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Literally

@ummliterally.bsky.social

380 followers 360 following 470 posts

just another great ape All my skeets - https://bsky.app/profile/ummliterally.bsky.social/search Best skeets bc I'm vain: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:nixduwqrwjgbdembbg3xqyzb/feed/aaafyhv3we6vy

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · Mar 26

I can’t believe they have an entire Clinic just for studying Mayo.

Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 5h

Alright, how come none of you told me those laser cats skits from SNL back in the day existed??? Peak comedy.

Reposted by Literally

Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 9d

“breast milk” implies that we can milk other body parts

Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 18h

What time is it? Jail time.

Reposted by Literally

Dude @defeasance.bsky.social · 19h

when I say
"I need a vacation" I
mean I want to be placed in a terrarium and have someone else be responsible for keeping me alive

Reposted by Literally

Careful, Jenn Bites 🧛🏻‍♀️🩷🧛🏻‍♀️ @alldolledup44.bsky.social · 19h

💯 Good morning! 🩷

Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 19h

Ate some Chipotle and now there is a jet propulsion laboratory in my pants.

Reposted by Literally

🕷️🕸️emcEEKayvee🕸️🕷️ @emceekayvee.bsky.social · 1d

I shot a Halloween porno. It’s called the Bare Bitch Project.

Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 19h

The only good thing about being Stephen Miller is you would have a built-in Voldemort costume every Halloween.

Reposted by Literally

Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 1d

*brings updated terms and conditions to a knife fight*

Reposted by Literally

Michael Rx @mre.bsky.social · 2d

a drinking establishment for introverts and call it a Speak-easier.

Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 1d

Play this on an endless loop for yourself and everyone. Just as true now as in 1940. Someone pointed out that Charlie breaks the fourth wall at one point and stares at the camera because this is how he really felt.

youtu.be/k0CzXi9e66M?...

The Dictator’s Speech (Clip) | The Great Dictator (1940) | TCM

YouTube video by Turner Classic Movies

Reposted by Literally

AnnaMolly will typo @anna-molly.bsky.social · 1d

*Brings a first aid kit to a knife fight

Reposted by Literally

Gretchen @wokkax3.bsky.social · 1d

Just moved a doctors appointment back a month to give myself more time to become healthy and/or become a more convincing liar.

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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 1d

It's sad how people expect change without actually changing anything. It's me, I'm people.

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🕷️🕸️emcEEKayvee🕸️🕷️ @emceekayvee.bsky.social · 1d

FUCK YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME

FUCK YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME

FUCK YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME

Truck with “INEDIBLE” on it

Reposted by Literally

Mark Thompson @sonofathomp.bsky.social · 1d

Bondi’s testimony was the most Karening a Karen can Karen.

Reposted by Literally

[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 1d

We’re already doing our first Halloween without Ozzy don’t you fucking dare make us do our first Christmas without Dolly

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[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 1d

Mr. Speaker is it a good idea for humans to have sex with chimpanzees?

Speaker: I’m not the zoologist so I’m not following that day-to-day

Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 1d

This motherfucker

The Verge @theverge.com · May 26

Nick Clegg says asking artists for use permission would ‘kill’ the AI industry

Nick Clegg says asking artists for use permission would ‘kill’ the AI industry

Paul McCartne, Elton John and others signed an open letter.

Reposted by Literally

Gretchen @wokkax3.bsky.social · 2d

My sense of fashion has become warped enough that I consider any outfit without jorts as being “kinda formal.”

Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 1d

*at dry cleaner

Yes, can you hem and crease these jorts please?

Reposted by Literally

Discount Storytime @discountstorytime.com · 2d

Whelp. Maybe I’ll give up on social media entirely and build a treehouse in my backyard.

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RXSarsparilla🎉 @gypsymoon1969.bsky.social · 3d

If I put enough hot sauce in this blue cheese dressing that expired in August, I think I'll be fine.

Reposted by Literally

Kaitlyn @kiixlyn.bsky.social · 16d

i took tylenol while i was autistic and now my son is pregnant

Reposted by Literally

FromRightField @fromrightfield.bsky.social · 1d

Gross if literal: “I’m coming into some money.”