Dalton Deschain
@daltondeschain.com
Pulp horror-punk from NYC. Also co-host of the podcast The Pod Universe. Also the B-69s guy. They/he, moth/man
linktr.ee/daltondeschain
linktr.ee/daltondeschain
The only use of AI that appeals to me is some sort of Bluesky bot that would allow me to follow a funny poster without seeing any of their dog-ass movie takes
November 29, 2025 at 12:48 AM
The only use of AI that appeals to me is some sort of Bluesky bot that would allow me to follow a funny poster without seeing any of their dog-ass movie takes
dad had the fuckin BALLS to stop on the CNN report about the DC shooting in front of my only Fox News poisoned relatives. I think my “whydontweputonthedogshow” was the fastest I’ve ever spoken
November 27, 2025 at 10:35 PM
dad had the fuckin BALLS to stop on the CNN report about the DC shooting in front of my only Fox News poisoned relatives. I think my “whydontweputonthedogshow” was the fastest I’ve ever spoken
Reposted by Dalton Deschain
This is a crazy way to commemorate an anniversary
November 27, 2025 at 12:40 AM
This is a crazy way to commemorate an anniversary
Reposted by Dalton Deschain
If you haven’t watched my new comedy special yet, this weekend is a nice time to give it a shot! You can watch it with your parents if you have cool parents, and you can watch it with your kids if you have cool kids!
My new standup special Positive Reinforcement premieres TONIGHT at 8pm eastern time on Blonde Medicine’s YouTube channel. I’m really proud of this hour and grateful to all the people who helped make the special happen.
Watch here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAvN...
Watch here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAvN...
November 27, 2025 at 12:14 AM
If you haven’t watched my new comedy special yet, this weekend is a nice time to give it a shot! You can watch it with your parents if you have cool parents, and you can watch it with your kids if you have cool kids!
Standing on the table at Thanksgiving dinner, kicking over the gravy and screaming into my aunt's face:
ETERNAL
DARKNESS
COLON
SANITY'S
FUCKING
REQUIEM
ETERNAL
DARKNESS
COLON
SANITY'S
FUCKING
REQUIEM
November 26, 2025 at 5:24 PM
Standing on the table at Thanksgiving dinner, kicking over the gravy and screaming into my aunt's face:
ETERNAL
DARKNESS
COLON
SANITY'S
FUCKING
REQUIEM
ETERNAL
DARKNESS
COLON
SANITY'S
FUCKING
REQUIEM
Reposted by Dalton Deschain
finally subscribed to Werthers+ so I can catch up on all the latest Werthers Originals
June 24, 2023 at 3:27 PM
finally subscribed to Werthers+ so I can catch up on all the latest Werthers Originals
Reposted by Dalton Deschain
when my lover says he has to spend the holidays with his damn wife
November 23, 2025 at 8:14 PM
when my lover says he has to spend the holidays with his damn wife
when my lover says he has to spend the holidays with his damn wife
November 23, 2025 at 8:14 PM
when my lover says he has to spend the holidays with his damn wife
please. can anyone tell me what this means. I know it’s probably some long lost inside joke. but I need it deciphered
November 23, 2025 at 7:44 PM
please. can anyone tell me what this means. I know it’s probably some long lost inside joke. but I need it deciphered
be the first to twerk all the balls out of your box
November 23, 2025 at 7:11 PM
be the first to twerk all the balls out of your box
performing at the Second City tonight which is so so so cool for the little alt comedy nerd in me
November 21, 2025 at 11:48 PM
performing at the Second City tonight which is so so so cool for the little alt comedy nerd in me
woke 2 on a generational run right now. I’m talking John Carpenter ‘78-‘88 kinda run.
November 21, 2025 at 10:10 PM
woke 2 on a generational run right now. I’m talking John Carpenter ‘78-‘88 kinda run.
Reposted by Dalton Deschain
TRUMP: he says it's dialectical. di-a-lec-tic-al. beautiful word. no one really knows what it means but we're doing it.
TRUMP [after spending 5 minutes with Zohran]: surplus value, it’s a very wonderful thing, very wonderful, and they’re stealing it. Can you believe that?
