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Literally

@ummliterally.bsky.social

390 followers 360 following 470 posts

just another great ape All my skeets - https://bsky.app/profile/ummliterally.bsky.social/search Best skeets bc I'm vain: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:nixduwqrwjgbdembbg3xqyzb/feed/aaafyhv3we6vy

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · Mar 26

I can’t believe they have an entire Clinic just for studying Mayo.

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captcha @dopeshow.bsky.social · 7h

Life was simpler when the only choices were missionary and reverse missionary

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Robert Reich @rbreich.bsky.social · 10h

Cartoon by John Deering.

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 9h

I gotta hand it to the ICE protestors in Portland for being geniuses. That footage of a gathering of protestors in the most ridiculous, goofy-looking inflatable costumes makes it look like the most harmless thing ever. Weird people are often geniuses. Keep Portland weird.

Reposted by Literally

AnnaMolly will typo @anna-molly.bsky.social · 10h

*gets a card reader installed in my ass crack

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 10h

Pretty funny joke that the creators of AARP made the acronym sound like someone dying.

Reposted by Literally

Post-it @postlurker2025.bsky.social · 2d

My new favorite expletive is “Holy cheese!!”

Thank you for your attention on this matter

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 13h

Why are fighter jets always scrambled? Sunny side up sounds a lot friendlier.

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 1d

Trump has done infinitely more harm to the planet and everyone on it than creating peace.

Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 1d

Trump is to peace as a nuclear explosion is to preservation.

Reposted by Literally

Μαρια Κιτρινη @greekheanen.bsky.social · 12d

Ordering pizza alone isn't for the weak

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 2d

Alright, how come none of you told me those laser cats skits from SNL back in the day existed??? Peak comedy.

Reposted by Literally

Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 11d

“breast milk” implies that we can milk other body parts

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 2d

What time is it? Jail time.

Reposted by Literally

Dude @defeasance.bsky.social · 2d

when I say
"I need a vacation" I
mean I want to be placed in a terrarium and have someone else be responsible for keeping me alive

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Careful, Jenn Bites 🧛🏻‍♀️🩷🧛🏻‍♀️ @alldolledup44.bsky.social · 2d

💯 Good morning! 🩷

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 2d

Ate some Chipotle and now there is a jet propulsion laboratory in my pants.

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🕷️🕸️emcEEKayvee🕸️🕷️ @emceekayvee.bsky.social · 2d

I shot a Halloween porno. It’s called the Bare Bitch Project.

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 2d

The only good thing about being Stephen Miller is you would have a built-in Voldemort costume every Halloween.

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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 3d

*brings updated terms and conditions to a knife fight*

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Michael Rx @mre.bsky.social · 4d

a drinking establishment for introverts and call it a Speak-easier.

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 3d

Play this on an endless loop for yourself and everyone. Just as true now as in 1940. Someone pointed out that Charlie breaks the fourth wall at one point and stares at the camera because this is how he really felt.

youtu.be/k0CzXi9e66M?...