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Matt

@coolnessinc.bsky.social

930 followers 240 following 980 posts

He/Him. I live in Indiana, but not like that. I like books and coffee. I’m a cat person, but I’ll still pet your dog. Silly Ideas: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:modcracogimat5hfyc325zsg/feed/aaanunf43yybk

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Matt @coolnessinc.bsky.social · Jan 22

If you’re traveling and need someone to be anxious about killing your plants while actively killing your plants, I’m your guy.

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Reposted by Matt

spleenly @spleenly.bsky.social · 4h

Never do I want pizza more than when there are 5 meals of leftovers in the fridge.

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Matt @coolnessinc.bsky.social · 5h

“I’m hearing some anxiety. When was the last time you went outside and smelled everything you came into contact with?”

-your dog

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Matt @coolnessinc.bsky.social · 6h

This is honestly a pretty solid take on life.

Reposted by Matt

✰ megan ✰ @meganisthinking.bsky.social · 7h

i don’t chase success, i send it a postcard and hope it visits

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Matt @coolnessinc.bsky.social · 6h

A free inhabitant experiencing temporary atmospheric disturbance, your honor. Show me the statute.

Matt @coolnessinc.bsky.social · 6h

a man in a suit and tie holds a black empire sign

Alt: a man in a suit and tie nods approvingly as if to say “ok, that’s pretty good.”

media.tenor.com

Reposted by Matt

Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 12h

Flavored Seltzer: What If Bubbly Water Had Just Enough Of A Shadow Of Flavor To Annoy You?™️

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Matt @coolnessinc.bsky.social · 12h

It’s like if you sipped sparkling water right as someone next door yelled “watermelon!”.

Reposted by Matt

Jenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 12h

Just pour the milk into the cereal bag & get it over with

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Reposted by Matt

Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 22h

My robot girlfriend and my AI girlfriend are fighting again.

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Reposted by Matt

Dumb Beezie @dumbbeezie.bsky.social · 1d

Sorry I was rude, I didn’t want to be invited again

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Matt @coolnessinc.bsky.social · 14h

*flips chair around backwards and sits down*

“Let’s talk about how the sinfulness of sweet treats show up in scripture, gang”

Matt @coolnessinc.bsky.social · 1d

Sorry I’m late, I was praising my cat for eating all of her dinner.

She ate every last pebble, your honor!

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Matt @coolnessinc.bsky.social · 1d

“I dropped the most scathing toot the other day. Let me find it.”

Matt @coolnessinc.bsky.social · 1d

A shitty day is relative to the person living it. It doesn’t negate the fact that you understand that we live in a hellscape.

At least this is what I tell myself when the world is in shambles AND I have a scratchy throat….