Marzipandancer
@marzipandancer.bsky.social
Marizpan+Panda+Dancer
Reply Guy
DM’s open to all bots and scams.
Reply Guy
DM’s open to all bots and scams.
Reposted by Marzipandancer
The Road (Amazon Prime Limited Series)
the boy: what is it, papa?
the man: it's an air fryer.
the boy: it fries air? why?
the man: it fries food. in dual zones.
the boy: what is it, papa?
the man: it's an air fryer.
the boy: it fries air? why?
the man: it fries food. in dual zones.
December 7, 2025 at 10:09 PM
The Road (Amazon Prime Limited Series)
the boy: what is it, papa?
the man: it's an air fryer.
the boy: it fries air? why?
the man: it fries food. in dual zones.
the boy: what is it, papa?
the man: it's an air fryer.
the boy: it fries air? why?
the man: it fries food. in dual zones.
Reposted by Marzipandancer
"Slop" has become a tedious readymade—memeified, high-affect, low precision—and so exemplifies the phenomenon it seeks to skewer.
December 7, 2025 at 5:35 PM
"Slop" has become a tedious readymade—memeified, high-affect, low precision—and so exemplifies the phenomenon it seeks to skewer.
Reposted by Marzipandancer
“We look brave,” said Frog.
“Yes, but are we?” asked Toad.
“Yes, but are we?” asked Toad.
December 7, 2025 at 2:37 AM
“We look brave,” said Frog.
“Yes, but are we?” asked Toad.
“Yes, but are we?” asked Toad.
Just watched a Cyber Truck pull into a smaller McDonald’s drive through. I’m about 80% sure it won’t make it through.
I wish I had the patience to turn around and watch. But I’m home now and that’s more fun.
I wish I had the patience to turn around and watch. But I’m home now and that’s more fun.
December 7, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Just watched a Cyber Truck pull into a smaller McDonald’s drive through. I’m about 80% sure it won’t make it through.
I wish I had the patience to turn around and watch. But I’m home now and that’s more fun.
I wish I had the patience to turn around and watch. But I’m home now and that’s more fun.
FIFA just awarded me a low effort joke I can keep making for fake internet points!
December 6, 2025 at 4:52 PM
FIFA just awarded me a low effort joke I can keep making for fake internet points!
Had the pleasure of going to a middle school band concert tonight. My son was in the jazz band and crushed it! Here’s a picture of his male band mates.
December 5, 2025 at 5:55 AM
Had the pleasure of going to a middle school band concert tonight. My son was in the jazz band and crushed it! Here’s a picture of his male band mates.
US Supreme Court rules that second strikes on survivors of destroyed fishing boats is pretty cool actually.
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...
US supreme court approves redrawn Texas congressional maps
Major win for Trump as justices reject lower-court ruling that found maps had been racially gerrymandered
www.theguardian.com
December 5, 2025 at 12:12 AM
US Supreme Court rules that second strikes on survivors of destroyed fishing boats is pretty cool actually.
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...
Reposted by Marzipandancer
I'm at the combination
December 4, 2025 at 3:17 AM
I'm at the combination
@weeder.bsky.social you bastard, I lost my close vision this week. I’m wearing readers now. I’m blaming your post.
December 4, 2025 at 1:29 AM
@weeder.bsky.social you bastard, I lost my close vision this week. I’m wearing readers now. I’m blaming your post.
Reposted by Marzipandancer
This sign raises more questions than it answers
December 2, 2025 at 8:31 PM
This sign raises more questions than it answers
I’ve learned the names of many football teams in an effort to mute them all.
I apologize for my many baseball skeets in the past. They will happen again.
I apologize for my many baseball skeets in the past. They will happen again.
December 2, 2025 at 6:46 AM
I’ve learned the names of many football teams in an effort to mute them all.
I apologize for my many baseball skeets in the past. They will happen again.
I apologize for my many baseball skeets in the past. They will happen again.
Mac Verstappen had so many options for his racing team name:
Race Max
Maximum Motorsports
Max Effort Racing
But he went with? maxverstappen.com
Like it’s 1998.
Race Max
Maximum Motorsports
Max Effort Racing
But he went with? maxverstappen.com
Like it’s 1998.
maxverstappen.co
December 2, 2025 at 2:55 AM
Mac Verstappen had so many options for his racing team name:
Race Max
Maximum Motorsports
Max Effort Racing
But he went with? maxverstappen.com
Like it’s 1998.
Race Max
Maximum Motorsports
Max Effort Racing
But he went with? maxverstappen.com
Like it’s 1998.
I want to go on record that the bullseye 🎯 emoji is the laziest reply, and is massively overused.
If that’s all you have to say, just hit the heart button.
If that’s all you have to say, just hit the heart button.
November 29, 2025 at 7:32 PM
I want to go on record that the bullseye 🎯 emoji is the laziest reply, and is massively overused.
If that’s all you have to say, just hit the heart button.
If that’s all you have to say, just hit the heart button.
PSA: You don’t have to buy anything tomorrow, and if you it won’t actually be at a discount.
