Kimber Agonistes
@kimberagonistes.bsky.social
ICE delenda est
Mistress Agonistes, tantric sex instructor
PLEASE TAKE A SEAT. THE ABYSS WILL SEE YOU SHORTLY.
Pinned
This broke me. I’m logging off for a while.
The murdered woman's glove compartment is filled with stuffed animals.
January 7, 2026 at 10:48 PM
This broke me. I’m logging off for a while.
Reposted by Kimber Agonistes
touching their face and saying "it looks so real" when I meet a friend's new boyfriend
May 13, 2025 at 4:01 PM
touching their face and saying "it looks so real" when I meet a friend's new boyfriend
Reposted by Kimber Agonistes
Why Would Women Like Naked Gorgeous Men Talking About Their Emotions. Why Would Women Like Beautiful Sexy Men Yearning Sexily. Why Would Women Like Sculpted Butts And True Love. The Female Mind Is An Enigma.
January 7, 2026 at 3:15 AM
Why Would Women Like Naked Gorgeous Men Talking About Their Emotions. Why Would Women Like Beautiful Sexy Men Yearning Sexily. Why Would Women Like Sculpted Butts And True Love. The Female Mind Is An Enigma.
How my neurodivergence tends to manifest:
January 7, 2026 at 9:44 PM
How my neurodivergence tends to manifest:
Taking deep breaths and reminding myself that I’m absolutely not as anonymous as I’d like to think and I simply cannot afford to post what I’m thinking right now.
This is free advice for you, too.
This is free advice for you, too.
January 7, 2026 at 8:53 PM
Taking deep breaths and reminding myself that I’m absolutely not as anonymous as I’d like to think and I simply cannot afford to post what I’m thinking right now.
This is free advice for you, too.
This is free advice for you, too.
Reposted by Kimber Agonistes
Hi hello it is okay to post about silly things today it is okay to post about movies or food or whatever
The ICE Murder in Minneapolis is an absolute horror and you should be aware of it and doing that you can to speak up but doing nothing but panic and doompost or scroll today is Bad For You.
The ICE Murder in Minneapolis is an absolute horror and you should be aware of it and doing that you can to speak up but doing nothing but panic and doompost or scroll today is Bad For You.
January 7, 2026 at 6:22 PM
Hi hello it is okay to post about silly things today it is okay to post about movies or food or whatever
The ICE Murder in Minneapolis is an absolute horror and you should be aware of it and doing that you can to speak up but doing nothing but panic and doompost or scroll today is Bad For You.
The ICE Murder in Minneapolis is an absolute horror and you should be aware of it and doing that you can to speak up but doing nothing but panic and doompost or scroll today is Bad For You.
Reposted by Kimber Agonistes
We’re working hard to break the “River Side Curse.” In the meantime, please claim your complimentary amulet from the gift shop.
January 7, 2026 at 6:26 PM
We’re working hard to break the “River Side Curse.” In the meantime, please claim your complimentary amulet from the gift shop.
Reposted by Kimber Agonistes
I felt it was my duty to inform everyone that these old-ass men are finally living their truth
January 6, 2026 at 6:30 PM
I felt it was my duty to inform everyone that these old-ass men are finally living their truth
If a shapeshifter is wearing fingernail and toenail polish when they shift into a wolf, does the polish stay on their claws?
(Asking for a friend.)
(Asking for a friend.)
January 7, 2026 at 12:04 AM
If a shapeshifter is wearing fingernail and toenail polish when they shift into a wolf, does the polish stay on their claws?
(Asking for a friend.)
(Asking for a friend.)
Just off the top of my head I’m going to say Haven (even though I’ll think of something else as soon as I hit the post button on this).
The last few minutes of the finale had me seriously pissed off and SHOUTING! IN! ALL! CAPS!
And then it stuck the landing and I was fucking SOBBING.
So yeah.
The last few minutes of the finale had me seriously pissed off and SHOUTING! IN! ALL! CAPS!
And then it stuck the landing and I was fucking SOBBING.
So yeah.
Given that apparently the Stranger Things finale was meh (idk, didn't watch it, just the scuttlebutt) and we're not that far removed from the disastrous GOT finale that retroactively made everyone have never cared about the show:
What's the *best* ending to a show you've ever seen? Quote/reply etc
What's the *best* ending to a show you've ever seen? Quote/reply etc
January 6, 2026 at 11:53 PM
Just off the top of my head I’m going to say Haven (even though I’ll think of something else as soon as I hit the post button on this).
The last few minutes of the finale had me seriously pissed off and SHOUTING! IN! ALL! CAPS!
And then it stuck the landing and I was fucking SOBBING.
So yeah.
The last few minutes of the finale had me seriously pissed off and SHOUTING! IN! ALL! CAPS!
And then it stuck the landing and I was fucking SOBBING.
So yeah.
HILTON for the stasi
The Hampton Inn Lakeville Minneapolis has been kicked out of the Hilton chain after a conservative commentator visited the hotel this morning and attempted to book accommodations posing as a DHS representative — a day after the property refused accommodations for federal immigration agents.
January 6, 2026 at 8:41 PM
HILTON for the stasi
I’m usually not a violent person but something about this makes me want to cut a bitch.
