Jacob Hatton
jacobhashishaton.bsky.social
Jacob Hatton
@jacobhashishaton.bsky.social
Sometime comedian and author.
If I were to reanimate a corpse-man from stolen parts I found attractive I would simply make the creature actually attractive instead of hideous and uncanny
Reading Frankenstein & reflecting that, were i to make a corpse-man i would make things easier for everyone by not making him eight foot tall
December 2, 2025 at 11:54 PM
Don’t make me defend the chancellor but this wave of stories really are absolute bullshit. So clear that they wanted to bang on about the tax rise that didn’t happen so now they’re actively scalp hunting
If you look at the ridiculous case studies they dredged up & the desperate attempts to hang Reeves for ‘lying’ about the rationale behind a policy she *did not introduce*, you might work out why right-wing media is straining *not* to talk about the finer detail of her (unremarkable) budget.
November 30, 2025 at 2:18 PM
Reposted by Jacob Hatton
It does feel like half the stories in the UK press only make sense if you follow Enoch1488, a peadophile on twitter who they have decided is the voice of True Working Class Brits
At some point the media’s view of their jobs changed from holding politicians accountable to active scalp hunting over relatively nothing. They’re trying to use a relentless drum-beat of less than honest narrative creation to try and force resignations in a way they never did before.
November 30, 2025 at 10:12 AM
This will actively appeal to a lot of reform people who basically love that they can be part of essentially, “The Dickhead Party”, but ideally we can switch a few people off at least
November 29, 2025 at 11:10 AM
November 27, 2025 at 5:34 PM
I think this is right btw. Most of the MASSIVE fall in immigration is a result of the new restrictions from the last Tory govt finally having an impact, give it a couple of years and Labour are going find they’ve overshot
I think the government meant to cut net migration but have accidentally overshot the target by a lot. They haven’t realised this yet.
November 27, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Business idea: I come round your house and use my lack of construction skills to turn it into a shithole to own Rachel Reeves.

I will charge a year of mansion tax for the pleasure.
November 27, 2025 at 3:44 PM
Reposted by Jacob Hatton
Another way of looking at this, of course, is that if you took the triple lock out of the equation, the benefits bill would very likely roughly be increasing in line with projected inflation *if that*
November 26, 2025 at 10:04 PM
There’s no welfare state that isn’t funded by broad base tax rises btw. We can have an expansive welfare state with strong public services (my preference) but you as in low paid and middle earners will pay more for it.

Anyway, the budget is basically fine. she bottled it by not upping income tax.
Rachel Reeves says this Labour Governments decisions are "necessary."

Why is it always necessary to hit the living standards of the 99%?

When are we going to make the necessary decisions about extreme wealth?
November 27, 2025 at 9:34 AM
Sending the police to arrest you for the capture of your child bride (F30)
November 26, 2025 at 12:14 PM
The Antebellum Curve
a left-of-center charles murray type who argues that we must stop blaming the myriad problems of southern whites on their diseased culture and instead accept that southern whites are genetically inferior
November 24, 2025 at 3:35 PM
Reposted by Jacob Hatton
Let's say for the sake of argument that his policies are "successful" (say in reducing the number of UK asylum applications).

Does he think the press will simply sit back and applaud him?

No chance. They'll just invent a new bogeyman – a new epidemic – that he's to blame for
November 17, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Reposted by Jacob Hatton
Starmer’s anti-asylum policies show how utterly clueless he is about the right-wing media’s role in politics.

He’s trying to fix a “problem” contrived by Farage, GB News and The Telegraph. He’ll never win, because ultimately he’s fighting a ghost – he’s fighting something that doesn’t really exist
November 17, 2025 at 2:57 PM
Myles Garrett is the best defensive player I’ve ever seen and I’ve been watching the ravens when prime Lewis and Reed were playing. Kyle Hamilton is going to be a hall of famer though
November 17, 2025 at 6:42 PM
The commitment to turning this island into a nationwide episode of “Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away”
The Sun has been told Home Secretary Shabana Mahmood will on Monday propose confiscating jewellery, watches, necklaces from asylum seekers to meet asylum costs

This reflects the most controversial aspect of the Danish scheme - the Jewellery Law. The toughest Labour MPs thought this was OTT
November 17, 2025 at 9:47 AM
Trump daintily pincering your schlong between his thumb and forefinger whilst he prepares to show you why he is the throat goat
November 15, 2025 at 11:52 AM
They need to do a post-Traitors show hosted by Joel Dommett and Alison Hammond where the losers go to their chosen charity and have it explained to them exactly what can’t now be funded as a result of their failure
FYI: The BBC has revealed the charities #TheCelebrityTraitors were all competing for, with links so that you can donate.
November 14, 2025 at 6:38 PM
This is an astonishingly good pop song by the way. Really gorgeous stuff
November 12, 2025 at 8:16 PM
Reposted by Jacob Hatton
Our expectations were low but fucking hell. "The Irish", is it
bsky.app/profile/ciar...
November 9, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Reposted by Jacob Hatton
I'm imagining them swirling the spunk around in a brandy glass.
November 10, 2025 at 7:17 PM
If the Senate Dems fold, they’ll be the Calzone Express
November 10, 2025 at 3:04 PM
The whole internet loves Mamdani, a lovely New York mayor called Mamdani! *5 seconds later* We regret to inform you the mayor is a gooner
here we are indeed.

(additional context for fans of other sports: Arsenal is currently at the top of the Premier League)
November 8, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Here’s what Mamdani’s win means for the Lewisham Blood Bowl playing scene in 2025…
November 5, 2025 at 11:04 AM
All time great anti development argument
November 4, 2025 at 9:03 AM
Every single one of these written by your teenage niece and nephew
November 3, 2025 at 1:44 PM