Author | Lightnews

Reposted by Brendan Mathews

Anon Opin @anonopin.bsky.social · 5h

Second children are far nicer and better people than the first born

Brendan Mathews @brendanmathews.bsky.social · 3h

Watching the new series of The Witcher, it's amazing how much you don't notice the change in lead. Anyone can wear that white wig and bring Geralt

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Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 1d

They're calling him the most French man in history

CBS News @cbsnews.com · 1d

A French cyclist survived for three days after a horrendous 130-foot fall into a ravine, kept alive by the bottles of red wine he had in his shopping bag, police said.

Cyclist falls down 130-foot ravine in France, survives 3 days by drinking wine he had in shopping bag

A helicopter airlifted him to hospital, with a rescue doctor calling his survival "a miracle."

cbsn.ws

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Brendan Mathews @brendanmathews.bsky.social · 2d

The train took an hour to get to Drogheda, kill me

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the Mountain Goats @themountaingoats.bsky.social · 3d

don’t break my heart *quick changing costume from cowboy to chef’s hat as a kitchen island rises from machinery under the stage* my bake a cakey heart

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Brendan Mathews @brendanmathews.bsky.social · 6d

God is real and just because fuck The Bengals #nfl

Brendan Mathews @brendanmathews.bsky.social · 6d

5 straight wins, we're going to the Superbowl baby #patriots

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Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD, BOFA @buckyisotope.bsky.social · 7d

GOD: hi, welcome to heaven
ME: thanks…is there any BOFA here?
[30 seconds later]
SATAN: hi, welcome to hell

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Brendan Mathews @brendanmathews.bsky.social · 6d

I love when it's somewhere I've eaten, like glimpsing brief proof of good

Random Restaurant Bot @restaurant-bot.bsky.social · 6d

China Kitchen Chinese Takeaway; 71 Park St, Townparks, Dundalk, Co. Louth, A91 X26N, Ireland https://www.google.com/maps/search/?api=1&query=54.0020112%2C-6.403880999999998&query_place_id=ChIJe6QthKfOYEgRjodLn5wbZyQ

1

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J @jaseomcn.bsky.social · 7d

FF/FG will listen to the spoiled tally but what they’re going to hear and act on is “Be more racist”

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Anon Opin @anonopin.bsky.social · 8d

It should be illegal for people's birthdays to be between the 23rd and 27th of December. If you're born on one of those days, your parents should be legally required to choose either 22nd or 28th as your alternate birthday.

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Amy Ash @lolennui.bsky.social · 8d

1998

On-Line Gambling Too Depressing To Even Think About

theonion.com

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Mr. Joshua @pantspants.bsky.social · 8d

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Donal Coffey @donalcoffey.bsky.social · 8d

For overseas followers: in Ireland every seven years we vote for someone to tell the Government they are a bunch of evil clowns and every five years we vote in the evil clowns.

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rubot @rubot.ie · 8d

on a long enough time line everyone joins the cast of the harry potter audiobooks

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I.G.Y. Azalea @steelydad.bsky.social · 12d

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Maureen Johnson @maureenjohnsonbooks.com · 12d

I spend a year plotting a mystery novel and then this happens.

"Police focus on ladder placed against the side of the Louvre"

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Anon Opin @anonopin.bsky.social · 12d

As a walking talking stereotype of a slightly autistic man obsessed with trains, I can't help but feel sorry for young autistic boys growing up in America, it's just such a shit train network, there's only so much you can hyper focus on there.

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Jay Rigdon @jayrigdon.bsky.social · 14d

Not sure the folks at NBC/Peacock thought this one through

Two announcers, Jason Garrett and Dan Hicks, stand in front of a sign that reads "Big Turd" thanks to how they are blocking it

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Skullen @hellocullen.bsky.social · Dec 27

You can go mostwhere in the all the beefy rugged pleasure of the 2024 Trail-Raisened Prumby Gummer

with Tired Wheels, All-family Stew Pockets, and "Clam Mode" you'll be toddling all over creation

Prumby: Drive What Cars You

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rubot @rubot.ie · 16d

i'd love to meet someone canvassing for Heather Humphries. I want to know if they are really into it. If they are passionate about it. About Heather Humphries being president. They want to spend their days making that happen. I want to know why. What drives them. What went wrong.

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Peter @notalawyer.bsky.social · 17d

the subreddits for luxury watches are some of the darkest places on earth

Rolex subreddit post:

My uncle has Alzheimer's and is often forgetful of his possessions. One of them is a Rolex Submariner. Would I be justified in taking and caring for it as my own instead of having it left neglected and forgotten in his jewelry box? Thanks.

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wargen @funeralpig.bsky.social · 18d

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. One for practice and the other one is the "main" grave.

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fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 18d

My girlfriend has her dad's ashes in an urn on the mantelpiece. Lately I've started picking it up and doing a, quite frankly, incredible impression of Paul Bearer from WWF in the mirror. If she caught me, I'd be dumped, but it's SUCH a good impression.

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