Ben
@burriscommaben.bsky.social
Improv guy
ΞΞΞ
Person with a real job, family, set of feelings
ΞΞΞ
Avid podcast consumer, famously lactose intolerant
ΞΞΞ
Person with a real job, family, set of feelings
ΞΞΞ
Avid podcast consumer, famously lactose intolerant
Reposted by Ben
somehow it's "hoarding" when I keep my old tech as long as possible and resent forced obsolescence
but not "hoarding" when billionaires and tech companies suck up all the money and burn though the planet in search of endless growth
but not "hoarding" when billionaires and tech companies suck up all the money and burn though the planet in search of endless growth
stupid young people, stop buying a new phone every year if you don't want to be broke. wait no, not like that.
November 26, 2025 at 1:19 AM
somehow it's "hoarding" when I keep my old tech as long as possible and resent forced obsolescence
but not "hoarding" when billionaires and tech companies suck up all the money and burn though the planet in search of endless growth
but not "hoarding" when billionaires and tech companies suck up all the money and burn though the planet in search of endless growth
Reposted by Ben
We Didn't Start The Fire (Demi's Version) @electrolemon.bsky.social
November 25, 2025 at 6:00 PM
We Didn't Start The Fire (Demi's Version) @electrolemon.bsky.social
Reposted by Ben
I make my entire living selling current event bingo cards for the year and people are constantly bitching about how things weren’t on their cards and it’s very exhausting trying to come up with these things and no one ever appreciates all the effort I put into them
November 25, 2025 at 9:00 PM
I make my entire living selling current event bingo cards for the year and people are constantly bitching about how things weren’t on their cards and it’s very exhausting trying to come up with these things and no one ever appreciates all the effort I put into them
Reposted by Ben
The Atlantic & Vanity Fair only ever assign RFK Jr profiles to people who want to fuck him because nobody else can stomach the idea of lying to help him. He's an elderly nepobaby on a mission to kill as many children as possible before he dies, to leave the world more plague-ridden than he found it.
November 25, 2025 at 11:36 AM
The Atlantic & Vanity Fair only ever assign RFK Jr profiles to people who want to fuck him because nobody else can stomach the idea of lying to help him. He's an elderly nepobaby on a mission to kill as many children as possible before he dies, to leave the world more plague-ridden than he found it.
Reposted by Ben
good work guys you picked a fight in which Dems can stand up out of their permanent defensive crouch and go “our guy is a fucking astronaut and you’re an alcoholic tv host”
Gallego to Hegseth: "You will never ever be half the man that Sen. Kelly is. You, sir, are a coward. And the fact that you are following this order from the president shows how big of a coward you are. I can't wait until you are no longer the secretary of defense."
November 24, 2025 at 9:49 PM
good work guys you picked a fight in which Dems can stand up out of their permanent defensive crouch and go “our guy is a fucking astronaut and you’re an alcoholic tv host”
Reposted by Ben
Is there a way to program a button to quote skeet the Ed Zitron Smile image?
imagine that. imagine that. imagine that! imagine that. did anybody say anything about this once or twice or thrice, hmm? did anybody talk about, this? no? hmm?
November 24, 2025 at 5:21 PM
Is there a way to program a button to quote skeet the Ed Zitron Smile image?
Catching up on Climate Denier's Playbook podcast and when Nicole said "used to be my boyfriend" instead of "yes is my boyfriend" I was parasocially gobsmacked for half a second
November 24, 2025 at 4:18 PM
Catching up on Climate Denier's Playbook podcast and when Nicole said "used to be my boyfriend" instead of "yes is my boyfriend" I was parasocially gobsmacked for half a second
My youngest has recently discovered the 2014 Annie movie so now whenever he stirs up drama (which is all the time) and gets even the mildest pushback he starts singing It's a Hard-Knock Life.
November 24, 2025 at 12:14 PM
My youngest has recently discovered the 2014 Annie movie so now whenever he stirs up drama (which is all the time) and gets even the mildest pushback he starts singing It's a Hard-Knock Life.
Reposted by Ben
i hate repeating myself but it's worth noting that the reactionary right doesn't actually value hotness in women. what they value is submission to male power, regardless of how it looks. this is why they are all-in on grotesque plastic surgeries
November 9, 2025 at 7:22 PM
i hate repeating myself but it's worth noting that the reactionary right doesn't actually value hotness in women. what they value is submission to male power, regardless of how it looks. this is why they are all-in on grotesque plastic surgeries
In another life I would have loved doing laundry and taxes with you, Charlie Brown
That "fuckin' nobody"... is John Wick. He once was an associate of ours. They call him "Charlie Brown."
I’m not the guy you kill, Charlie Brown. I’m the guy you buy!
