Jregory "Ahab" Eels
@aaleiv.bsky.social
110 followers 81 following 1.6K posts
he/him. your lawyer's paralegal with several screws loose. recovering addict. has regrets. probably has OCD (and tends to forget this, needs to be reminded).
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Sexts I recieve
ENDURANCE - It's time to wipe that decadent homo-sexual grin off your face.
No unicorns, but definitely green alligators and long-necked geese, some humpty back camels and some chimpanzees, some cats and rats and elephants
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This is how I sext:
And you may ask yourself, well...How did I get here?
It.. really do be like that
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i hate when people start talking about calories when talking about food like who caresssssss
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What is this from? Genuinely asking
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I have never sat normally in a chair my entire life.
Corn sugars are mostly glucose. High fructose corn syrup is corn syrup with the same glucose/fructose ratio as sucrose.
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ME: ugh why does my back hurt all the time

ALSO ME:
Tim Robinson super slouched on a chair looking at his phone like a doofus
Multiple things can be bad, kid.
r e a l
KIM KITSURAGI - “You need to get your shit together.”

YOU - “But I don't wanna get my shit together!”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Then the world will turn away from you, and leave you behind.”
At this time of year? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Y E P
PAYPHONE - Calling...

PAYPHONE - Calling in the night....

EMPATHY - The saddest sound in the world.
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Capricorn: Messages from the stars are often garbled and confusing, so hopefully ferret problems, vanishing bones, and soup disaster make sense to you.
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This is how I sext:
my means are sane, my motive and my object mad
It's me, I'm white people
White people be like let me turn on Steely Dan
rode another 9 miles on the bike today. there was a lady protesting outside the abortion clinic on my route. I stopped and asked what her sign said and then pretended not to know what Catholicism was
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This is how I sext:
Last night was fun. Let’s never do that again.
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I do not smoke and badly want a cigarette.
You know, I heard the same thing from the guy at the non-alcoholic bar who doesn't shut up about chakras. He's otherwise cool and a super intelligent guy, an engineer actually. I'm just not sure where he's getting this.
Just the Catholics, maybe.
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so crazy to just be living every day through the slow motion car crash of escalating fascism and it’s still like. aw man i have to go to the dentist