January 6, 2026 at 5:45 AM
I’m usually not a violent person but something about this makes me want to cut a bitch.
Reposted by Kimber Agonistes
Songs should have to end, no more fading out bullshit. Your band isn’t in a car driving away
This place needs some Innocuous Discourse pronto. Quote this with a take that’s not political or aggressive
January 6, 2026 at 4:46 AM
Songs should have to end, no more fading out bullshit. Your band isn’t in a car driving away
Reposted by Kimber Agonistes
Fuck it I don’t care anymore
January 1, 2026 at 7:01 AM
Fuck it I don’t care anymore
Reposted by Kimber Agonistes
Treat people with kindness.
If that doesn't work, grab them with your talons, devour them with your toothy maw, and digest them slowly over the next thousand years, and see if that helps.
If that doesn't work, grab them with your talons, devour them with your toothy maw, and digest them slowly over the next thousand years, and see if that helps.
December 16, 2025 at 3:15 AM
Treat people with kindness.
If that doesn't work, grab them with your talons, devour them with your toothy maw, and digest them slowly over the next thousand years, and see if that helps.
If that doesn't work, grab them with your talons, devour them with your toothy maw, and digest them slowly over the next thousand years, and see if that helps.
Reposted by Kimber Agonistes
Folks to call when you need help:
- friends
- family
- Etsy witches
- gutter goblins
- sexy vampires
- assorted forest horrors
- the ancient nameless one living at the bottom of your local lake
- friends
- family
- Etsy witches
- gutter goblins
- sexy vampires
- assorted forest horrors
- the ancient nameless one living at the bottom of your local lake
December 14, 2025 at 8:27 PM
Folks to call when you need help:
- friends
- family
- Etsy witches
- gutter goblins
- sexy vampires
- assorted forest horrors
- the ancient nameless one living at the bottom of your local lake
- friends
- family
- Etsy witches
- gutter goblins
- sexy vampires
- assorted forest horrors
- the ancient nameless one living at the bottom of your local lake
Dislocated my pinky finger while struggling to jam a sleeping bag back into its suddenly too-small protective case.
What's the most ridiculous way you ever hurt yourself? I got out of the tub, skidded in water and tripped over the toilet. Ankle sprain.
😅
😅
January 5, 2026 at 7:56 PM
Dislocated my pinky finger while struggling to jam a sleeping bag back into its suddenly too-small protective case.
Damn. Didn’t realize how badly I wanted one until just now.
The Escaped Cirque du Soleil Acrobat Breeding Grounds gift shop is temporarily out of XL t-shirts.
January 5, 2026 at 7:34 PM
Damn. Didn’t realize how badly I wanted one until just now.
Reposted by Kimber Agonistes
Hey, quick show of hands, how about if we don’t do tomorrow.
January 5, 2026 at 4:39 AM
Hey, quick show of hands, how about if we don’t do tomorrow.
An amazing book in an amazing series.
I just learned (at the end of the day, sorry about that) that EVERY HEART A DOORWAY is apparently on sale for $2.99 today so...get on that!
January 5, 2026 at 4:44 AM
An amazing book in an amazing series.
Reposted by Kimber Agonistes
If you can’t handle me at my expecting the worst, you don’t deserve me at my it wasn’t as bad as I thought.
January 3, 2026 at 10:29 PM
If you can’t handle me at my expecting the worst, you don’t deserve me at my it wasn’t as bad as I thought.
Reposted by Kimber Agonistes
Scorpio: That pattern you've been noticing is real and it's the key to understanding everything. Of course you'll need to gather a lot more data, so it's imperative that you neglect all relationships and responsibilities. You must focus on the pattern.
January 4, 2026 at 6:06 PM
Scorpio: That pattern you've been noticing is real and it's the key to understanding everything. Of course you'll need to gather a lot more data, so it's imperative that you neglect all relationships and responsibilities. You must focus on the pattern.
Reposted by Kimber Agonistes
repost to give those 2 or 3 followers who always like your weird posts a little forehead kiss & a grilled cheese cut diagonally
January 3, 2026 at 8:53 PM
repost to give those 2 or 3 followers who always like your weird posts a little forehead kiss & a grilled cheese cut diagonally
Reposted by Kimber Agonistes
Well, today – of course! – is the 79th anniversary of L Ron Hubbard trying to summon Baby Satan. Apparently, it was this very day in 1946 when the founder of Scientology teamed up with a rocket engineer called Jack Parsons to create a ‘moonchild’
January 4, 2026 at 1:37 PM
Well, today – of course! – is the 79th anniversary of L Ron Hubbard trying to summon Baby Satan. Apparently, it was this very day in 1946 when the founder of Scientology teamed up with a rocket engineer called Jack Parsons to create a ‘moonchild’
Funny in context, funny out of context, a win-win.
That’s a statue of Pan from Pompeii in which he is rogering a goat, by the way, rather than the statue of Pan in question, but it captures the spirit of what’s happening here, I think. Plus, as soon as I saw it when I searched for Pan, I was always going to use it, relevant or not. Obviously
January 4, 2026 at 9:47 PM
Funny in context, funny out of context, a win-win.