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Jack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 17h

I hope America lasts another 6 months because I JUST FUCKING GOT NINE INCH NAILS TICKETS 🤘

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mindi @flawdbizkit.bsky.social · 14h

❤️

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 13h

Saying more by saying less. Spaghetti.

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Matt-o-lantern @splat-man.bsky.social · 13h

plot twist, i do not have the skills to pay the bills.

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Daisy @daisy91.bsky.social · 14h

Gives you a hug and whispers kiss my ass.

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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 21h

It's sad how people expect change without actually changing anything. It's me, I'm people.

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[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 18h

Mr. Speaker is it a good idea for humans to have sex with chimpanzees?

Speaker: I’m not the zoologist so I’m not following that day-to-day

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 18h

My favorite things to lose and then buy more of and then lose again and then buy more until I suddenly find all of them at once are:
(in no particular order)
-chapstick
-nail clippers
-pocket knives
-scissors

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WineMummy @winemummy.bsky.social · 17h

Fucker (flirting)

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Reverie 💀🕯️ @augustreverie.bsky.social · 17h

I dreamed that I joined Mastodon with a typo in my username. I won’t be joining, but this is the nonsense you guys cause for me

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Ahhhhh @nerdjpg.com · 19h

Welcome to the capitalist innovation museum we got

- scam machine
- psychosis inducing machine
- weapons of mass destruction
- button you push that makes the planet hotter
- markets that intentionally starve people
- clothes that fall apart after washing them 1 time
- medicine you can’t afford

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 20h

*doing shots of Mountain Dew

Still punk as fuck.

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T @mamafirefly.bsky.social · 20h

good morning to cats only

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Jooli-AHH! Ghoulia 🎃🍂🔪 @jooliaghoulia.bsky.social · 20h

Living the scream

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Gypsiboo 🔮🦇 @gypsican.bsky.social · 20h

You heard it here first folks, we’re not gonna get to retire. Be lazy now.

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mindi @flawdbizkit.bsky.social · 22h

I'll meep you so hard, you'll call me beaker

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Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️ @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 20h

when do we start eating the billionaires
I’ve got a new hot sauce I wanna try

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 1d

Making it harder to talk about suicide makes is harder for people who are struggling with suicidal ideation to find the support and resources they need to make it through their struggles alive.

Leen McBeans 🦇 @leenmcbeans.bsky.social · 2d

Banning language like “suicide” or “rape” only helps soften the language and perpetuate the actual issue

Kids should know what rape is. Calling it “nonconsensual sex” is absolutely 1000% worse. Fuck right off with that bs

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WineMummy @winemummy.bsky.social · 1d

Happy taco and tits day to all those who celebrate.

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Matt-o-lantern @splat-man.bsky.social · 1d

having to look up the definition of words is already humiliating enough 🤦

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 1d

People who tell me to “enjoy life” are overestimating the breadth of my masochism

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 1d

If exercise is so good for me then why does it make all my stuff so sore? Seems like a scam

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 1d

How to interpret my stalking:

Men- if I haven’t creepily liked most of your selfies, I’m probably not all that interested

Women- if I haven’t creepily liked most of your selfies, I’m probably just trying to not be a creep

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 1d

I only make typos to blend in with the regular mortals

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Reverie 💀🕯️ @augustreverie.bsky.social · 1d

“You know way too much about me” is a statement I’ve heard often. I want to know all the personal things all the time, keep that info coming

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