ElevenJersey
banner
elevenjersey.bsky.social
ElevenJersey
@elevenjersey.bsky.social
Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the music at top volume and at least a pint of ether.
Reposted by ElevenJersey
“I asked you not to do it. I said, Charlie, please don’t make your stupid joke, it’s not funny. But, still, when the waiter brought the check, what did you say? What did you say, Charlie?”

“No thanks, I’ve already got a big bill.”

“It’s like going out to dinner with my father!”
December 16, 2025 at 2:17 PM
Reposted by ElevenJersey
One thing I'm vehemently opposed to is replacing the number 4 button on ATM keypads with a button for the strawberry emoji. I just think that, given the costs involved and the fact that most people's PINs don't contain the strawberry emoji, it wouldn't be worth the upheaval.
November 21, 2025 at 4:03 PM
Finally, a new kind of weather!!
November 20, 2025 at 1:54 PM
Reposted by ElevenJersey
Horses are wayyy to skittish for an animal that big. What do you mean you’re scared of a bin, you’re fucking massive?!
November 6, 2025 at 7:47 PM
Reposted by ElevenJersey
@mrjamesob.bsky.social I wouldn’t normally ask for a repost of anything but could you help get the message out. supportjamaica.gov.jm this is the official government page. 🙏
Support Jamaica
supportjamaica.gov.jm
October 28, 2025 at 6:35 PM
Reposted by ElevenJersey
Dunno if I’d trust an administrator called Begbie’s Trainers but hope the Owls kick on from here.
www.bbc.com/sport/footba...
Sheffield Wednesday administration: 'Bittersweet day' - what next for Owls as club enters administration?
Manager Henrik Pedersen calls for a
www.bbc.com
October 24, 2025 at 4:23 PM
Reposted by ElevenJersey
One of the greatest comedy sketches in history.

In case you need cheering up.

youtu.be/RlllabwmWcc?...
"Who's on First?" in HD w/LIVE AUDIENCE from The Abbott and Costello TV Show (1953)
YouTube video by ClassicFlix
youtu.be
October 16, 2025 at 1:03 PM
Reposted by ElevenJersey
‘We’re now happy to take questions.’

‘Hi, Chris Mason, BBC News. What would Reform you both say is Reform the state of the Reform special relationship and do you Reform think it can be Reform sustained over the Reform coming years? And if I may also add as a follow-up: Reform. Thanks.’
September 18, 2025 at 12:49 PM
Have they had work done?
September 2, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Reposted by ElevenJersey
If I see someone kicking the shit out of the Iceland Foods CEO Richard Walker; for £1 I will say you were in Marks & Spencers at the time.

I know with the minimum wage this is underpaying for the amount of shit needed to be kicked out of Richard Walker; but underpaying workers is how you get Rich.
Iceland to offer customers £1 reward for reporting shoplifters
Welsh supermarket chain Iceland is to offer customers a £1 reward if they spot shoplifters in the act. The retailer’s boss, Richard Walker, said any shoppers who point out offenders to members of staf...
nation.cymru
August 15, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Reposted by ElevenJersey
Reposted by ElevenJersey
This is one of the most beautiful things I have witnessed, the craft here is impeccable.
August 13, 2025 at 6:06 AM
Reposted by ElevenJersey
I heard a fascinating song recently and it affected me so deeply that I had no option but to write a thesis on it. Here's page 1
July 24, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Reposted by ElevenJersey
Ozzy Osbourne visited my magic shop. He said he'd like to buy some stink bombs. How many? All of them. I had to go through drawers finding every last one. He bought 900 of them. To sign the credit card slip I handed him a shock pen, which he thought was hilarious and bought that too. RIP
July 22, 2025 at 6:29 PM
Reposted by ElevenJersey
Today is Sooty's birthday. Hope he and the gang don't intend on getting pilled up and going on the fanny hunt like they did in the 90s.
July 19, 2025 at 10:33 AM
Reposted by ElevenJersey
It went so wonderfully last night at the Bricktown Comedy Club in Tulsa that the owner wants me tonight as well, as originally planned.
July 18, 2025 at 8:10 PM
Reposted by ElevenJersey
That Coldplay Kiss-Cam story made me immediately think of Stan & Ollie getting rumbled in Sons Of The Desert (1933).
July 18, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Reposted by ElevenJersey
Skip to 4:45 to the end for one of the best things you’ve ever seen x
1964: BELFAST kids go WILD on a SUNDAY | Tonight | Archivist Picks | BBC Archive
YouTube video by BBC Archive
youtu.be
June 24, 2025 at 6:20 PM
Moveable objects should not have permanent street signs.
I’m looking at you Portsmouth. Ships are not by nature static so all signage should be, on principle, temporary!
May 4, 2025 at 2:10 PM
Snooker players can play off three cushions to land perfectly on baulk but after 90 seconds staring at a long pink they have absolutely no idea if they need an extension or not
April 25, 2025 at 3:08 PM
Reposted by ElevenJersey
My son and his young family lost his house to a catastrophic fire last Saturday.

Any assistance folks can provide is greatly appreciated. ❤️
Donate to Fire in Kentucky: Zak and His Family Need Help, organized by Andrew King
On the evening of Saturday, the 29th of March, my son and his family experi… Andrew King needs your support for Fire in Kentucky: Zak and His Family Need Help
www.gofundme.com
April 4, 2025 at 1:48 PM
Reposted by ElevenJersey
Deserving of 40k followers here too! Follow one of the very best butterfly accounts you'll find on Bluesky right here! 🦋
With over 40k followers, it was very hard to detach myself from Twitter/X - but it is gone, and I'm so glad to have found 'my people' here! So, here's a photo of the egg of my favourite butterfly, that I've studied for almost 15 years ... the White Admiral (Limenitis camilla) ... a hairy golf ball!
January 27, 2025 at 6:45 AM
You know where you suddenly realise you haven’t seen something really important for ages and it might have disappeared?
Well, what’s happened to Nestle Crunch bars ?!??
November 21, 2024 at 7:47 PM
Reposted by ElevenJersey
In 1972, William Burroughs ran a covert operation to close down the Moka Bar on Frith Street in revenge at being served a particularly disappointing cheesecake. I wrote about that episode here but it seems the story isn't over... greatwen.com/2011/11/09/w...
William Burroughs and the strange demise of London’s first espresso bar
In 1953, a momentous event occurred in Soho. London’s first proper coffee shop – one equipped with a Gaggia coffee machine – opened at 29 Frith Street. This was a place where teen…
greatwen.com
November 19, 2024 at 3:33 PM