Klas Holmlund
@santaklas.bsky.social
I am a creative swiss-army knife of digital skills who loves company and creating communities.
Reposted by Klas Holmlund
911: what is your emergency
ME: i broke my hand
911: please hold
ME: did you not hear what i just said
ME: i broke my hand
911: please hold
ME: did you not hear what i just said
February 3, 2025 at 10:49 PM
911: what is your emergency
ME: i broke my hand
911: please hold
ME: did you not hear what i just said
ME: i broke my hand
911: please hold
ME: did you not hear what i just said
Reposted by Klas Holmlund
oh shit new logo just dropped
January 8, 2025 at 12:35 AM
oh shit new logo just dropped
Reposted by Klas Holmlund
now, I am become sleepy, the honker of shoos
December 29, 2024 at 4:39 AM
now, I am become sleepy, the honker of shoos
Reposted by Klas Holmlund
[running into my ex]
ex: omg it’s you
me: yeah
ex: we should exchange numbers
me: i don’t think that’s a good idea
ex: you backed into my car though
me: look we’ve both moved on
ex: omg it’s you
me: yeah
ex: we should exchange numbers
me: i don’t think that’s a good idea
ex: you backed into my car though
me: look we’ve both moved on
December 27, 2024 at 11:03 PM
[running into my ex]
ex: omg it’s you
me: yeah
ex: we should exchange numbers
me: i don’t think that’s a good idea
ex: you backed into my car though
me: look we’ve both moved on
ex: omg it’s you
me: yeah
ex: we should exchange numbers
me: i don’t think that’s a good idea
ex: you backed into my car though
me: look we’ve both moved on
Reposted by Klas Holmlund
priest: I now pronounce you man and wife
me: why? it doesn’t even have any of those letters in it
priest: what
my bride: *giggling* well it’s true
me: why? it doesn’t even have any of those letters in it
priest: what
my bride: *giggling* well it’s true
December 28, 2024 at 2:54 PM
priest: I now pronounce you man and wife
me: why? it doesn’t even have any of those letters in it
priest: what
my bride: *giggling* well it’s true
me: why? it doesn’t even have any of those letters in it
priest: what
my bride: *giggling* well it’s true
Reposted by Klas Holmlund
Mushroom spore landing in my lungs: I eat?
My immune system: no not right now he’s still alive
Mushroom spore: ok i wait
My immune system: no not right now he’s still alive
Mushroom spore: ok i wait
December 28, 2024 at 2:00 PM
Mushroom spore landing in my lungs: I eat?
My immune system: no not right now he’s still alive
Mushroom spore: ok i wait
My immune system: no not right now he’s still alive
Mushroom spore: ok i wait
Reposted by Klas Holmlund
Interviewer: According to your resume, you’re one of the greatest fiction writers the world has ever known
Me: Yes, I wrote that
Me: Yes, I wrote that
December 27, 2024 at 5:22 AM
Interviewer: According to your resume, you’re one of the greatest fiction writers the world has ever known
Me: Yes, I wrote that
Me: Yes, I wrote that
Reposted by Klas Holmlund
“License and registration please”
I’m Santa Claus
“yeah? what’s your wife’s first name”
I uh…
“Sir step out of the sleigh"
I’m Santa Claus
“yeah? what’s your wife’s first name”
I uh…
“Sir step out of the sleigh"
December 16, 2024 at 2:16 AM
“License and registration please”
I’m Santa Claus
“yeah? what’s your wife’s first name”
I uh…
“Sir step out of the sleigh"
I’m Santa Claus
“yeah? what’s your wife’s first name”
I uh…
“Sir step out of the sleigh"
Reposted by Klas Holmlund
[playing poker]
FRIEND: I’m all in
ME: [yearning for this type of commitment since we first met] me too, man, I’m all in too
FRIEND: um, a pair of kings
ME: you bet we are
FRIEND: I’m all in
ME: [yearning for this type of commitment since we first met] me too, man, I’m all in too
FRIEND: um, a pair of kings
ME: you bet we are
December 17, 2024 at 11:08 PM
[playing poker]
FRIEND: I’m all in
ME: [yearning for this type of commitment since we first met] me too, man, I’m all in too
FRIEND: um, a pair of kings
ME: you bet we are
FRIEND: I’m all in
ME: [yearning for this type of commitment since we first met] me too, man, I’m all in too
FRIEND: um, a pair of kings
ME: you bet we are
Reposted by Klas Holmlund
sure, everybody hates snake oil — until their snake starts squeaking
December 15, 2024 at 1:04 PM
sure, everybody hates snake oil — until their snake starts squeaking
Reposted by Klas Holmlund
starbucks barista: order for cathy lou
cthulhu: (visibly incensed) i guess that's me
cthulhu: (visibly incensed) i guess that's me
October 24, 2024 at 4:39 PM
starbucks barista: order for cathy lou
cthulhu: (visibly incensed) i guess that's me
cthulhu: (visibly incensed) i guess that's me
Reposted by Klas Holmlund
I accidentally said HAIL SANTA instead of HAIL SATAN at satanic church today and now everyone is laughing at me and they took away my robes
December 14, 2024 at 11:13 PM
I accidentally said HAIL SANTA instead of HAIL SATAN at satanic church today and now everyone is laughing at me and they took away my robes
Being here makes me feel like finding a long lost friend
December 12, 2024 at 9:18 AM
Being here makes me feel like finding a long lost friend
Det var en ful ankunge.
