Dave Hemming
@oracular.bsky.social
If you have 100 million pounds you can literally do anything you want from now until the day you die and still have more than you started with. Pass a bill that anyone with more than that is clearly mentally ill and should be forcibly committed and their assets above that applied to others care.
December 21, 2025 at 7:18 PM
If you have 100 million pounds you can literally do anything you want from now until the day you die and still have more than you started with. Pass a bill that anyone with more than that is clearly mentally ill and should be forcibly committed and their assets above that applied to others care.
I miss the days when I could connect my Google phone to my Windows PC and transfer files via USB. They don't let you do that any more, as far as I can tell. You have to do 100kb/s bluetooth transfers instead because fuck you. And yes, I've done all the 14 things it says to do when you google. Nope.
December 19, 2025 at 11:19 PM
I miss the days when I could connect my Google phone to my Windows PC and transfer files via USB. They don't let you do that any more, as far as I can tell. You have to do 100kb/s bluetooth transfers instead because fuck you. And yes, I've done all the 14 things it says to do when you google. Nope.
Reposted by Dave Hemming
Here are the 28 Dem Senators who voted to advance the first federal ban on trans athletes & a federal definition of sex that would make trans & intersex people non-existent: Angela Alsobrooks (MD), Tammy Baldwin (WI), Richard Blumenthal (CT), Lisa Blunt Rochester (DE), Chris Coons (DE), ->
By a vote of 76-23, S 1071 passes the motion to proceed to the motion to concur. Won't know who voted for this until the roll call is uploaded, but safe to say it passed with the support of at least 24 members of the Democratic caucus. (Rand Paul probably voted nay and Steve Daines has been absent).
December 11, 2025 at 8:25 PM
Here are the 28 Dem Senators who voted to advance the first federal ban on trans athletes & a federal definition of sex that would make trans & intersex people non-existent: Angela Alsobrooks (MD), Tammy Baldwin (WI), Richard Blumenthal (CT), Lisa Blunt Rochester (DE), Chris Coons (DE), ->
We have 2 microchip cat feeders mostly so the neighbour cats don't eat their food but also so we know if one isn't eating. The dumb one always sits at the other one's feeder for ages before giving up and trying hers. Now the smart one has started sitting at the dumb one's. They're messing with me.
December 16, 2025 at 7:06 PM
We have 2 microchip cat feeders mostly so the neighbour cats don't eat their food but also so we know if one isn't eating. The dumb one always sits at the other one's feeder for ages before giving up and trying hers. Now the smart one has started sitting at the dumb one's. They're messing with me.
CTO in latest meeting: "I know people hang on to specific words I say and go, 'oh that means this' or 'it means that' - it doesn't mean anything."
Not sure he meant to be that honest about senior management briefings.
Not sure he meant to be that honest about senior management briefings.
December 16, 2025 at 1:50 PM
CTO in latest meeting: "I know people hang on to specific words I say and go, 'oh that means this' or 'it means that' - it doesn't mean anything."
Not sure he meant to be that honest about senior management briefings.
Not sure he meant to be that honest about senior management briefings.
Reposted by Dave Hemming
Quoted here we have Sharron Davies talking about an FoI filed by the Women's Rights Network.
None of the people who committed these crimes were trans. Not one.
4.8% were cis male staff.
None of the people who committed these crimes were trans. Not one.
4.8% were cis male staff.
December 10, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Quoted here we have Sharron Davies talking about an FoI filed by the Women's Rights Network.
None of the people who committed these crimes were trans. Not one.
4.8% were cis male staff.
None of the people who committed these crimes were trans. Not one.
4.8% were cis male staff.
"Anyone who missed the call on code security needs to complete this online course on Data."
"What if I was on the call but playing Candy Crush on my phone instead of paying attention?"
"What if I was on the call but playing Candy Crush on my phone instead of paying attention?"
December 10, 2025 at 10:49 AM
"Anyone who missed the call on code security needs to complete this online course on Data."
"What if I was on the call but playing Candy Crush on my phone instead of paying attention?"
"What if I was on the call but playing Candy Crush on my phone instead of paying attention?"
Reposted by Dave Hemming
“I bring you fun”
“I bring you sunshine”
“I bring you love”
The Three Morecambe and Wise Men.
“I bring you sunshine”
“I bring you love”
The Three Morecambe and Wise Men.
December 9, 2025 at 6:58 AM
“I bring you fun”
“I bring you sunshine”
“I bring you love”
The Three Morecambe and Wise Men.
“I bring you sunshine”
“I bring you love”
The Three Morecambe and Wise Men.
