Def. Not Banksy
@user-9.bsky.social
In the Art Biz., Animal Rights Biz., Good Old Grateful Dead
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December 2, 2025 at 10:39 PM
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Stephen King: I've got a new idea for a book
Editor: oh god. what's it about?
Stephen King: a woman
Editor: oh- oh yeah? What kind of woman?
Stephen King: just a normal woman
Editor [breathing sigh of relief]: awesome, so nothing curse-
Stephen King: but her hat is a demon
Editor: oh god. what's it about?
Stephen King: a woman
Editor: oh- oh yeah? What kind of woman?
Stephen King: just a normal woman
Editor [breathing sigh of relief]: awesome, so nothing curse-
Stephen King: but her hat is a demon
November 21, 2025 at 2:18 AM
Stephen King: I've got a new idea for a book
Editor: oh god. what's it about?
Stephen King: a woman
Editor: oh- oh yeah? What kind of woman?
Stephen King: just a normal woman
Editor [breathing sigh of relief]: awesome, so nothing curse-
Stephen King: but her hat is a demon
Editor: oh god. what's it about?
Stephen King: a woman
Editor: oh- oh yeah? What kind of woman?
Stephen King: just a normal woman
Editor [breathing sigh of relief]: awesome, so nothing curse-
Stephen King: but her hat is a demon
Reposted by Def. Not Banksy
y'all ever order your burritos "extra tight"
November 26, 2025 at 11:23 PM
y'all ever order your burritos "extra tight"
RFK Jr. Denies Ever Laying Eggs In Olivia Nuzzi — theonion.com/rfk-jr-denie...
RFK Jr. Denies Ever Laying Eggs In Olivia Nuzzi
WASHINGTON—In an attempt to dispel rumors of an affair during the 2024 presidential campaign, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. held a press conference Monday during which he d...
theonion.com
November 26, 2025 at 10:01 PM
RFK Jr. Denies Ever Laying Eggs In Olivia Nuzzi — theonion.com/rfk-jr-denie...
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Reposted by Def. Not Banksy
I'm always surprised to open a can of evaporated milk and find anything there.
November 23, 2025 at 3:41 PM
I'm always surprised to open a can of evaporated milk and find anything there.
Reposted by Def. Not Banksy
Reposted by Def. Not Banksy
Reposted by Def. Not Banksy
me: you can't take all that candy to school
son: then what do I do with it?
me: you leave it here
son: here? with you?
son: then what do I do with it?
me: you leave it here
son: here? with you?
November 3, 2025 at 6:53 PM
me: you can't take all that candy to school
son: then what do I do with it?
me: you leave it here
son: here? with you?
son: then what do I do with it?
me: you leave it here
son: here? with you?
Reposted by Def. Not Banksy
Basically, the United States ran up until 2024 based on nothing more than the presumption that the administration would not do relentless crimes, and would stop if asked.
November 17, 2025 at 3:52 PM
Basically, the United States ran up until 2024 based on nothing more than the presumption that the administration would not do relentless crimes, and would stop if asked.
Reposted by Def. Not Banksy
“You drive, I’m tired.”
November 16, 2025 at 4:26 PM
“You drive, I’m tired.”
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When you shoot your own puppy and become the head of HLS… 🫢
November 19, 2025 at 8:17 PM
When you shoot your own puppy and become the head of HLS… 🫢
Reposted by Def. Not Banksy
Reposted by Def. Not Banksy
ME: time to sleep
BRAIN: a tutu should be called a four
ME: oh god not this again
BRAIN: or maybe a twenty two
BRAIN: a tutu should be called a four
ME: oh god not this again
BRAIN: or maybe a twenty two
April 15, 2025 at 4:59 AM
ME: time to sleep
BRAIN: a tutu should be called a four
ME: oh god not this again
BRAIN: or maybe a twenty two
BRAIN: a tutu should be called a four
ME: oh god not this again
BRAIN: or maybe a twenty two
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[first day working at 911]
ME: 911 what did you do
ME: 911 what did you do
April 18, 2025 at 3:39 AM
[first day working at 911]
ME: 911 what did you do
ME: 911 what did you do
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If I were a bus driver I would 100% make the doors chomp on people and be like “oh my gosh I’m so sorry he’s just really hungry right now” and then chomp on them again and then get fired
May 19, 2025 at 12:13 PM
If I were a bus driver I would 100% make the doors chomp on people and be like “oh my gosh I’m so sorry he’s just really hungry right now” and then chomp on them again and then get fired
Reposted by Def. Not Banksy
him (a man of wealth and taste): please allow me to introduce myself.
me (puzzled by the nature of his game): woo woo
me (puzzled by the nature of his game): woo woo
May 6, 2023 at 1:54 AM
him (a man of wealth and taste): please allow me to introduce myself.
me (puzzled by the nature of his game): woo woo
me (puzzled by the nature of his game): woo woo
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'SWIMS' upside down is still 'SWIMS.'
June 11, 2025 at 1:32 PM
'SWIMS' upside down is still 'SWIMS.'
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[wedding]
PRIEST: repeat after me
GROOM: after me
PRIEST: ... [to bride] is he serious
BRIDE: no his name is gary
PRIEST: repeat after me
GROOM: after me
PRIEST: ... [to bride] is he serious
BRIDE: no his name is gary
June 17, 2025 at 12:56 AM
[wedding]
PRIEST: repeat after me
GROOM: after me
PRIEST: ... [to bride] is he serious
BRIDE: no his name is gary
PRIEST: repeat after me
GROOM: after me
PRIEST: ... [to bride] is he serious
BRIDE: no his name is gary
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I think any story about Trump's autocracy should be mostly about the people and institutions who failed to stop it. This guy isn't a political genius, everything else just happens to be rotten. 'Toddler Consolidates Power In Household' is a story about incompetent parents, not shrewd maneuvering
October 28, 2025 at 2:07 PM
I think any story about Trump's autocracy should be mostly about the people and institutions who failed to stop it. This guy isn't a political genius, everything else just happens to be rotten. 'Toddler Consolidates Power In Household' is a story about incompetent parents, not shrewd maneuvering
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Pro tip: the elevation in your heart rate due to reading the news counts as exercise
November 6, 2025 at 8:51 PM
Pro tip: the elevation in your heart rate due to reading the news counts as exercise
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I was helping my son with his english homework and I told him that a smidgen was a small pigeon so now I have another meeting with his teacher.
November 3, 2025 at 12:49 PM
I was helping my son with his english homework and I told him that a smidgen was a small pigeon so now I have another meeting with his teacher.
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The Republican "health care plan"
November 3, 2025 at 6:18 PM
The Republican "health care plan"
Reposted by Def. Not Banksy
Reposted by Def. Not Banksy
Chuck Schumer has refused to endorse Zohran Mamdani, and now refuses to even say he’ll vote for him as Mayor. Just a breathtaking new level of cowardice.
Won’t someone please primary this spineless failure of a leader?
Won’t someone please primary this spineless failure of a leader?
November 1, 2025 at 10:38 PM
Chuck Schumer has refused to endorse Zohran Mamdani, and now refuses to even say he’ll vote for him as Mayor. Just a breathtaking new level of cowardice.
Won’t someone please primary this spineless failure of a leader?
Won’t someone please primary this spineless failure of a leader?