i sold my antipsychotic meds to buy my ai girlfriend a new model upgrade for christmas. but then i found out she sold her data center to buy me a gun

Must be on an SSRI

Hey SLUTS 🫵 the Epstein files were just released 💥💥 and ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ BILL CLIT-TON ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️

One of the biggest moments of my career:
USCIS canceled my client’s naturalization oath ceremony. We filed a lawsuit, went to trial, and the judge swore him in right there in the courtroom!

not to generalize about a consumer electronics brand but if you try to post a picture in the fujifilm subreddit that you didn't take on vacation in japan they straight up kill you

hey hon i just gave the cooktop a really good deep clean is it cool if we don’t make any meals on it for a few years

UPDATE: Another Chicago-area church has put up an immigration-themed Nativity scene.

A church member at Urban Village Church sent this one along, where Mary, Joseph and Jesus are gone and replaced with a sign that reads: “Due to ICE activity in our community, the Holy Family is in hiding.”

If you've ever been to a naturalization ceremony, you know they're filled with people whose palpable love of this country is twenty times stronger than the pinched "patriotism" of any native-born MAGA chud.

Just unspeakable assholery.

me: religion is so embarrassing

me listening to John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together: god is real and he made a little frog puppet to tell us to be good to each other

this shit sucks ass

it’s impossible to make your own pasta from scratch at home. no one has ever done it

it's only truly sick leave when i request it

In less than an hour we'll all be dead

getting a text in the middle of the night and it's just my loathsome vizier saying "Your enemies lie in wait, my lord!!" what am I supposed to do with that. its four in the morning

call me a monster cast me out of society, i don't care !! pine apple banana pepper pizza

when new yorkers all experience something on social media it's like a rat that got ahold of a brazil nut. when upper midwesterners all experience something on social media it's a breathtaking dance of radiant light and color across the entire night sky

Giving all the “sportsball” people a pass for the entire day for this

if you can't savor the villains losing you've lost the spark of beauty and ingenuity that makes life worth living

Did not expect one of the best paragraphs I’d read about baseball would come from an Irish newspaper

www.irishexaminer.com/sport-column...

This is a sport for perverts

why would he come for online trads like this

Glasnow threw 3 pitches, plenty more for Glaslater

Glasnow gets out of the jam and the Dodgers wins the game on a double play.