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vladchoc

@vladchoc.bsky.social

5.5K followers 330 following 50 posts

You look at the profile. It's nothing special. There is a pile of burrito wrappers to the east. A huge dork is here. Obvious exits: south, east. /follow dork

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vladchoc @vladchoc.bsky.social · Nov 20

Are you tired of greasy pots and pans? Stubborn kitchen stains? Messy sponges and sprays? Me too. I wish the sun would devour the earth.

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vladchoc @vladchoc.bsky.social · 2d

The janitor squints at the unfinished equation, picks up the chalk and scrawls methodically. Soon all the eights have top-hats like snowmen.

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more mr. dice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · Sep 23

eating a powerful mushroom that grants me the strength to survive being bumped into by a turtle one time

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vladchoc @vladchoc.bsky.social · 5d

Hot tip: If you’re like me and find there are no depression support groups in your area you can simply visit the YouTube comments under Weird Al’s Weezer style parody ‘Skipper Dan.’

A screenshot of the YouTube comments for 'Skipper Dan.' Amongst several depressing messages, the highlighted passage reads "That sentiment of regret and wanting to die is one I understand."

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vladchoc @vladchoc.bsky.social · 8d

Well, well, well. Look who just walked in. If it isn't sad, sad bathroom mirror-man.

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vladchoc @vladchoc.bsky.social · 8d

Miah breaks silence, slams meated stick industry.

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Busiaco @busia.co · 21d

Open your eyes, dude. The wizards who sell us curative potions are the same guys who debuffed us in the first place.

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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 21d

[writing in my journal by candlelight] Bought a box of Oops! All Berries cereal today, but they weren’t all berries. I fear I am no match for life’s challenges

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vladchoc @vladchoc.bsky.social · 29d

*Gotta think of a harmless, absurd joke to break the tension. Come on, you can do this. Don't just sit back and watch this site turn into an angry political hellscape like the last one. Come on. Come on. You got this.*

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Dolphin Pilot @theamitie.bsky.social · Aug 31

This may be controversial, but octopuses should not be allowed to play sports where they can use all eight tentacles. If they’re gonna play tennis or baseball, they can only use one racket or bat

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vladchoc @vladchoc.bsky.social · Aug 31

Was super depressed so I went to see Toxic Avenger. I am now slightly less depressed and the other guy in the theatre seemed to enjoy himself as well. Thank you, world.

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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · Aug 29

I was pretty livid to see the label on my new suit that says "Dry Clean Only," because, to be honest, I'd been planning on wearing it.

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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · Aug 29

*Casually mentions karate 7 times in my wedding vows*

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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · Aug 29

BUSINESS TIP:
I've managed my company for over 35 years, and in that time I've learned that you only need to ask one question in a job interview to tell the difference between a good potential hire and the worst mistake of your life:

"Have you seen the clown that hides from bad job applicants?"

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vladchoc @vladchoc.bsky.social · Aug 29

Growing up, I’d always assumed that the most difficult portions of my life would involve waving torches to fend off wolves.

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josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · Aug 20

The mos eisley cantina music is deceptively playful. It's actually quite scary in there

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Anthony D. Herrera @aherrera.bsky.social · Jul 24

Do you think the Count from Sesame Street loves eternity because it means he never has to stop counting or does he hate eternity because it renders all numbers meaningless?

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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · Aug 6

We all have that one friend who says "caw! caw!" and then snatches a hot dog off your plate and flies away

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Retsoor @retsoor.bsky.social · Apr 22

[shouted over club noise] I said frog & toad are friends

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Mike Schuster @mcs212.bsky.social · Dec 4

Worst part of wedding photography is reminding people that not every Charlie's Angel had a gun

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vladchoc @vladchoc.bsky.social · Jul 8

NO. I don't want my "money back." I want "all of the other problems in my life that caused me to blow up over a coffee order to be solved.”

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vladchoc @vladchoc.bsky.social · Jul 8

Way ahead of you, my man. I splurged on the 'neck pillow brushing against headphones' and 'elderly couple verbally revisit their relationship as they struggle to open muffin packaging' DLC and am usually NOT regretting it.

vladchoc @vladchoc.bsky.social · Jul 7

When I get distracted and irritated by the rain outside, I like to put my headphones on and set my white noise app to a little setting I like to call '96% rain, 4% birds.' Now I am in control of my life.

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vladchoc @vladchoc.bsky.social · Jul 1

Love you as well. Here is a help:

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vladchoc @vladchoc.bsky.social · Jun 23

Sorry to follow and unfollow you repeatedly as an example, @lanyardigan. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to *puts on sunglasses* take out the trash (refollow a bunch of people I care about).

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vladchoc @vladchoc.bsky.social · Jun 23

Would like to calmly and politely bring up a UI issue that occurs when using a Wacom pen, and is ruining every aspect of my life.

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