Tortoiseguy!
@tortoiseguy.bsky.social
writer, sometimes. beast of mud and muck, most other times.
Reposted by Tortoiseguy!
Reposted by Tortoiseguy!
The music of Seinfeld, divorced from the show itself, is nothing short of disgusting. Imagine if the show didn’t exist but the music somehow did. Hearing it, your face would twist in angry revulsion
May 18, 2025 at 3:10 AM
The music of Seinfeld, divorced from the show itself, is nothing short of disgusting. Imagine if the show didn’t exist but the music somehow did. Hearing it, your face would twist in angry revulsion
hard to get emotionally invested in the idea of cassian andor and bix having a son cuz i know they named that poor fuckin kid something stupid like Jervik or Plix.
May 17, 2025 at 6:13 PM
hard to get emotionally invested in the idea of cassian andor and bix having a son cuz i know they named that poor fuckin kid something stupid like Jervik or Plix.
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the healing power of going "man, who gives a shitt" and moving on
If you’re over 30, quote this with some life advice 🤌🏼
May 16, 2025 at 12:46 AM
the healing power of going "man, who gives a shitt" and moving on
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you say your cause is just but why’s your fireball dark purple bro. what’s up with that bro
April 29, 2025 at 7:19 PM
you say your cause is just but why’s your fireball dark purple bro. what’s up with that bro
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i just want to put them in a banjo-kazooie situation
April 23, 2025 at 3:32 PM
i just want to put them in a banjo-kazooie situation
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JESUS CHRIST (ninth hour): Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?
GOOFY (present at the crucifixion): Gawrsh
GOOFY (present at the crucifixion): Gawrsh
September 20, 2023 at 6:48 PM
JESUS CHRIST (ninth hour): Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?
GOOFY (present at the crucifixion): Gawrsh
GOOFY (present at the crucifixion): Gawrsh
Reposted by Tortoiseguy!
not many people know this, but every microwave hosts a fraction of the divine presence and if your food is cold in the middle it's because your soul is too full of desire ☝️
April 11, 2025 at 10:25 PM
not many people know this, but every microwave hosts a fraction of the divine presence and if your food is cold in the middle it's because your soul is too full of desire ☝️
Reposted by Tortoiseguy!
an american hamburger would be considered such a treat by the humble velociraptor
March 23, 2025 at 1:16 AM
an american hamburger would be considered such a treat by the humble velociraptor
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Dude, what the FUCK is going on in this Netflix OJ Simpson docuseries?
February 19, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Dude, what the FUCK is going on in this Netflix OJ Simpson docuseries?
Reposted by Tortoiseguy!
Reposted by Tortoiseguy!
[living on a rock that is moving through an infinite space at sixty seven thousand miles an hour] what should we have for dinner
December 15, 2024 at 7:33 PM
[living on a rock that is moving through an infinite space at sixty seven thousand miles an hour] what should we have for dinner
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My fellow Canadians! Did you know our trans friends in the US can't seek asylum in Canada despite their lives being in danger in their home country right now? Welp there is a petition you can sign to help change that! www.momentumcanada.net/pathways?rec...
Sign the petition: Canada must update travel guidance and create clear, accessible pathways for trans refugees
Sign the petition: Sign the petition: Canada must update travel guidance and create clear, accessible pathways for trans refugees
www.momentumcanada.net
February 2, 2025 at 1:57 AM
My fellow Canadians! Did you know our trans friends in the US can't seek asylum in Canada despite their lives being in danger in their home country right now? Welp there is a petition you can sign to help change that! www.momentumcanada.net/pathways?rec...
i'm sorry that all my posts are related to the grox from spore. being a grox account is not my intention it just happens. i don't even really like the grox,
December 26, 2024 at 6:21 AM
i'm sorry that all my posts are related to the grox from spore. being a grox account is not my intention it just happens. i don't even really like the grox,
might evolve into a brand new species soon maybe. might speciate even. idk. we'll see how we feel
December 16, 2024 at 8:41 PM
might evolve into a brand new species soon maybe. might speciate even. idk. we'll see how we feel
Reposted by Tortoiseguy!
hard to get excited when you see some guys building a new house. sure new house, it's cool, but im never gonna go there. when i see them building a new hospital it's awesome. i might die there someday
December 16, 2024 at 5:33 PM
hard to get excited when you see some guys building a new house. sure new house, it's cool, but im never gonna go there. when i see them building a new hospital it's awesome. i might die there someday
Reposted by Tortoiseguy!
December 8, 2024 at 5:27 PM
some day i'd love to befriend someone who's unironically into dragons having sex with cars. it'd never need to actually come up in conversation but just knowing it would make me happy
December 3, 2024 at 2:24 AM
some day i'd love to befriend someone who's unironically into dragons having sex with cars. it'd never need to actually come up in conversation but just knowing it would make me happy
wish i had the power to physically morph into a small handheld ball with no hands or legs and have various estranged family members awkwardly and wordlessly play catch with me in the driveway on a chilly early autumn morning
November 28, 2024 at 6:11 PM
wish i had the power to physically morph into a small handheld ball with no hands or legs and have various estranged family members awkwardly and wordlessly play catch with me in the driveway on a chilly early autumn morning
noticing some folks on here that keep getting recommended to me are what i like to call "annoying".
November 17, 2024 at 1:46 AM
noticing some folks on here that keep getting recommended to me are what i like to call "annoying".
i got a starter pack all right........... starter pack of beer !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
November 15, 2024 at 2:34 AM
i got a starter pack all right........... starter pack of beer !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
spore babies (all the spore creatures are babies in kindergarten in this one and the grox is the mean bully toddler)
November 12, 2024 at 8:22 PM
spore babies (all the spore creatures are babies in kindergarten in this one and the grox is the mean bully toddler)
this site is better than twitter because on twitter i get random nazis thrown into my feed whereas on here i get what looked to be kpop dnd AU porn fanfic thrown at me. i don't really wanna see either of those things tbh, but the latter is way funnier at least.
November 7, 2024 at 3:14 AM
this site is better than twitter because on twitter i get random nazis thrown into my feed whereas on here i get what looked to be kpop dnd AU porn fanfic thrown at me. i don't really wanna see either of those things tbh, but the latter is way funnier at least.
spore 2: return of the grox
October 17, 2024 at 4:29 PM
spore 2: return of the grox
if someone were to somehow combine the technologies of a cellular phone and a pez dispenser i think that would speed up the extinction of humanity by at least a few months
August 3, 2024 at 2:20 AM
if someone were to somehow combine the technologies of a cellular phone and a pez dispenser i think that would speed up the extinction of humanity by at least a few months