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Christina, mother of spiders

@aikiwomannc.bsky.social

9.1K followers 790 following 2.6K posts

I'm not here to be the savior you long for only the one you don't. Part time cryptid Another ADHD fueled hyperfixation will be arriving shortly. Behold my skeets. https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:r7wqaf3fczlnenogrqggrzyr/feed/aaajhzktmzatm

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Christina, mother of spiders @aikiwomannc.bsky.social · Aug 27

CW: loss of parent Yesterday at 3:35pm my mom passed away. My dad and I were with her. No way to fit how wonderful she was in a post. Intelligent, funny, loving, giving, patient, on and on. It was so sad to see her cognitive and physical decline and know we couldn't 1/

youtu.be/FqIACCH20JU?...

Duran Duran - Ordinary World (Official Music Video)

YouTube video by DuranDuranVEVO

Reposted by Christina, mother of spiders

The Bulwark @thebulwark.com · 11h

"They put me on suicide watch and they put me in the cell, I'm naked, in like a hospital dress and just a concrete bed with like a mattress, like a thin mattress and, they leave the light on 24/7."

@timmiller.bsky.social talked to a veteran who ICE wrongly detained and brutalized

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Christina, mother of spiders @aikiwomannc.bsky.social · 27d

Smaug's youngest child moved into the city but could only afford a small one room fly up.

frilled lizard with open mouth in a mailbox

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Leen McBeans 🦇 @leenmcbeans.bsky.social · 18d

One of my favorite fun facts is why the TMNT are named after artists (it’s because the type of turtle they are is a “painted turtle”). I told my nephew about this and he immediately replied that there should be a Bob Ross turtle. So rather than explain the renaissance movement to him, I-

Cartoon drawing of a teenage mutant ninja turtle with a brown afro, like Bob Ross, and a yellow eye band. Labeled “Bob”, an honorary unofficial fifth TMNT. Bob looks like a shy friendly outcast ninja turtle, to be honest. Made for an 8yo boy who made a cute comment ☺️

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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 1d

This morning in carpool, a SUV barrelled up ten minutes early and bypassed the entire thing by using the out lane and dropped off a kid. I never saw such a breach of procedure. As he sped past me on his way out, I looked in his eyes and saw a grandpa that def said, "I am too old for this shit"

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 1d

I tried living the dream but it turned out I was just having the hallucination.

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lisabug @lisabug.bsky.social · 1d

The man next to me has cologne so strong that I’m dizzy with hallucinations, plus all those mushrooms I took.

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RiotGrlErin @riotgrlerin.bsky.social · 1d

muppetized works of art: thread

Big Bird in Vincent van Gogh’s series called Sunflowers.

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 1d

My “beauty sleep” would have to be a lengthy coma.

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S🌟tella @havishaf.bsky.social · 1d

I’ll just migrate from my chair to my bed. That’s enough platform hopping for today.

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bloody bacon popsicle 💤 @gupton68.bsky.social · 1d

My wife and I were once very happy. In fact we both probably smiled pretty much every day right up until the day we met.

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 1d

salt-n-pepa: *nod approvingly*

Several signs on a door instructing to "Push to lock" without turning the lock.

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S🌟tella @havishaf.bsky.social · Apr 18

Once upon a time, there was a plant. It was beautiful and full of life, then someone gave it to me and it died.
The end.

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S🌟tella @havishaf.bsky.social · May 20

In case no one told you today, y̶o̶u̶'̶r̶e̶ I'm beautiful.

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 1d

i don’t have the heart to tell him

A package of teal and brown cookies labeled "Black and White Cookies."

A white dog in a chef's hat in front of a rolling pin.

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bloody bacon popsicle 💤 @gupton68.bsky.social · Feb 6

I’m pretty sure my kids dislike me just the right amount to want to play Coldplay at my funeral but not quite enough to subject themselves to Nickelback.

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 1d

when you totally misread the vibe

A cow leans over a fence and licks the face of a very surprised-looking woman.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 1d

You're beautiful when you're angry at that other guy.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 1d

My posts haven't been good this year or since 2015 really but you caught me at a bad time.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · Oct 10

This day in history. 1991. At a New Jersey post office Joe Harris shot 2 co-workers after killing his supervisor with a sword insisting to reporters "I went Ninja not postal get it right.”

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S🌟tella @havishaf.bsky.social · 20h

What’s wrong with people who actually reach out after you said “feel free to reach out if you need anything”?

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Christina, mother of spiders @aikiwomannc.bsky.social · Feb 11

Time to get my chicken catching skills warmed up.

Image of a middle-aged woman in a prairie style outfit. bonnet, high neck dress with long sleeves, white apron and a chicken under her arm. Other arm has hand on hip. In the background is an "old west" town. Text above says, "Being cute just died". Below it says, "Men are going to want a woman who can catch a chicken now." Below that it says, "Make sure your selfie shows some sort of self-preservation ability".

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Christina, mother of spiders @aikiwomannc.bsky.social · Jun 21

I would have been a terrible Viking because I'd wander off during raids to pet the dogs in the village & my co-workers would keep complaining to Viking HR about me.

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Christina, mother of spiders @aikiwomannc.bsky.social · Aug 6

Freddy: The real treasure is all of the friends we killed along the way.

Jason: That's beautiful.

Leatherface: And the faces we wore.

Michael Meyers: *nods, single tear rolls down mask*

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 3d

DOCTOR: we found drugs in your system

ME: is there anything you can do

DOCTOR: no you did them all

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · Jun 17

Fleetwood Mac: Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies.

Me: Um, OK, if you insist.
The 𝘛𝘶𝘴𝘬 album was a GREAT idea.