Reposted by Ben Hauser
SHAGGY: what did the vet say you have
SCOOBY DOO: rabies
SHAGGY: zoinks i didn’t even know you could get pregnant
SCOOBY DOO: rabies
SHAGGY: zoinks i didn’t even know you could get pregnant
January 29, 2026 at 3:20 AM
SHAGGY: what did the vet say you have
SCOOBY DOO: rabies
SHAGGY: zoinks i didn’t even know you could get pregnant
SCOOBY DOO: rabies
SHAGGY: zoinks i didn’t even know you could get pregnant
Reposted by Ben Hauser
if tom waits had a daughter named annie i bet that would be real annoying for her
January 28, 2026 at 8:44 PM
if tom waits had a daughter named annie i bet that would be real annoying for her
My new microwave made five (5!) of the loudest beeps I’d ever heard. Had to buy a special screw head to open it up and disable it on the circuit board.
my 2 best ideas for tech blogs are first and foremost "does it beep", a site that rates electronic devices on the quality and quantity of its beeps, whistles and screetches. secondarily a blog called "earphones for big heads" that rates headphones based on how comfortable they are on a big head
January 27, 2026 at 8:27 PM
My new microwave made five (5!) of the loudest beeps I’d ever heard. Had to buy a special screw head to open it up and disable it on the circuit board.
It’d be funny if they pushed the doomsday clock back an hour for daylight saving
January 27, 2026 at 8:17 PM
It’d be funny if they pushed the doomsday clock back an hour for daylight saving
Here’s to you, Mike F 🥲
January 24, 2026 at 5:30 PM
Here’s to you, Mike F 🥲
I clipped my cat's nails and ran the vacuum cleaner today so this is like the worst day of his life
January 24, 2026 at 1:08 AM
I clipped my cat's nails and ran the vacuum cleaner today so this is like the worst day of his life
Reposted by Ben Hauser
I am the most racist italian on long island and I support ICE. My grandparents came here the right way, by doing it in the 1930s and being from Europe. They also knew how to properly integrate even though they never learned English and never associated with any medigans
January 23, 2026 at 12:00 AM
I am the most racist italian on long island and I support ICE. My grandparents came here the right way, by doing it in the 1930s and being from Europe. They also knew how to properly integrate even though they never learned English and never associated with any medigans
Though I hate having a cold I guess I admit that blowing my nose is kinda fun.
January 15, 2026 at 11:22 PM
Though I hate having a cold I guess I admit that blowing my nose is kinda fun.
Reposted by Ben Hauser
These barbarians are destroying everything that makes society work. Kids can't go to school, patients can't go to the hospital. We are, in effect, paying them to wreck the basic infrastructure of the country
ICE's "presence is terrifying medical staff and raising concerns about patient care, according to five nurses at HCMC hospital in Minneapolis who asked to remain anonymous for fear of losing their jobs."
Via reporter @ericazurek.bsky.social www.mprnews.org/story/2026/0...
Via reporter @ericazurek.bsky.social www.mprnews.org/story/2026/0...
ICE agents appear at Twin Cities hospitals, alarming health care workers
Health care workers in the Twin Cities report that U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents are entering hospitals with detained individuals, leaving some medical staff terrified and concerned ...
www.mprnews.org
January 14, 2026 at 4:28 PM
These barbarians are destroying everything that makes society work. Kids can't go to school, patients can't go to the hospital. We are, in effect, paying them to wreck the basic infrastructure of the country
Reposted by Ben Hauser
Bullllllllllshit
federal officials are now claiming that Jonathan Ross, the ICE agent who killed Renee Good, "suffered internal bleeding"
ICE agent involved in shooting of Renee Good suffered internal bleeding, officials claim
abcnews.go.com
January 14, 2026 at 7:51 PM
Bullllllllllshit
Reposted by Ben Hauser
There is no attitude for which legacy journalists are more often rewarded by their bosses than "Everybody needs to calm down." It is a preening announcement that you are the adult in the room, immune from emotion or overreaction or "hysteria." And it is the worst imaginable priority for this era. >
January 11, 2026 at 5:23 PM
There is no attitude for which legacy journalists are more often rewarded by their bosses than "Everybody needs to calm down." It is a preening announcement that you are the adult in the room, immune from emotion or overreaction or "hysteria." And it is the worst imaginable priority for this era. >
Reposted by Ben Hauser
lmao Mad Magazine has still got it
January 11, 2026 at 1:07 AM
lmao Mad Magazine has still got it
Reposted by Ben Hauser
Video from new angle reveals a dangerous black widow spider on Good's shoulder. He's just trying to get the spider off of her. Republicans insist it's a hoax. "I'm getting real tired of Democrat gaslighting. The officer killed her for insolence and was right to do so", stressed Vice President Vance.
January 11, 2026 at 2:27 AM
Video from new angle reveals a dangerous black widow spider on Good's shoulder. He's just trying to get the spider off of her. Republicans insist it's a hoax. "I'm getting real tired of Democrat gaslighting. The officer killed her for insolence and was right to do so", stressed Vice President Vance.
Embarrassing thing about me is I sometimes forget if "blue cheese" is spelled with an E, like a fucking blu-ray
January 11, 2026 at 2:41 AM
Embarrassing thing about me is I sometimes forget if "blue cheese" is spelled with an E, like a fucking blu-ray
Just learned today that the schoolboys John Lennon started a skiffle band with in the 50s reunited in the 90s and made more skiffle
January 10, 2026 at 2:11 AM
Just learned today that the schoolboys John Lennon started a skiffle band with in the 50s reunited in the 90s and made more skiffle
Reposted by Ben Hauser
i love the idea of a guy who’s still been on the edge of getting into jeopardy after 61 years of it airing
January 8, 2026 at 8:42 PM
i love the idea of a guy who’s still been on the edge of getting into jeopardy after 61 years of it airing
Reposted by Ben Hauser
They spent all that time complaining about crime in cities so they could implement their solution of killing people in cities.
January 7, 2026 at 7:06 PM
They spent all that time complaining about crime in cities so they could implement their solution of killing people in cities.
Reposted by Ben Hauser
A touching tribute to Mike F
![Classic Mike F tweet:
Check this shit out motherfucker [I slide one foot out from under me and fall on my ass, its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:g62tajye723r3fa4gqw7l7ql/bafkreiacssf7vnpkyqovhna4mfme3qexnhqifch625ta46ibfzgpswz6ue@jpeg)
January 7, 2026 at 2:40 AM
A touching tribute to Mike F
i’ve got that dog in me (edward g. robinson’s “little man” from double indemnity)
January 5, 2026 at 6:42 PM
i’ve got that dog in me (edward g. robinson’s “little man” from double indemnity)
Reposted by Ben Hauser
People mad at Chuck Schumer for not saying anything yet need to respect work-life balance ❤️
January 3, 2026 at 4:17 PM
People mad at Chuck Schumer for not saying anything yet need to respect work-life balance ❤️
Reposted by Ben Hauser
taxpayer money going to a kiddie porn generator should be a gigantic scandal, like one of the biggest scandals of our lifetimes
January 2, 2026 at 4:14 PM
taxpayer money going to a kiddie porn generator should be a gigantic scandal, like one of the biggest scandals of our lifetimes
Reposted by Ben Hauser
(me to bari weiss) bitch you are a DEI hire!! you are representing the very important "squat little bootlicker" demographic!
January 2, 2026 at 9:51 PM
(me to bari weiss) bitch you are a DEI hire!! you are representing the very important "squat little bootlicker" demographic!
