Sameer 🍉
@canubis.bsky.social
Twitter refugee. Grew up on a desert island.
Reposted by Sameer 🍉
“Enter Sandman” is certainly the most intense song ever written about taking a nap
December 1, 2025 at 7:57 AM
“Enter Sandman” is certainly the most intense song ever written about taking a nap
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Started watching MURDERBOT and now I don't wanna go to work, I just want to watch MURDERBOT, which is pretty much the plot of MURDERBOT.
November 12, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Started watching MURDERBOT and now I don't wanna go to work, I just want to watch MURDERBOT, which is pretty much the plot of MURDERBOT.
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“They come here and they open their bodegas, and their shawarmas, I tell you they’re not like us! Every day you grind to give ‘em a hero to look up to, and hey I’m just saying it! What’s a bagel, that’s no way to make a sandwich. American cheese, why, it’s right in the name!”
a man talking to another man with the words he was just trying to bait me
ALT: a man talking to another man with the words he was just trying to bait me
media.tenor.com
November 6, 2025 at 7:48 PM
“They come here and they open their bodegas, and their shawarmas, I tell you they’re not like us! Every day you grind to give ‘em a hero to look up to, and hey I’m just saying it! What’s a bagel, that’s no way to make a sandwich. American cheese, why, it’s right in the name!”
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When they go low, cook them.
Mamdani: "I wish Andrew Cuomo only the best in private life but let tonight be the final time I utter his name."
November 5, 2025 at 4:41 AM
When they go low, cook them.
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“One Battle After Another,” dir. Paul Thomas Anderson (2025)
ICE Nazis in Chicago tried to kidnap a food delivery worker but my man was too fast for those slow bastards
September 29, 2025 at 2:20 AM
“One Battle After Another,” dir. Paul Thomas Anderson (2025)
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Dutch late night TV has its take
September 19, 2025 at 2:39 PM
Dutch late night TV has its take
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We need you to infiltrate a notorious pedophile hangout. To make sure they don't suspect you, you will be a real-life pedophile. To do this, we are going to have you become best friends with the main pedophile for years, and then to ensure you don't get in trouble, you need to get elected president.
September 6, 2025 at 2:55 AM
We need you to infiltrate a notorious pedophile hangout. To make sure they don't suspect you, you will be a real-life pedophile. To do this, we are going to have you become best friends with the main pedophile for years, and then to ensure you don't get in trouble, you need to get elected president.
Reposted by Sameer 🍉
Nail on the fucking head.
August 28, 2025 at 9:35 PM
Nail on the fucking head.
Reposted by Sameer 🍉
this is the funniest possible way to brag about getting laid alot
August 12, 2025 at 2:18 AM
this is the funniest possible way to brag about getting laid alot
Reposted by Sameer 🍉
reskeet with a tweet you still think about
October 10, 2024 at 4:55 AM
reskeet with a tweet you still think about
Reposted by Sameer 🍉
Reposted by Sameer 🍉
Hulk Hogan ratted out other wrestlers attempting to unionize to save his own position and paycheck above anyone else's & gladly accepted funding from Peter Thiel for his Gawker court case that paved frequently abused legal precedents for the rich to shut down any media outlets that embarrass them.
July 24, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Hulk Hogan ratted out other wrestlers attempting to unionize to save his own position and paycheck above anyone else's & gladly accepted funding from Peter Thiel for his Gawker court case that paved frequently abused legal precedents for the rich to shut down any media outlets that embarrass them.
Reposted by Sameer 🍉
Hi! I'm the person who designs and implements all the 'Remember me at this computer' checkboxes on important websites. You'll be pleased to know they still don't work.
July 21, 2025 at 3:11 PM
Hi! I'm the person who designs and implements all the 'Remember me at this computer' checkboxes on important websites. You'll be pleased to know they still don't work.
Reposted by Sameer 🍉
SCROOGE (Walton Goggins) (VO): It had been seven years Old Marley had been dead. Unless this is known, nothing fantastic can be understood
MARLEY (Danny McBride) flings open BEDROOM DOOR: Hey Scrooge what's up you sassy son of a bitch. Who decorated this place Jack the Ripper
MARLEY (Danny McBride) flings open BEDROOM DOOR: Hey Scrooge what's up you sassy son of a bitch. Who decorated this place Jack the Ripper
December 16, 2024 at 10:20 PM
SCROOGE (Walton Goggins) (VO): It had been seven years Old Marley had been dead. Unless this is known, nothing fantastic can be understood
MARLEY (Danny McBride) flings open BEDROOM DOOR: Hey Scrooge what's up you sassy son of a bitch. Who decorated this place Jack the Ripper
MARLEY (Danny McBride) flings open BEDROOM DOOR: Hey Scrooge what's up you sassy son of a bitch. Who decorated this place Jack the Ripper
Reposted by Sameer 🍉
/host introducing the musical guest for their second song on SNL voice
July 18, 2025 at 1:54 AM
/host introducing the musical guest for their second song on SNL voice
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Is it too late to give Sacha Baron Cohen an Oscar for this? Not a damn lie told. 🇺🇸
June 22, 2025 at 7:53 PM
Is it too late to give Sacha Baron Cohen an Oscar for this? Not a damn lie told. 🇺🇸
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Post a Superman comic that came out the month you turned 15
June 20, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Post a Superman comic that came out the month you turned 15
Reposted by Sameer 🍉
A short tragedy, 2025 edition.
June 3, 2025 at 4:49 AM
A short tragedy, 2025 edition.
Reposted by Sameer 🍉
✨WHEEZING✨
(please dear goddess stick around for the US entrant 💀)
(please dear goddess stick around for the US entrant 💀)
May 28, 2025 at 1:13 AM
✨WHEEZING✨
(please dear goddess stick around for the US entrant 💀)
(please dear goddess stick around for the US entrant 💀)
In the "why is this a mockumentary" genre of sitcoms, I'd take St. Denis Medical over Abbott Elementary all day. So good.
March 27, 2025 at 10:25 AM
In the "why is this a mockumentary" genre of sitcoms, I'd take St. Denis Medical over Abbott Elementary all day. So good.
Why are Magnum chocobars always out of stock online?
March 22, 2025 at 9:25 AM
Why are Magnum chocobars always out of stock online?
