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presentdead🙋🏻‍♂️👻

@lacroixboi.dadguy.help

19K followers 540 following 30K posts

tell my Wife and bebé i mentioned them here. dang, that is a bright ass thigh… and jerry’s face ? future’s pasts: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaaizi5rqfrk cis•het•Supportive•CA sober 12yrs

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presentdead🙋🏻‍♂️👻 @lacroixboi.dadguy.help · Dec 23

kate bush running past sisyphus

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 1h

my slutty schrödinger halloween costume may or may not be all finished

7 25 160

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(spoo)key 👻 @kmillz.lol · 13h

a dick tattoo that reads “biisrth” when it’s soft but “biiiiiiiig stretch” when it’s hard

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d.ly @dly.bsky.social · 16h

I think it's very cool that we're able to make each other laugh

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Comfortably Numb @numb.comfortab.ly · 14h

Bluesky peeps adopted hashtag #fuckaas to recognize each other on Mastodon.

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Travis comma bitch @prof-hinkley.bsky.social · 18h

I can't believe it's already "my Homecoming dress won't be here in time" season

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d.ly @dly.bsky.social · 20h

haha ok go off, my liege

You will not get any automated email henceforth.

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mindi @flawdbizkit.bsky.social · 1d

don't be a hater, stuff your mouth full of taters

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d.ly @dly.bsky.social · 1d

[when someone tries to move their cat off camera during a call]

LEAVE IT 🔫

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(spoo)key 👻 @kmillz.lol · 1d

i got nipple teethed

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 1d

harassment in the workplace (director’s cut)

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Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social · 1d

Here’s a list of people who can throw a ball farther than me:

1: everyone

7 14 130

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alboo @captainacab.airbud.website · 1d

[coworker asks me what my plans are this weekend]

me: am i being detained?

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Frances "Are You Scared Yet" Meh @francesmeh.reviews · 1d

you: joining mastodon, going over there

me: in my kitchen, eating tourtière

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alboo @captainacab.airbud.website · 1d

it’s called a throw pillow because you put it under your knees when you throw up in the family popcorn/puke bowl

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(spoo)key 👻 @kmillz.lol · 1d

send me your address so we can be penpals after this

6 41 160

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Fun @funkelly.bsky.social · 1d

i don’t believe that any of the other kids at daycare actually fell asleep during nap time and i resent the idea that they did

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actually its fens monster @cringeunworthy.bsky.social · 1d

me: dude holy shit look the moon is so beautiful
the beauty:

how the moon looks to me with astigmatism. it's blurry and has a ring around it

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Mistress Caution @mistresscaution.myatproto.social · 1d

Idk fuckall about mastodon but I'm literally giggling about silliness with people on it so maybe it's worth learning.

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d.ly @dly.bsky.social · 1d

when someone tries to talk me down after suffering a minor inconvenience

Tim Robinson hysterically saying I almost killed myself Julie!

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Frances "Are You Scared Yet" Meh @francesmeh.reviews · 3d

on mastodon the mods don't arbitrarily ban you from the service but you'll wish they would

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Garth Marenghi's Catbus @hayao.lol · 1d

I enjoy how people with lists called "leftist pigs who deserve helicopter rides" are ignored so the devs can focus on what's *really* important, defending digital cancer