Joe Garland 🦋
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bsky.dad
Joe Garland 🦋
@bsky.dad
TV comedy writer
EN/FR
J'aime Montréal
So you work for ICE huh? Fuck you
So you work on the railroad huh? Yeah, that tracks.
January 12, 2026 at 12:38 AM
Reposted by Joe Garland 🦋
Please share far and wide. If you’re able to help families currently being targeted by ICE with a donation, venmo kevin-nye-3
This was incredible. We fed 40 families today. Thank you to @jchavezmpls.bsky.social for helping fundraise, @elitalksmpls.bsky.social for organizing with me, and the dozen people who helped us pack and shop. And thank you to everyone who donated. I have no words.
January 11, 2026 at 7:49 PM
Please share far and wide. If you’re able to help families currently being targeted by ICE with a donation, venmo kevin-nye-3
This was incredible. We fed 40 families today. Thank you to @jchavezmpls.bsky.social for helping fundraise, @elitalksmpls.bsky.social for organizing with me, and the dozen people who helped us pack and shop. And thank you to everyone who donated. I have no words.
January 11, 2026 at 7:49 PM
Yeah, I think growing up in New Orleans left him with a little bit of a French inferiority complex that he felt he could finally make amends for once he got north of the border
January 11, 2026 at 7:34 PM
My grandmother swore to her dying say that he was gay but she was also a borderline Nazi so nobody quite knows what to make of that
January 11, 2026 at 7:33 PM
I remember he was the first person to ever tell me about Montréal, and he got me my first Expos hat (which was actually one of those 80s plastic helmet things - I loved it) even though he fully identified as a Met at that point
January 11, 2026 at 7:32 PM
My grandmother was Catherine Staub Garland, and he was her nephew. I grew up in Houston, so whenever there was an old timers game after he retired, my dad would take me to the Dome to hang out with him
January 11, 2026 at 7:30 PM
Rusty is my cousin! I have stories. Had to run down into the basement just now to grab this
January 11, 2026 at 7:24 PM
Came for the pennant, stayed for the Expos hat
January 11, 2026 at 7:19 PM
Reposted by Joe Garland 🦋
Last night’s win by #dabears  inspired me to create this #chicagobears pennant of the famous #snl sketch of Bill Swerski’s SUPER FANS. Yes, I stayed up most of the night to make it but it was worth it! Can’t say the mustache is a good look on me but anything for DA BEARS.
January 11, 2026 at 7:00 PM
Reposted by Joe Garland 🦋
Would any of my low-quality followers like to discuss something in this thread?
December 20, 2024 at 2:44 AM
Reposted by Joe Garland 🦋
THIS BRAVE GIRL IS GONNA STAND UP IN FRONT OF THE NINE MOST HEARTLESS PEOPLE IN THE COUNTRY WHILE THEY JUDGE WHETHER SHE CAN PLAY SPORTS WITH HER FRIENDS AND I COULD NOT BE MORE PROUD OF HER AND DISGUSTED BY THEM
On Tuesday, the Supreme Court is going to hear West Virginia's effort to ban the state's only transgender athlete, 15-year-old Becky Pepper-Jackson.

Win or lose, I need your help making sure Becky knows she's a hero for standing up for what's right
January 11, 2026 at 2:21 PM
Reposted by Joe Garland 🦋
everything I see is buns. we gave the dumbest wife-beater in every town a gun. some oligarch with a fucked up head and face situation is buying every tv news outlet. the united states army harnessed the brown noise. hot dog 100 dollars. people are happy in chicago. this is all unambiguously cheeks
January 11, 2026 at 6:08 AM
Reposted by Joe Garland 🦋
here's a comic i think about all the time

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...
January 30, 2025 at 11:29 AM
Reposted by Joe Garland 🦋
Having a three-year-old in preschool will fuck with you because one of the five-year-olds will come up to tell you something and you’ll think “what sage wisdom is this elder statesman about to bestow?” and then it turns out they’re a fucking idiot too
January 11, 2026 at 12:01 AM
Reposted by Joe Garland 🦋
asmr_ice_agents_respecting_women_after_democrats_increase_funding_for_sensitivity_training.mp4
January 11, 2026 at 12:13 AM
Slightly diminish a game

Cero
Slightly diminish a game

Edema
January 11, 2026 at 2:34 PM
Reposted by Joe Garland 🦋
She was a mother, like me. Her friend in the car witnessed it, and was interviewed covered in blood on the street a few minutes later.

I just saw the video and she was trying to leave. They shot her immediately. The news is already lying and saying she was rioting. NPR read the DHS statement /4
January 11, 2026 at 1:58 PM
Imagine a pillowcase holding two cats, each with a slogan painted on it. One says “smart people” and the other says “rich people.” The smart people cat is declawed. The pillowcase says “bitchmaker decider.” The people watching all have “bitch” painted on their shirts. One of them insists you vote fo
January 11, 2026 at 1:52 PM
January 11, 2026 at 6:21 AM
Fred Ootball
January 11, 2026 at 6:18 AM
everything I see is buns. we gave the dumbest wife-beater in every town a gun. some oligarch with a fucked up head and face situation is buying every tv news outlet. the united states army harnessed the brown noise. hot dog 100 dollars. people are happy in chicago. this is all unambiguously cheeks
January 11, 2026 at 6:08 AM
Reposted by Joe Garland 🦋
if youre mad that ms rachel is popular

and you try to fix it by being more grotesque

Y̷̲̺͖̝̱̮̰̘̓̒̈̅̀͑͝Ơ̶̧̧̺͓͙̦̦̣̪͊͂̚̕͘͝͝Ṳ̸̢͔̱̚ ̵̰̯̖̲͖̥̠͎̏̂̅̈́̚͝M̵̯̠̖͙̹͍̃̏ͅI̶͇̫̻͙͗͌̍́̂̽G̵̢̨̛̤̜̻̈́͗̔̑̒͜͝Ḥ̷̢̭̹͎̟͙̱̈͑̈́͐̄T̸̯̥̾͛̎̒͛̌͑͘͝ ̴̨̭̙̺̣̼̽͗B̶̢̲͍̙̦̠͇̗̒̿͐̊̕͠E̶̟̰̬̘̙̣͈̼̣͌̔̀͆͛̊ ̴̝̼̹̔̐̋͛̕͠A̸̧͈̭̣̳̅̅̑̂͝ ̴̻͉̹̣̫̗́̾̈͆̀͋̐̈́͠Ṟ̷̣̝̗̻̯̪̭̠͖̇̓͛̀̎E̴̖̭̠͇͙̺̘͌D̵̡̢͓͖̳̫̟̐̍͊̀N̴̡̗̝̼̓̿͗̏̅̔͊͘E̸̯̘̗̤̺̓̏̆̚ͅC̴̹̗͚̭͖̤̝̑͂Ḱ̶͉̱͉͇͓̮͈͒́͌̑̒̕͠͠͝

.
January 10, 2026 at 2:29 PM
Reposted by Joe Garland 🦋
it's happening
January 10, 2026 at 9:44 PM
I do not completely understand the customs of your people, but I am proud and grateful that your God insisted that you post this
constructing a “boy jail” for eggs that’s a gentle oubliette filled with blahaj. it will be equipped with DBT workbooks, a water fountain, & an automated estradiol dispenser.
January 11, 2026 at 2:46 AM