
Gentile: wait what?
Hillel: what is hateful to you do not do to another
Hillel: that's what it's all about
Gentile: done
Hillel: now take it out
Gentile: ...ok
Hillel: put your other foot in, shake it all about
Gentile: wait what?
Hillel: what is hateful to you do not do to another
Hillel: that's what it's all about
It's lunched, Dovid'l. A lunched pastrami can knock anyone unconscious.
It's not funny. A launched pastrami from Katz's can knock a man unconscious. I've seen it happen.
November 5, 2025 at 11:27 PM
It's lunched, Dovid'l. A lunched pastrami can knock anyone unconscious.
I lighted this post on fire, John Scalzi
The more I see people using "casted" instead of "cast" the more I realize that I am a grumpy old fart who only wants to see the language evolve in my preferred directions, nevertheless I will happily judge you for it if I catch you doing it, look, my dude, the accepted past tense is shorter okay
November 5, 2025 at 5:27 PM
I lighted this post on fire, John Scalzi
@gamzehyaavor.bsky.social see? they were right, questions are treyf
Valentine: my town is called ravenkirk
Valentine: named for the gothest bird AND the gothest star trek captain
Diane Duane: wait i have questions
Valentine: there will be no questions
Valentine: named for the gothest bird AND the gothest star trek captain
Diane Duane: wait i have questions
Valentine: there will be no questions
November 3, 2025 at 1:46 PM
@gamzehyaavor.bsky.social see? they were right, questions are treyf
Reposted by Yossi Mandel
I just spelled "kafkaesque" as "latkaesque" and now I want latkes
October 28, 2025 at 7:40 PM
I just spelled "kafkaesque" as "latkaesque" and now I want latkes
NoNoWriNoMo
SlammoRammo
NaNoLoonMo
October 28, 2025 at 12:03 PM
NoNoWriNoMo
Put is this (Jewish) way - they proved they really believed in acting that way and they really believed in speaking that way.
I’ve written about a lot of horrible historical figures in American politics and I always get earnest questions asking “but did they really believe that?”
I get the curiosity but I tend to remind people what they do in public is vastly more important than what they tell themselves in private
I get the curiosity but I tend to remind people what they do in public is vastly more important than what they tell themselves in private
I have no idea what Graham Platner's religious views are, but the way our culture is obsessed with trying to divine a person's "real" interior views, by definition radically private and unknowable, above and beyond external actions in the world, is a sign of how culturally Protestant we all are.
October 27, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Put is this (Jewish) way - they proved they really believed in acting that way and they really believed in speaking that way.
Reposted by Yossi Mandel
I won't wade into the marsh in which this conversation is currently going on, but I'm happy to note that the first thing a twenty-first-century publishing entity does on receipt of a manuscript and to prepare it for eventual publication is to yank out every single double space after a period.
🤷🏻♂️
🤷🏻♂️
October 26, 2025 at 4:09 PM
I won't wade into the marsh in which this conversation is currently going on, but I'm happy to note that the first thing a twenty-first-century publishing entity does on receipt of a manuscript and to prepare it for eventual publication is to yank out every single double space after a period.
🤷🏻♂️
🤷🏻♂️
del Toro literally quoting the Talmud
Guillermo del Toro on wealth: "a wealthy man is a man who has enough, not a man that needs more. If you have enough to invite someone for a beer? You're rich. If you have a yacht, planes, islands, and you still need more? You're not rich."
October 27, 2025 at 10:44 AM
del Toro literally quoting the Talmud
Reposted by Yossi Mandel
Bitter Karella: ha ha, what if, right? You're welcome for blowing your mind.
Karella: but wait! did you know that I, Bitter Karella, will be in conversation with Charlie Jane Anders at A Seat at the Table Books in Elk Grove on Saturday, October 25?
Karella: but wait! did you know that I, Bitter Karella, will be in conversation with Charlie Jane Anders at A Seat at the Table Books in Elk Grove on Saturday, October 25?
October 23, 2025 at 3:59 PM
Bitter Karella: ha ha, what if, right? You're welcome for blowing your mind.
Karella: but wait! did you know that I, Bitter Karella, will be in conversation with Charlie Jane Anders at A Seat at the Table Books in Elk Grove on Saturday, October 25?
Karella: but wait! did you know that I, Bitter Karella, will be in conversation with Charlie Jane Anders at A Seat at the Table Books in Elk Grove on Saturday, October 25?
To be fair to the preschooler: Accurate!
TRUE STORY: one time we went to a neighbor's seder and they asked their preschooler what Pesach was about and she said, dead serious, "Moses gave Pharoah a frog," and eight years later I am still entertained by this.
October 24, 2025 at 11:40 AM
To be fair to the preschooler: Accurate!
ALDUS PAGEMAKER!!!
forever in our hearts
forever in our hearts
The very first piece of Abode software I ever used, 35+ years ago now, was PageMaker, which was the software we used to layout the Chicago Maroon, the college newspaper I wrote and edited for. Of course, because I'm old, it was from Aldus then. But I also used it after Adobe acquired Aldus.
Did you ever work in Framemaker? It was a very nice, if slightly excessive piece of word processing+ software from earlier Adobe years that I swore by - up to a point.
October 23, 2025 at 12:06 PM
ALDUS PAGEMAKER!!!
forever in our hearts
forever in our hearts
Miriam doing Hashem's work...
Shalom friends!
Inspired by the 7 minute heist of the #Louvre, here is the team of archetypical caper characters I would assemble for the Vatican basement 🕎 rescue.
Except, they’re all from the #talmud! Welcome to The Great Menorah Heist! It’s going down! (Or up?)
youtube.com/shorts/qFyRo...
Inspired by the 7 minute heist of the #Louvre, here is the team of archetypical caper characters I would assemble for the Vatican basement 🕎 rescue.
Except, they’re all from the #talmud! Welcome to The Great Menorah Heist! It’s going down! (Or up?)
youtube.com/shorts/qFyRo...
The Great Menorah Heist 🕎
YouTube video by Miriam Anzovin
youtube.com
October 22, 2025 at 11:04 AM
Miriam doing Hashem's work...
...or millions of malignant narcissists.
Uncanny.
I will never for a moment wonder again how it could have happened. I see exactly how it happened. You just need one malignant narcissist and then a whole lot of ordinary, stupid people to give themselves over to either raw hate or determined indifference. It rides again.
I will never for a moment wonder again how it could have happened. I see exactly how it happened. You just need one malignant narcissist and then a whole lot of ordinary, stupid people to give themselves over to either raw hate or determined indifference. It rides again.
It is, as they say, fire.
October 22, 2025 at 10:55 AM
...or millions of malignant narcissists.
Finally blocked Ani* D*sh. Not even sure why it took me so long. No techbros of any sort are worth it.
October 19, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Finally blocked Ani* D*sh. Not even sure why it took me so long. No techbros of any sort are worth it.
I see protesting is the new patriotism.
It's also Talmudic.
It's also Talmudic.
October 19, 2025 at 11:31 AM
I see protesting is the new patriotism.
It's also Talmudic.
It's also Talmudic.