Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

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Bukkakestocracy (free link) @boo.bsky.social · 6h

French tacos should be served in a baguette

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Emily @emilyonhere.gay · 6h

had a dream they changed the name to Dick’s Sharting Goods and everyone was just like “yeah that makes sense”

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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 6h

Rage Against the Muh Peen

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Birds Are Dinosaurs 🦢=🦖 @birdsaredinosaurs.bsky.social · 6h

A Definitive Ranking of U.S. State Flags 🧵

1. Virginia: A+

• Strong anti-fascist message
• Tits out for liberty
• Her outfit looks comfy
• Fuck bras; don't need 'em
• That lady just teabagged Caesar's corpse
• Girlboss

The state flag of Virginia. Lady Liberty is standing over the dead body of a slain Roman man, presumably Julius Caesar. A crown lies discarded on the floor. Liberty is flexing with her spear, one breast exposed and giving no fucks. Beneath her is written "six semper tyrannis," which is Latin for "we'll love to stab tyrants around here; it's our favorite thing to do." (Virginia's actual record on this point is... inconsistent. But the sentiment is nice.)

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*Jeff Bloomberg @breuklyn.bsky.social · 6h

L RON HUBBY

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Kellaweena 🎃 @kellalena.bsky.social · 6h

Not all who wander into the woods to scream are lost.

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Emma™ @cockremover.bsky.social · 6h

im alive as like a favor

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Blue Fairylicious Girl🧚 @bluesnowflake.bsky.social · 6h

I don’t want to brag but I can shove 5 Reese PB cups in my mouth- 7 if I’m stoned, if you’re into that 😬

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debbspook @debbshock.blue · 6h

let's make out in the backseat

the USS motherfucker
boldly fucking your shit up
child's drawing

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Ashley @ashleysays.bsky.social · 6h

Turn it the other way for your very fashion forward pet that is fresh from surgery

Adam Weinstein @adamweinstein.bsky.social · 8h

I... what

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 6h

i’m suing jd vance for causing my tubes to tie themselves

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WitchyBlob @blobstar.bsky.social · 6h

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it scrub your back in a bubble bath

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debbspook @debbshock.blue · 6h

twat *pronounced britishly*

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Fulkery @fulkery.bsky.social · 5h

It’s almost like pass completions are a successful strategy wow

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Tess Tickles @titsonthebarbie.bsky.social · 4d

My birthday this weekend and I received a new couch and vacuum. Don't let anyone tell you that being in your 50's ain't cool.

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Tess Tickles @titsonthebarbie.bsky.social · 4d

Love you but loving life off-line more 🫶

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enrico pallazzo @pimecorp.bsky.social · 8d

long-term nationwide Stanford prison experiment

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Leggy Pain 🇨🇦🇵🇸🇺🇦 @leggypain.bsky.social · 8d

Dipshit Kegsbreath's speech talking about the grooming standard must've been inspired by Sergeant Major Sixta in Generation Kill. Does he not realize how ridiculous Sixta looked? I honestly expected him to start screeching.

a man in a military uniform is talking to another man in a military uniform .

ALT: a man in a military uniform is talking to another man in a military uniform .

media.tenor.com

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Leggy Pain 🇨🇦🇵🇸🇺🇦 @leggypain.bsky.social · 8d

I don't need pornhub anymore now that I can watch video of Pete Kegsbreath dying inside when nobody applauded his little speech. I achieve immediate hands-free completion every time I see it

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Leggy Pain 🇨🇦🇵🇸🇺🇦 @leggypain.bsky.social · 8d

Pete Kegsbreath doesn't like beards because they tickle his balls

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Leggy Pain 🇨🇦🇵🇸🇺🇦 @leggypain.bsky.social · 8d

Is anyone calling ICE freezer pigs yet? Cuz I feel like we should call them freezer pigs.

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Leggy Pain 🇨🇦🇵🇸🇺🇦 @leggypain.bsky.social · 6d

Every time I see one of these ICE fools trying to take someone down one on one they end up looking like Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Also Ricky is smarter and not evil and can sexually please a woman.

a blurred image of a cat sitting on a window sill

ALT: a blurred image of a cat sitting on a window sill

media.tenor.com

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Leggy Pain 🇨🇦🇵🇸🇺🇦 @leggypain.bsky.social · 6d

I couldn't figure out what my outfit today reminded me of. It was John Goodman in Big Lebowski. Big plans to wear this fit more often 😍

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Leggy Pain 🇨🇦🇵🇸🇺🇦 @leggypain.bsky.social · 6d

Audio of Pete Kegsbreath bleating about the grooming standard while seeing video of the raggedy fucksticks roaming the streets like a barely sentient rack of clearance clothes from Bass Pro Shop calling itself ICE plays on the TV. We're being waterboarded with the dissonance

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Leggy Pain 🇨🇦🇵🇸🇺🇦 @leggypain.bsky.social · 6d

I'm just worried that high blood pressure is going to get these ICE agents before the next generation of Nuremberg trials gets the chance.

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