December 11, 2024 at 8:59 PM
Det var en ful ankunge.
Horrible curse. Happens to me every single day.
December 7, 2024 at 4:27 PM
Horrible curse. Happens to me every single day.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_nt... Glad första advent! Klas Julsaga i animeversion. Ska jag göra den?
Klas Christmas Tale - Anime version trailer
YouTube video by Klas Holmlund
www.youtube.com
December 1, 2024 at 4:24 PM
www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_nt... Glad första advent! Klas Julsaga i animeversion. Ska jag göra den?
Reposted by Klas Holmlund
the worst part of getting fired from the unemployment office is still having to go in the next day
November 30, 2024 at 12:03 PM
the worst part of getting fired from the unemployment office is still having to go in the next day
Reposted by Klas Holmlund
"nobody gives a shit" i agree a shit is a terrible gift
December 1, 2024 at 2:15 AM
"nobody gives a shit" i agree a shit is a terrible gift
Reposted by Klas Holmlund
Me: never assume
Wife: because it makes an ass of u and me?
Me: what did i just say diane
Wife: because it makes an ass of u and me?
Me: what did i just say diane
April 28, 2024 at 7:24 PM
Me: never assume
Wife: because it makes an ass of u and me?
Me: what did i just say diane
Wife: because it makes an ass of u and me?
Me: what did i just say diane
Reposted by Klas Holmlund
Math problem. I have three apples and am traveling towards you at 17mph. It's not really a problem, more of a warning. Apple time, bitches.
November 22, 2024 at 5:09 AM
Math problem. I have three apples and am traveling towards you at 17mph. It's not really a problem, more of a warning. Apple time, bitches.
Reposted by Klas Holmlund
Doctor: do you exercise?
Me: oh yeah I do all of them, the push-offs, plonks
Doctor:
Me: cronchies
Doctor: I'm gonna put no
Me: ok
Me: oh yeah I do all of them, the push-offs, plonks
Doctor:
Me: cronchies
Doctor: I'm gonna put no
Me: ok
November 18, 2024 at 2:08 PM
Doctor: do you exercise?
Me: oh yeah I do all of them, the push-offs, plonks
Doctor:
Me: cronchies
Doctor: I'm gonna put no
Me: ok
Me: oh yeah I do all of them, the push-offs, plonks
Doctor:
Me: cronchies
Doctor: I'm gonna put no
Me: ok
Man alive, I love being here. And deleting all my twitter accounts feels divine.
November 18, 2024 at 10:48 AM
Man alive, I love being here. And deleting all my twitter accounts feels divine.
Reposted by Klas Holmlund
Me, babysitting: *rings the parents* we have a problem. I picked up your son David from school and he seems freaked out
Her: my son is Robert
Me: we have 2 problems
Her: my son is Robert
Me: we have 2 problems
May 10, 2023 at 12:29 PM
Me, babysitting: *rings the parents* we have a problem. I picked up your son David from school and he seems freaked out
Her: my son is Robert
Me: we have 2 problems
Her: my son is Robert
Me: we have 2 problems