ItsMe-Aedan
@itsme-aedan.bsky.social
Gather 'round children. It's story time
"Once upon a time there was this thing called reality. It wasn't perfect, but it also wasn't whatever the fuck this shit is."
"Once upon a time there was this thing called reality. It wasn't perfect, but it also wasn't whatever the fuck this shit is."
Pinned
ItsMe-Aedan
@itsme-aedan.bsky.social
· Dec 11
Asked my wife to clarify shit post.
She said "literally every sentence that ever comes out of your mouth."
Guess this is where I belong..
She said "literally every sentence that ever comes out of your mouth."
Guess this is where I belong..
Cocaine so white it's unborn kid is on a 4 year waitlist for preschool
March 31, 2025 at 2:24 AM
Cocaine so white it's unborn kid is on a 4 year waitlist for preschool
-Sub par skeet, more 🤍's than deserved
-Dumb skeet, too many🤍
- Cult following acct
-No clue what that means
-Subpar
-Banger, deserves more attention
-Acct who never Rs's anyone & isn't that funny
-Way too thirsty
-Extremely arrogant
-Meh
- politcal repies
-Meh
-Banger
There. All caught up
-Dumb skeet, too many🤍
- Cult following acct
-No clue what that means
-Subpar
-Banger, deserves more attention
-Acct who never Rs's anyone & isn't that funny
-Way too thirsty
-Extremely arrogant
-Meh
- politcal repies
-Meh
-Banger
There. All caught up
March 31, 2025 at 2:18 AM
-Sub par skeet, more 🤍's than deserved
-Dumb skeet, too many🤍
- Cult following acct
-No clue what that means
-Subpar
-Banger, deserves more attention
-Acct who never Rs's anyone & isn't that funny
-Way too thirsty
-Extremely arrogant
-Meh
- politcal repies
-Meh
-Banger
There. All caught up
-Dumb skeet, too many🤍
- Cult following acct
-No clue what that means
-Subpar
-Banger, deserves more attention
-Acct who never Rs's anyone & isn't that funny
-Way too thirsty
-Extremely arrogant
-Meh
- politcal repies
-Meh
-Banger
There. All caught up
Reposted by ItsMe-Aedan
Can we just stop for 5 freaking minutes? Like a worldwide timeout 🤦🏻♀️
March 16, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Can we just stop for 5 freaking minutes? Like a worldwide timeout 🤦🏻♀️
Reposted by ItsMe-Aedan
Robot umpires!?!?!
February 20, 2025 at 5:55 PM
Robot umpires!?!?!
Reposted by ItsMe-Aedan
🎶Ba da dum dum dum
Another one gets a block.
And another one gone
And another one gone.
Another one gets a block.
Hey. Gonna get'chu too
Another one gets a block🎶
Another one gets a block.
And another one gone
And another one gone.
Another one gets a block.
Hey. Gonna get'chu too
Another one gets a block🎶
February 19, 2025 at 9:18 PM
🎶Ba da dum dum dum
Another one gets a block.
And another one gone
And another one gone.
Another one gets a block.
Hey. Gonna get'chu too
Another one gets a block🎶
Another one gets a block.
And another one gone
And another one gone.
Another one gets a block.
Hey. Gonna get'chu too
Another one gets a block🎶
Reposted by ItsMe-Aedan
I put on an extra layer of bitchy, to stay warm.
February 19, 2025 at 10:41 PM
I put on an extra layer of bitchy, to stay warm.
Reposted by ItsMe-Aedan
🎶Look at this trove
Treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Looking around here you'd think
Sure, she's got everything🎶
*Ariel, admiring her vaccine collection, probably
Treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Looking around here you'd think
Sure, she's got everything🎶
*Ariel, admiring her vaccine collection, probably
February 20, 2025 at 5:38 PM
🎶Look at this trove
Treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Looking around here you'd think
Sure, she's got everything🎶
*Ariel, admiring her vaccine collection, probably
Treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Looking around here you'd think
Sure, she's got everything🎶
*Ariel, admiring her vaccine collection, probably
Reposted by ItsMe-Aedan
Pregaming in the parking lot before I go into the Gerald Ford Museum
February 20, 2025 at 5:21 PM
Pregaming in the parking lot before I go into the Gerald Ford Museum
Reposted by ItsMe-Aedan
MORE COWBELL!!!
That will fix us
That will fix us
February 20, 2025 at 5:25 PM
MORE COWBELL!!!
That will fix us
That will fix us
Reposted by ItsMe-Aedan
I want to nibble on your earlobes.
After sauteeing them in some butter and garlic.