My mother-in-law has dementia and while she was over for Sunday dinner we watched Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Fishing. She can't remember what we talked about 5 minutes ago but she knew Teddy's the dog and Bob's the novice and it's telly she can enjoy. Wonderful. www.mortimerandwhitehouse.co.uk
Mortimer And Whitehouse Gone Fishing | Mortimer And Whitehouse
BB2 Mortimer and Whitehouse: Gone Fishing, Bob Mortimer and Paul Whitehouse mortimerandwhitehouse.co.uk
www.mortimerandwhitehouse.co.uk
December 8, 2025 at 1:02 PM
My mother-in-law has dementia and while she was over for Sunday dinner we watched Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Fishing. She can't remember what we talked about 5 minutes ago but she knew Teddy's the dog and Bob's the novice and it's telly she can enjoy. Wonderful. www.mortimerandwhitehouse.co.uk
Watching Mortimer and Whitehouse Go Fishing always increases the "love you" to and from my spouse cos they're lovely blokes
December 5, 2025 at 12:20 AM
Watching Mortimer and Whitehouse Go Fishing always increases the "love you" to and from my spouse cos they're lovely blokes
Reposted by Dave Hemming
Not rude things, a thread:
December 1, 2025 at 11:45 AM
Not rude things, a thread:
If there is an afterlife, some people still won't go anywhere because there's just nothing inside them.
We should stop putting those people in charge of shit.
We should stop putting those people in charge of shit.
November 26, 2025 at 9:09 PM
If there is an afterlife, some people still won't go anywhere because there's just nothing inside them.
We should stop putting those people in charge of shit.
We should stop putting those people in charge of shit.
Remember, being truthful in a relationship is important.
Her: What, do you think there's a washing fairy that does all your washing for you?
Me: Well... Yeah.
Her: What, do you think there's a washing fairy that does all your washing for you?
Me: Well... Yeah.
a man in a red and white striped shirt is saying no no not like that
ALT: a man in a red and white striped shirt is saying no no not like that
media.tenor.com
November 20, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Remember, being truthful in a relationship is important.
Her: What, do you think there's a washing fairy that does all your washing for you?
Me: Well... Yeah.
Her: What, do you think there's a washing fairy that does all your washing for you?
Me: Well... Yeah.
*chef's kiss* 10/10 no notes
November 18, 2025 at 4:30 PM
*chef's kiss* 10/10 no notes
Takes all the benefits of living in the UK and as soon as he has to give back he fucks off. Deep down he knows that even the people he calls friends despise him.
🗣️ "I’m worth £780m at 37 — and I’m leaving Britain for Dubai"
Herman Narula, founder of Improbable, doubts he’ll be the last tech entrepreneur to depart
Herman Narula, founder of Improbable, doubts he’ll be the last tech entrepreneur to depart
I’m worth £780m at 37 — and I’m leaving Britain for Dubai
Herman Narula, founder of Improbable, doubts he’ll be the last tech entrepreneur to leave the UK
www.thetimes.com
November 16, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Takes all the benefits of living in the UK and as soon as he has to give back he fucks off. Deep down he knows that even the people he calls friends despise him.
Reposted by Dave Hemming
I haven't seen New York this happy since the Ghostbusters defeated Gozer.
November 5, 2025 at 6:43 AM
I haven't seen New York this happy since the Ghostbusters defeated Gozer.
Reposted by Dave Hemming
every sports team is a Ship of Theseus
October 25, 2025 at 9:16 PM
every sports team is a Ship of Theseus
Reposted by Dave Hemming
Higgledy piggledy
Timothée Chalamet
Has a name meriting
Endless design
Much like his forerunner
Benedict Cumberbatch:
Hexasyllabically,
Easy to rhyme
Timothée Chalamet
Has a name meriting
Endless design
Much like his forerunner
Benedict Cumberbatch:
Hexasyllabically,
Easy to rhyme
October 9, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Higgledy piggledy
Timothée Chalamet
Has a name meriting
Endless design
Much like his forerunner
Benedict Cumberbatch:
Hexasyllabically,
Easy to rhyme
Timothée Chalamet
Has a name meriting
Endless design
Much like his forerunner
Benedict Cumberbatch:
Hexasyllabically,
Easy to rhyme
Reposted by Dave Hemming
In honor of National Poetry Day, the greatest parody rewrite of all time:
October 2, 2025 at 3:17 PM
In honor of National Poetry Day, the greatest parody rewrite of all time:
Reposted by Dave Hemming
ADL *AGAIN* bends over backwards for Nazis, erasing a resource and database to appease antisemitic scum:
October 1, 2025 at 1:05 AM
ADL *AGAIN* bends over backwards for Nazis, erasing a resource and database to appease antisemitic scum:
Reposted by Dave Hemming
(solemnly) You've had mail.
September 30, 2025 at 7:43 PM
(solemnly) You've had mail.
Reposted by Dave Hemming
And this is Batman's Aff His Nut by Robert Florence, which, in my opinion, is easily the greatest Scottish poem ever written about Batman...
October 3, 2024 at 2:11 PM
And this is Batman's Aff His Nut by Robert Florence, which, in my opinion, is easily the greatest Scottish poem ever written about Batman...
Reposted by Dave Hemming
Dutch late night TV has its take
September 19, 2025 at 2:39 PM
Dutch late night TV has its take