Dave B
@performing-monkey.bsky.social
Web developer, cat parent, couch potato
December 12, 2025 at 3:02 PM
This looks like the schlock Paddington horror film we will inevitably get when the character hits the public domain
“Paddington’s iconic red bucket hat has been replaced with an off-character red-and-yellow gibus. His trusty blue duffel coat with toggle buttons is a waist-length sweatshirt with white crosses. And the beloved bear’s earnest, cheery smile is now a humourless maw.”
THAT’S how you write the news.
THAT’S how you write the news.
'Paddington Bear costume to cheer up my son is a horror show,' says Sheffield mum
A Sheffield mum is asking for help to fix a “horror show” Paddington Bear costume she ordered to cheer up her disabled son.
www.thestar.co.uk
December 11, 2025 at 9:54 AM
This looks like the schlock Paddington horror film we will inevitably get when the character hits the public domain
Where's Jean-Claude Van Damme when you need him?
What could possibly go wrong in allowing the aristocracy to train their hounds to hunt humans for sport? www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025...
‘Are they going to eat me alive?’: trail runners become prey in newest form of hunting
Nervous reporter is chased across English countryside by baying bloodhounds, in what could soon be only legal way to hunt with dogs
www.theguardian.com
November 16, 2025 at 8:53 AM
Where's Jean-Claude Van Damme when you need him?
Reposted by Dave B
Reposted by Dave B
Happy Stupid Sexy Partially Muscled Skeleton Stands By The Perimeter Fence And Screams For Thirty Seconds Before Vanishing day to all those who celebrate it!
November 14, 2024 at 9:05 AM
Happy Stupid Sexy Partially Muscled Skeleton Stands By The Perimeter Fence And Screams For Thirty Seconds Before Vanishing day to all those who celebrate it!
Reposted by Dave B
![[Scene is a kitchen - a middle aged woman called JANET is boiling peas at the stove. A younger more colourfully dressed woman named LIZ approached her.]
JANET:
Ugh...
LIZ:
What's up?
JANET:
I am so bored of cooking peas!
LIZ:
Have you tried...
AI peas?
JANET:
AI peas?
LIZ:
They're peas with AI!
[Liz holds up to us a packet of peas labelled: Pea-i AI - Peas with AI].
LIZ:
Al-powered peas harness the potential of your peas
JANET:
What
LIZ [Now a voiceover as we cut to a whizzy technology diagram of peas all connected by meaningless dotted lines]
Why not take your peas to the next level with Al Peas' new Al tools to power your peas?
[Show a techno diagram of a pea with a label reading 'AI' pointing to a random zone in it]
LIZ:
Each pea has Al in a way we haven't quite worked out yet but it's fine
[Show Janet and Liz now in a Matrix-style world of peas]
LIZ:
With Al peas you can supercharge productivity and make AI work for your peas!
JANET:
What
LIZ:
Shut up
LIZ:
Our game-changing Pea-Al gives you the freedom to unlock the potential of the power of the future of your peas workflow
From opening the bag of peas
to boiling the peas
to eating the peas
To spending millions on adding Al to the peas and then having to work out what that even means.
JANET:
Is it really necessary to-
LIZ [Grabbing Janet by the collar]:
THE PEAS HAVE GOT AI, JANET
[Cut to an advert ending screen, with the bag of peas and the slogan:
AI PEAS: Just 'Peas' for god's sake buy the AI peas.
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiayqa37f7kik7l7s7fbtfp2sir5ckb662ry2lylinyjrfa2rkvvka@jpeg)
Reposted by Dave B
Reposted by Dave B
Explain a film plot badly:
November 6, 2025 at 6:13 PM
Explain a film plot badly:
Reposted by Dave B
Annihilation (2018, dir. Alex Garland)
You might enjoy my town's poppy zombie man, he comes every year
November 4, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Annihilation (2018, dir. Alex Garland)
Ugh, fireworks nonces have started already
October 31, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Ugh, fireworks nonces have started already
Reposted by Dave B
"They've got rid of the element of the RTD/Disney partnership that was out of ideas and flailing through lore while fumbling basic storytelling and holding Doctor Who back?"
October 29, 2025 at 8:32 AM
"They've got rid of the element of the RTD/Disney partnership that was out of ideas and flailing through lore while fumbling basic storytelling and holding Doctor Who back?"
Reposted by Dave B
🎶Here we come, walking down the street, spreading herpes and Covid, to everyone we meet. Hey, hey we’re the monkeys, who escaped from a truck, everyone would be panicked if the world wasn’t already fucked🎶
BREAKING | Truck hauling monkeys carrying hepatitis C, herpes and Covid overturns in Mississippi
Truck hauling monkeys carrying hepatitis C, herpes and Covid overturns in Mississippi
www.independent.co.uk
October 29, 2025 at 6:50 AM
🎶Here we come, walking down the street, spreading herpes and Covid, to everyone we meet. Hey, hey we’re the monkeys, who escaped from a truck, everyone would be panicked if the world wasn’t already fucked🎶
Reposted by Dave B
Reposted by Dave B
Reposted by Dave B
Reposted by Dave B
'The Fog'
(Dir. John Carpenter - 1980)
(Dir. John Carpenter - 1980)
October 21, 2025 at 6:46 AM
'The Fog'
(Dir. John Carpenter - 1980)
(Dir. John Carpenter - 1980)
Continued my John Carpenter October with a rewatch of Prince of Darkness and In the Mouth of Madness. Glorious. #FilmSky
a man is sitting in a theater eating popcorn and smiling
ALT: a man is sitting in a theater eating popcorn and smiling
media.tenor.com
October 18, 2025 at 11:53 PM
Continued my John Carpenter October with a rewatch of Prince of Darkness and In the Mouth of Madness. Glorious. #FilmSky
Reposted by Dave B
"It's not dead. It's just 21 episodes down into a 26-episode run. At some point after that, decisions will be made. That's a cast-iron guarantee, that is."
October 17, 2025 at 4:49 PM
"It's not dead. It's just 21 episodes down into a 26-episode run. At some point after that, decisions will be made. That's a cast-iron guarantee, that is."
Reposted by Dave B
Of course woman don’t like the cybertruck.
Woman only want one thing and it’s the TIE Defender, with 4 Laser Cannons, 2 Ion Cannons, 144 MGLT engines and 100 SBD shields.
Woman only want one thing and it’s the TIE Defender, with 4 Laser Cannons, 2 Ion Cannons, 144 MGLT engines and 100 SBD shields.
October 17, 2025 at 10:43 PM
Of course woman don’t like the cybertruck.
Woman only want one thing and it’s the TIE Defender, with 4 Laser Cannons, 2 Ion Cannons, 144 MGLT engines and 100 SBD shields.
Woman only want one thing and it’s the TIE Defender, with 4 Laser Cannons, 2 Ion Cannons, 144 MGLT engines and 100 SBD shields.
Very much not helping my feelings of not being arsed.
The official runtimes for the first 4 episodes of ‘STRANGER THINGS’ Season 5 have been revealed:
E1 — 68 min
E2 — 54 min
E3 — 66 min
E4 — 83 min
E1 — 68 min
E2 — 54 min
E3 — 66 min
E4 — 83 min
October 14, 2025 at 7:33 AM
Very much not helping my feelings of not being arsed.