After sauteeing them in some butter and garlic.
February 18, 2025 at 8:01 PM
I want to nibble on your earlobes.
After sauteeing them in some butter and garlic.
After sauteeing them in some butter and garlic.
Reposted by ItsMe-Aedan
If my thoughts could kill stupid people I’d probably be a serial killer.
If my thoughts could talk to people I’d probably be arrested.
February 18, 2025 at 6:24 PM
If my thoughts could kill stupid people I’d probably be a serial killer.
Reposted by ItsMe-Aedan
Same!
I hope America is as lucky as the delta jet - everyone survives but the right wing explodes
February 18, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Same!
Wife: Do that thing I like
Me: *Duct tapes my mouth shut and makes her a grilled cheese*
Me: *Duct tapes my mouth shut and makes her a grilled cheese*
February 18, 2025 at 5:28 PM
Wife: Do that thing I like
Me: *Duct tapes my mouth shut and makes her a grilled cheese*
Me: *Duct tapes my mouth shut and makes her a grilled cheese*
Misread Doge as Dogs.
I'm gonna stick with it, bc dogs taking over is way more funny than the alternative.
I'm gonna stick with it, bc dogs taking over is way more funny than the alternative.
February 17, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Misread Doge as Dogs.
I'm gonna stick with it, bc dogs taking over is way more funny than the alternative.
I'm gonna stick with it, bc dogs taking over is way more funny than the alternative.
Reposted by ItsMe-Aedan
"Make yourself at home"
"Stop pulling your bra out of your sleeve"
Make up your mind, HR, make up your mind!
"Stop pulling your bra out of your sleeve"
Make up your mind, HR, make up your mind!
February 17, 2025 at 5:26 PM
"Make yourself at home"
"Stop pulling your bra out of your sleeve"
Make up your mind, HR, make up your mind!
"Stop pulling your bra out of your sleeve"
Make up your mind, HR, make up your mind!
Reposted by ItsMe-Aedan
Reposted by ItsMe-Aedan
the three body problem is you, me and the reeking corpse of a debauched weekend that we will need to drag through a whole work week while we get the stars to align for next saturday.
February 17, 2025 at 3:17 PM
the three body problem is you, me and the reeking corpse of a debauched weekend that we will need to drag through a whole work week while we get the stars to align for next saturday.
Reposted by ItsMe-Aedan
A DNA test showed that the last common ancestor that the president shared with anyone died 440 million years ago.
February 17, 2025 at 3:17 PM
A DNA test showed that the last common ancestor that the president shared with anyone died 440 million years ago.
Reposted by ItsMe-Aedan
*picks up phone to use calculator*
*opens to BlueSky*
*Skeets, likes, reskeets*
*sets phone down*
*remembers I need to use the calculator*
*repeat until approx 5pm*
*opens to BlueSky*
*Skeets, likes, reskeets*
*sets phone down*
*remembers I need to use the calculator*
*repeat until approx 5pm*
February 17, 2025 at 3:22 PM
*picks up phone to use calculator*
*opens to BlueSky*
*Skeets, likes, reskeets*
*sets phone down*
*remembers I need to use the calculator*
*repeat until approx 5pm*
*opens to BlueSky*
*Skeets, likes, reskeets*
*sets phone down*
*remembers I need to use the calculator*
*repeat until approx 5pm*
Reposted by ItsMe-Aedan
And now I'm not allowed in the store anymore.
Btw, that scale was very cold.
Btw, that scale was very cold.
February 17, 2025 at 2:56 PM
And now I'm not allowed in the store anymore.
Btw, that scale was very cold.
Btw, that scale was very cold.
Celebrating the 45 presidents---who collectively landed us in the clusterfuck we're in.
44 if we give Abe a pass.
The new celebratory ritual is sacrificing 3 billionaires to the old gods
44 if we give Abe a pass.
The new celebratory ritual is sacrificing 3 billionaires to the old gods
February 17, 2025 at 1:54 PM
Celebrating the 45 presidents---who collectively landed us in the clusterfuck we're in.
44 if we give Abe a pass.
The new celebratory ritual is sacrificing 3 billionaires to the old gods
44 if we give Abe a pass.
The new celebratory ritual is sacrificing 3 billionaires to the old gods
Reposted by ItsMe-Aedan
Our Roomba used to be a marvel of technology. Now it’s just my dog’s personal vomit Zamboni, turning every mess into a floor-wide masterpiece.
February 17, 2025 at 11:59 AM
Our Roomba used to be a marvel of technology. Now it’s just my dog’s personal vomit Zamboni, turning every mess into a floor-wide masterpiece.