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Swim Jeans 👖

@shortsleevesuit.bsky.social

12K followers 400 following 1.1K posts

Pilot. Mancub. Liar. 🍸🤘 header by the great Marf Salvador avi by @frovo.bsky.social He/Him 👉: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:bmvl67povgevf645aj6vfpje/feed/aaab5d3sxupgm

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · Dec 6

PRIEST: do you have the ring

ME: *still staring into my fiancé’s eyes* yes on dvd

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 13m

a man in a batman costume is smiling and adjusting his mask

ALT: a man in a batman costume is smiling and adjusting his mask

media.tenor.com

Reposted by Swim Jeans 👖

Cap’n Watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · Aug 14

Overdoing “on the other hand” alternatives for dinner to impress my octopus date

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 23h

a man in a blue sweater is standing in front of a group of people .

ALT: a man in a blue sweater is standing in front of a group of people .

media.tenor.com

Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 1d

DOCTOR: we found drugs in your system

ME: is there anything you can do

DOCTOR: no you did them all

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Reposted by Swim Jeans 👖

kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 1d

waiter: would you like some capers with your pasta

batman: what

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Reposted by Swim Jeans 👖

FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 1d

*quietly beatboxing while the judge delivers my sentence

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Reposted by Swim Jeans 👖

Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 1d

yes, but he still has to sound out some of the longer words

TV screen shot of skier with lower third reading “CAN ERIK READ.”

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 2d

Life level - more anxiety than a crip at a blood drive

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Reposted by Swim Jeans 👖

donni saphire @donni.bsky.social · May 3

You basically just have to babysit yourself for your entire life

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Reposted by Swim Jeans 👖

Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 3d

[giving treats to dog]
thank you for not being people

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 3d

WHOMST?!?!

1 1

Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 3d

AND HOW IS IT?

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 3d

the man is wearing a suit and tie and clapping his hands .

ALT: the man is wearing a suit and tie and clapping his hands .

media.tenor.com

Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 4d

What is even happening?

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 5d

a man wearing sunglasses is looking down at something .

ALT: a man wearing sunglasses is looking down at something .

media.tenor.com

Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 5d

*googles “beginner butt plugs” on your work computer*

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Reposted by Swim Jeans 👖

Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 5d

Yes I'm still watching, Netflix, and it's not like you don't have things to be ashamed of.

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 5d

a man with glasses and a mustache is wearing a white polo shirt and making a funny face .

ALT: a man with glasses and a mustache is wearing a white polo shirt and making a funny face .

media.tenor.com

Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 6d

a black and white photo of a man in a vest and white shirt .

ALT: a black and white photo of a man in a vest and white shirt .

media.tenor.com

Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 6d

When I find myself in times of trouble bob the grocer comes to me speaking words of wisdom ᴬᴵˢᴸᴱ ᵀᴴᴿᴱᴱ

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Reposted by Swim Jeans 👖

Kristi Yamaguccimane @wapplehouse.bsky.social · 6d

It’s 2037 and my microwave is prompting me to download the Hot Pocket Plus Pass for $9.99 a month

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Reposted by Swim Jeans 👖

Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 7d

no way i’m falling for this a third time

Sign reads “Parking for BJ’s in rear of building.”

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 7d

Your brain is insanity and that’s why we love you

-my family
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 7d

ME [being held accountable for committing several dozen crimes ranging from lightly unethical to heavy-duty really bad ones]: THIS IS A POLITICAL WITCHHUNT

Reposted by Swim Jeans 👖

Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · Dec 22

saw a space station pass through the sky last night which was cool but what was not cool was that I saw a guy looking out of one of the windows and he mouthed “nerd” at me

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