Pinned
Han Solo Cup
@hansolocup.bsky.social
· Nov 15
Him: how do you want your eggs?
Me: outside the control of the patriarchy
Him: so definitely not poached?
Me: outside the control of the patriarchy
Him: so definitely not poached?
Harsh truth for people that only use their small laptop screen and no monitor:
You say that’s all you need to do your job, but the rest of us can tell.
You are slower and less accurate.
You say that’s all you need to do your job, but the rest of us can tell.
You are slower and less accurate.
December 2, 2025 at 2:10 PM
Harsh truth for people that only use their small laptop screen and no monitor:
You say that’s all you need to do your job, but the rest of us can tell.
You are slower and less accurate.
You say that’s all you need to do your job, but the rest of us can tell.
You are slower and less accurate.
Never trust someone that asks to borrow your lip balm.
November 27, 2025 at 3:59 PM
Never trust someone that asks to borrow your lip balm.
Reposted by Han Solo Cup
*evaluating the apple pie for Thanksgiving* this isn’t remotely fuckable
November 28, 2024 at 3:54 AM
*evaluating the apple pie for Thanksgiving* this isn’t remotely fuckable
Reposted by Han Solo Cup
I’m bringing some very traditional things to thanksgiving this year.
I really hope everyone enjoys their smallpox blankets.
I really hope everyone enjoys their smallpox blankets.
November 27, 2024 at 10:23 PM
I’m bringing some very traditional things to thanksgiving this year.
I really hope everyone enjoys their smallpox blankets.
I really hope everyone enjoys their smallpox blankets.
Reposted by Han Solo Cup
ask not for whom the butt holes it holes for thee
November 19, 2025 at 7:31 PM
ask not for whom the butt holes it holes for thee
I could never be a “yes man”. Definitely more of a “yo, man”.
November 18, 2025 at 8:39 PM
I could never be a “yes man”. Definitely more of a “yo, man”.
Reposted by Han Solo Cup
Reposted by Han Solo Cup
What in the festive fuck
November 18, 2025 at 12:49 AM
What in the festive fuck
Guest Services: your stay comes with a free incontinental breakfast
Me: don’t you mean continental?
Guest Services: the Imodium is next to the orange juice
Me: don’t you mean continental?
Guest Services: the Imodium is next to the orange juice
November 17, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Guest Services: your stay comes with a free incontinental breakfast
Me: don’t you mean continental?
Guest Services: the Imodium is next to the orange juice
Me: don’t you mean continental?
Guest Services: the Imodium is next to the orange juice
Replacing your underwear every 6-12 months is just propaganda from big panty.
November 7, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Replacing your underwear every 6-12 months is just propaganda from big panty.
Reposted by Han Solo Cup
Who we used to have to buy weed from before legalization
November 4, 2025 at 11:46 PM
Who we used to have to buy weed from before legalization
Reposted by Han Solo Cup
Don’t know why trick-or-treaters are annoyed I’m scooping guacamole into their bags. It’s a premium add-on
October 31, 2025 at 11:11 PM
Don’t know why trick-or-treaters are annoyed I’m scooping guacamole into their bags. It’s a premium add-on
There’s always a secreter society.
October 31, 2025 at 5:40 PM
There’s always a secreter society.
Reposted by Han Solo Cup
Is there going to be an IPO and a Wall Street listing for the US government, or is this a private sale to the billionaires?
October 24, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Is there going to be an IPO and a Wall Street listing for the US government, or is this a private sale to the billionaires?
Reposted by Han Solo Cup
better to reign in taco bell than serve at cheesecake factory
January 30, 2025 at 10:27 PM
better to reign in taco bell than serve at cheesecake factory
Reposted by Han Solo Cup
You can't just sweep the elephant in the room under the rug.
June 6, 2025 at 5:17 PM
You can't just sweep the elephant in the room under the rug.
If getting loaded means stuffing myself with cheese, bacon, butter, and sour cream, then yes please.
October 23, 2025 at 5:14 PM
If getting loaded means stuffing myself with cheese, bacon, butter, and sour cream, then yes please.
Reposted by Han Solo Cup
The reward of getting your shit together is finding another layer of shit to deal with. There is no end to the shit.
October 2, 2025 at 1:29 PM
The reward of getting your shit together is finding another layer of shit to deal with. There is no end to the shit.
What’s the age requirement to drive a Buick? Like 62?
September 21, 2025 at 12:14 AM
What’s the age requirement to drive a Buick? Like 62?
Reposted by Han Solo Cup
replacing Batman fight onomatopoeiae with old midwestern brewery names
August 30, 2025 at 3:34 AM
replacing Batman fight onomatopoeiae with old midwestern brewery names
There are axolotls everywhere. #dragoncon2025
August 28, 2025 at 3:25 AM
There are axolotls everywhere. #dragoncon2025
Reposted by Han Solo Cup
*Puts on cloak on invisibility*
"This is gonna be so much fun"
*Stays at home and watches tv*
"This is gonna be so much fun"
*Stays at home and watches tv*
August 27, 2025 at 3:42 PM
*Puts on cloak on invisibility*
"This is gonna be so much fun"
*Stays at home and watches tv*
"This is gonna be so much fun"
*Stays at home and watches tv*
Reposted by Han Solo Cup
I like walking up to people and saying, “You’ve been served,” and then handing them an overnight oats recipe.
August 24, 2025 at 5:40 PM
I like walking up to people and saying, “You’ve been served,” and then handing them an overnight oats recipe.
On Monday, I remembered the new work password I set on Friday. Not today, AARP!
August 26, 2025 at 2:20 PM
On Monday, I remembered the new work password I set on Friday. Not today, AARP!