November 24, 2025 at 1:48 AM
In another life I would have loved doing laundry and taxes with you, Charlie Brown
Reposted by Ben
Elon Musk donated $277 million to Trump so he could steal the federal government’s data, dismantle the nation’s infrastructure, and stop foreign aid from going to nonwhite people. It’s a quid pro quo breathtaking in scope, corruption, and damage, & completely unprecedented in American history.
Bye bye, “DOGE”.
It no longer exists as a “centralized entity”, according to the Office of Personnel Management.
@reuters.com
www.reuters.com/world/us/dog...
It no longer exists as a “centralized entity”, according to the Office of Personnel Management.
@reuters.com
www.reuters.com/world/us/dog...
November 23, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Elon Musk donated $277 million to Trump so he could steal the federal government’s data, dismantle the nation’s infrastructure, and stop foreign aid from going to nonwhite people. It’s a quid pro quo breathtaking in scope, corruption, and damage, & completely unprecedented in American history.
I knew trucks had gotten bigger the last 20 or so years but there was a truck in my neighborhood that I was sure was an old 199x Ford Ranger and the thing was an F-150.
November 23, 2025 at 9:27 PM
I knew trucks had gotten bigger the last 20 or so years but there was a truck in my neighborhood that I was sure was an old 199x Ford Ranger and the thing was an F-150.
Reposted by Ben
the last 24 hours on X, summed up:
November 23, 2025 at 2:26 PM
the last 24 hours on X, summed up:
Reposted by Ben
this is a metaphor for waking up and logging on
the baby (17 months) raised both her hands and said “WEADY?” so I said “ready!” and then she slapped me in the face
November 22, 2025 at 6:27 PM
this is a metaphor for waking up and logging on
Reposted by Ben
DOGE was created for data theft and infrastructure dismantling and it wildly succeeded on both counts within the first few weeks of its existence. It will take a generation to rebuild what it destroyed and the breach of data is unprecedented.
Bye bye, “DOGE”.
It no longer exists as a “centralized entity”, according to the Office of Personnel Management.
@reuters.com
www.reuters.com/world/us/dog...
It no longer exists as a “centralized entity”, according to the Office of Personnel Management.
@reuters.com
www.reuters.com/world/us/dog...
November 23, 2025 at 3:01 PM
DOGE was created for data theft and infrastructure dismantling and it wildly succeeded on both counts within the first few weeks of its existence. It will take a generation to rebuild what it destroyed and the breach of data is unprecedented.
Reposted by Ben
answer is great but also it's telling that the guy who's been saying this since day 1 has to answer about whether he's an antisemite for 5 min every interview while the same people grin vacantly at the jewish space lasers lady and call her a brave warrior
WELKER: What is your message to Jewish New Yorkers who feel you won't be tough enough in your response to antisemitism?
MAMDANI: That I am looking forward to being the next mayor and fulfilling the commitment I've made to Jewish New Yorkers to not only protect them but to celebrate and cherish them
MAMDANI: That I am looking forward to being the next mayor and fulfilling the commitment I've made to Jewish New Yorkers to not only protect them but to celebrate and cherish them
November 23, 2025 at 4:26 PM
answer is great but also it's telling that the guy who's been saying this since day 1 has to answer about whether he's an antisemite for 5 min every interview while the same people grin vacantly at the jewish space lasers lady and call her a brave warrior
Reposted by Ben
imagine being this big of a fuckin loser
November 23, 2025 at 11:42 AM
imagine being this big of a fuckin loser
Reposted by Ben
Reposted by Ben
Laughing at Donald Trump saying he'd definitely feel comfortable living in Zohran Mamdani's New York on the same day that half the consultant brain-poisoned Democratic party voted to condemn socialism
November 21, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Laughing at Donald Trump saying he'd definitely feel comfortable living in Zohran Mamdani's New York on the same day that half the consultant brain-poisoned Democratic party voted to condemn socialism
Doctor: sorry about the outburst there, force of habit. No it is just your neck and your back that I'm seeing fractures in.
November 22, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Doctor: sorry about the outburst there, force of habit. No it is just your neck and your back that I'm seeing fractures in.
Reposted by Ben
David Brooks is the Jordan Peterson of third white guy who gets somehow both more boring AND more twisted the further you look into him
November 21, 2025 at 9:57 PM
David Brooks is the Jordan Peterson of third white guy who gets somehow both more boring AND more twisted the further you look into him
Reposted by Ben
"Quiet piggy" makes sense when told through this lens
November 21, 2025 at 4:01 PM
"Quiet piggy" makes sense when told through this lens
Reposted by Ben
Imagine being one of those CEOs or school presidents who bowed down to this weird old man, then realizing he doesn’t like you as much as he likes this guy who didn’t bow at all
November 21, 2025 at 9:32 PM
Imagine being one of those CEOs or school presidents who bowed down to this weird old man, then realizing he doesn’t like you as much as he likes this guy who didn’t bow at all