We’re going to be looking very strongly at the bourgeoisie, what they’re up to
We’re going to be looking very strongly at the bourgeoisie, what they’re up to
November 21, 2025 at 9:37 PM
TRUMP: he says it's dialectical. di-a-lec-tic-al. beautiful word. no one really knows what it means but we're doing it.
Reposted by Dalton Deschain
The whole meeting is bonkers but I literally yelled aloud at this
A reporter asks if Mamdani stands by calling Trump a fascist. Mamdani starts to give a delicate answer.
Trump (smiles, pats Mamdani's arm): "That's OK, you can just say yes. It's easier. I don't mind."
Trump (smiles, pats Mamdani's arm): "That's OK, you can just say yes. It's easier. I don't mind."
November 21, 2025 at 9:06 PM
The whole meeting is bonkers but I literally yelled aloud at this
Reposted by Dalton Deschain
Mamdani masterclass continues
Q: Just days ago you referred to Trump as a 'despot.' Will you retract?
MAMDANI: We're both very clear on our positions & what I really appreciate about the president is our meeting focused not on places of disagreement but shared purpose we have
TRUMP: I've been called much worse than a despot
MAMDANI: We're both very clear on our positions & what I really appreciate about the president is our meeting focused not on places of disagreement but shared purpose we have
TRUMP: I've been called much worse than a despot
November 21, 2025 at 8:49 PM
Mamdani masterclass continues
When Keeping It Corporate Positivity Speak Goes Wrong
Oh my god that is the worst possible answer
November 21, 2025 at 6:59 PM
When Keeping It Corporate Positivity Speak Goes Wrong
Reposted by Dalton Deschain
re: roblox dude's interview crashout. the thing he wants to say but can't is "at scale, kids are gonna get hurt. that is the price for scale." the thing nobody wants to say out loud is "maybe scaling to a level where harm isn't manageable is bad, and scale should be contained"
November 21, 2025 at 6:35 PM
re: roblox dude's interview crashout. the thing he wants to say but can't is "at scale, kids are gonna get hurt. that is the price for scale." the thing nobody wants to say out loud is "maybe scaling to a level where harm isn't manageable is bad, and scale should be contained"
Reposted by Dalton Deschain
Reposted by Dalton Deschain
this is my impression of Ben Gibbard cruising
I Will Follow You Into The Park
thank you
I Will Follow You Into The Park
thank you
November 20, 2025 at 11:58 PM
this is my impression of Ben Gibbard cruising
I Will Follow You Into The Park
thank you
I Will Follow You Into The Park
thank you
Reposted by Dalton Deschain
this is tomorrow! I'm really excited about it! I MIGHT even break out a B-69s song????
oh hey. on Friday I’m performing some songs at Second City NYC, and then comedians are going to improvise scenes about them.
you should come by please!
you should come by please!
November 20, 2025 at 8:18 PM
this is tomorrow! I'm really excited about it! I MIGHT even break out a B-69s song????
exactlyyyyyyyyy
November 20, 2025 at 8:21 PM
exactlyyyyyyyyy
this is tomorrow! I'm really excited about it! I MIGHT even break out a B-69s song????
oh hey. on Friday I’m performing some songs at Second City NYC, and then comedians are going to improvise scenes about them.
you should come by please!
you should come by please!
November 20, 2025 at 8:18 PM
this is tomorrow! I'm really excited about it! I MIGHT even break out a B-69s song????
gotta say, if you have a pet with a two syllable name like spongebob, this one goes crazy around the house
tried telling my fiancée about spongebob big guy pants okay and she thought it was something I dreamed
November 20, 2025 at 3:52 PM
gotta say, if you have a pet with a two syllable name like spongebob, this one goes crazy around the house
tried telling my fiancée about spongebob big guy pants okay and she thought it was something I dreamed
November 20, 2025 at 3:36 PM
tried telling my fiancée about spongebob big guy pants okay and she thought it was something I dreamed
lmao this is FOUL
November 19, 2025 at 7:37 PM
lmao this is FOUL