Companies spend weeks slowly marking things up so their “discounts” look enticing.
Don’t let them win. Shop locally at small businesses, fuck Amazon and reject the oligarchs’ money drive.
Companies spend weeks slowly marking things up so their “discounts” look enticing.
Don’t let them win. Shop locally at small businesses, fuck Amazon and reject the oligarchs’ money drive.
November 27, 2025 at 10:21 PM
PSA: You don’t have to buy anything tomorrow, and if you it won’t actually be at a discount.
Companies spend weeks slowly marking things up so their “discounts” look enticing.
Don’t let them win. Shop locally at small businesses, fuck Amazon and reject the oligarchs’ money drive.
Companies spend weeks slowly marking things up so their “discounts” look enticing.
Don’t let them win. Shop locally at small businesses, fuck Amazon and reject the oligarchs’ money drive.
THIS IS YOUR TURKEY DEFROST REMINDER:
It’s not that good anyway, just make something else you really like and be happier.
It’s not that good anyway, just make something else you really like and be happier.
November 26, 2025 at 10:51 PM
THIS IS YOUR TURKEY DEFROST REMINDER:
It’s not that good anyway, just make something else you really like and be happier.
It’s not that good anyway, just make something else you really like and be happier.
Reposted by Marzipandancer
Steve whitkoff is an actual traitor
November 26, 2025 at 2:24 PM
Steve whitkoff is an actual traitor
Reposted by Marzipandancer
We have just finished the annual dust and polish of our trophy cabinets and what a glorious job the cleaners have done.
November 26, 2025 at 7:51 AM
We have just finished the annual dust and polish of our trophy cabinets and what a glorious job the cleaners have done.
PSA: If you need to make some room before Thanksgiving, or find things have slowed down too much after eating a massive pile of brown food: try triphala fruit powder.
A half teaspoon in your yogurt and you’ll be moving in an hour.
A full teaspoon and you’ll need to cancel your plans for the day.
A half teaspoon in your yogurt and you’ll be moving in an hour.
A full teaspoon and you’ll need to cancel your plans for the day.
November 24, 2025 at 5:11 PM
PSA: If you need to make some room before Thanksgiving, or find things have slowed down too much after eating a massive pile of brown food: try triphala fruit powder.
A half teaspoon in your yogurt and you’ll be moving in an hour.
A full teaspoon and you’ll need to cancel your plans for the day.
A half teaspoon in your yogurt and you’ll be moving in an hour.
A full teaspoon and you’ll need to cancel your plans for the day.
To be good at cooking something, you have to do it regularly—not once a year.
Also, perfectly cooked Turkey still isn’t that great.
Cook something else: salmon, and standing rib roast, even chicken… save yourself the hassle and enjoy the meal more.
Also, perfectly cooked Turkey still isn’t that great.
Cook something else: salmon, and standing rib roast, even chicken… save yourself the hassle and enjoy the meal more.
If we're doing Thanksgiving takes, here's mine.
Fried turkey is only marginally better, If at all, then a regularly cooked turkey. It's not worth the hassle or the risk.
Fried turkey is only marginally better, If at all, then a regularly cooked turkey. It's not worth the hassle or the risk.
November 24, 2025 at 4:45 PM
To be good at cooking something, you have to do it regularly—not once a year.
Also, perfectly cooked Turkey still isn’t that great.
Cook something else: salmon, and standing rib roast, even chicken… save yourself the hassle and enjoy the meal more.
Also, perfectly cooked Turkey still isn’t that great.
Cook something else: salmon, and standing rib roast, even chicken… save yourself the hassle and enjoy the meal more.
Reposted by Marzipandancer
November 23, 2025 at 9:48 PM
Reposted by Marzipandancer
“I will do it tomorrow,” said Toad. “Today I will take life easy.”
November 23, 2025 at 2:37 AM
“I will do it tomorrow,” said Toad. “Today I will take life easy.”
I….
there aren’t enough words to articulate how funny this is
November 21, 2025 at 11:49 PM
I….
One of the top learnings from 2025 is that we already have a word for learnings that doesn’t sound anywhere near as stupid: lessons.
Just say lessons.
Just say lessons.
November 21, 2025 at 5:09 PM
One of the top learnings from 2025 is that we already have a word for learnings that doesn’t sound anywhere near as stupid: lessons.
Just say lessons.
Just say lessons.
BREAKING: The word breaking has lost all meaning.
November 21, 2025 at 4:49 PM
BREAKING: The word breaking has lost all meaning.
Reposted by Marzipandancer
We interviewed Hitler about the rise of Nazism.
Republicans are at odds about how to handle the white-nationalist influencer Nick Fuentes’s encroachment into their ranks, @alibreland.bsky.social writes. He asked Fuentes about being the center of a crisis in American conservatism:
The Nick Fuentes Spiral
The reckoning with the white-nationalist influencer’s rise is only getting messier.
bit.ly
November 15, 2025 at 3:50 PM
We interviewed Hitler about the rise of Nazism.