Martin W
@dmartw.bsky.social
Muddling through life trying to be nice. Somewhere oop north.
I loved Derry Girls, but How To Get To Heaven From Belfast is distinctly meh. Huge disappointment.
February 18, 2026 at 11:00 PM
I loved Derry Girls, but How To Get To Heaven From Belfast is distinctly meh. Huge disappointment.
Everything that was missing under Lowe was there in spades tonight. The players quite obviously didn't believe in (or like) Lowe. #wafc
February 18, 2026 at 9:42 PM
Everything that was missing under Lowe was there in spades tonight. The players quite obviously didn't believe in (or like) Lowe. #wafc
How the fuck is that a penalty?
February 18, 2026 at 6:16 PM
How the fuck is that a penalty?
Reposted by Martin W
Gerard Hoffnung's The Bricklayer's Lament, one of the greatest comic deliveries of all time www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZUJ...
The Bricklayer's Lament - by Gerard Hoffnung
YouTube video by Col
www.youtube.com
March 6, 2025 at 2:47 PM
Gerard Hoffnung's The Bricklayer's Lament, one of the greatest comic deliveries of all time www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZUJ...
Reposted by Martin W
![SCENE: A PASSPORT CONTROL GATE, IN THE SKY, ON A CLOUD. THE PASSPORT CONTROL GATE HAS ‘CORPOREAL REALM’ WRITTEN ON IT.
PASSPORT CONTROL OFFICIAL: Passport please, sir.
OFFICIAL [LOOKING AT PASSPORT]: Ah - the famous Dr Jenner!
EDWARD JENNER, A FLOATING GHOST IN EDWARDIAN GARB: Indeed, haha
OFFICIAL: And what's the purpose of your visit to the corporeal realm, Dr Jenner?
EDWARD JENNER: Haunting.
OFFICIAL: Oh lovely. Anyone nice?
EDWARD JENNER: Just a little tour of some anti-vaxxers.
OFFICIAL: Wonderful. I hear Andrew Wakefield’s bedroom is just •perfect• at this time of year.
EDWARD JENNER: It is! I spent last summer standing by his bed, calling him a c--.
OFFICIAL: Lucky yooou…
OFFICIAL [LOOKING AT DOCUMENTS]: Oh... oh dear...
EDWARD JENNER: Is everything OK?
OFFICIAL: I’m afraid your card says you haven’t had the required stupidity vaccination for your trip.
EDWARD JENNER: Oh dear!
OFFICIAL: It’s fine - we can do it here…
Just read this anti-vax tweet by Jim Carrey
EDWARD JENNER [reading a smartphone]: Egads!
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreibelysv45nptkn3fzrjup3xl5tx5pcmnzvmcbpim72tul5dvyf2w4@jpeg)
I've now got PTSD from remembering all the IPTV spam on the other place.
The rise of illegally streaming the Premier League is a problem entirely of their own making. They split the rights over three subscription services, hiked the prices, and even then, show less than half of the games. IPTV is better in every way.
February 17, 2026 at 9:23 PM
I've now got PTSD from remembering all the IPTV spam on the other place.
Vinicius Jr really is an obnoxious little shit.
February 17, 2026 at 9:11 PM
Vinicius Jr really is an obnoxious little shit.
He wrote some stone-cold classics, he did.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Billy Steinberg: The man whose bad break-up gave Madonna her breakthrough hit Like a Virgin
Billy Steinberg, who has died at the age of 75, co-wrote Madonna's 1984 chart-topper Like a Virgin.
www.bbc.co.uk
February 17, 2026 at 4:30 PM
He wrote some stone-cold classics, he did.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
When it got to the line about 'vegan mums' I truly lost it.
www.independent.co.uk/life-style/h... "I am a pain in the arse and have fucked up real bad and want it to be someone else's fault"
I’m a London parent who hasn’t vaccinated my kids against measles, let me explain
A new outbreak of measles is spreading across north London, and it’s a wake-up call to all mums like me who didn’t give the MMR vaccines to our children, says Charlotte Cripps
www.independent.co.uk
February 17, 2026 at 3:55 PM
When it got to the line about 'vegan mums' I truly lost it.
My stomach just made a noise that sounded exactly like Chewbacca's roar.
a close up of yoda from star wars with the words `` incredibly proud , i am '' written below him .
ALT: a close up of yoda from star wars with the words `` incredibly proud , i am '' written below him .
media.tenor.com
February 17, 2026 at 1:46 PM
My stomach just made a noise that sounded exactly like Chewbacca's roar.
Bring back
1) Capital punishment
2) Shops closed on Sunday and half-day Wednesday
Ban
1) Coffee shops
2) Cheese and onion crisps being in anything but green bags.
1) Capital punishment
2) Shops closed on Sunday and half-day Wednesday
Ban
1) Coffee shops
2) Cheese and onion crisps being in anything but green bags.
Your challenge for the day is to invent a ReformUK policy. On Shrove Tuesday next year we get to see if they’ve adopted it.
Remember, it should appeal to insane pensioners and absolutely nobody else. QT with yours!
Remember, it should appeal to insane pensioners and absolutely nobody else. QT with yours!
February 17, 2026 at 1:31 PM
Bring back
1) Capital punishment
2) Shops closed on Sunday and half-day Wednesday
Ban
1) Coffee shops
2) Cheese and onion crisps being in anything but green bags.
1) Capital punishment
2) Shops closed on Sunday and half-day Wednesday
Ban
1) Coffee shops
2) Cheese and onion crisps being in anything but green bags.
Nice things happen.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Asda worker 'restores faith in humanity' for newborn's parents
Emma and Harry Brown say the Asda employee's kindness helped them to feed and clothe their new baby.
www.bbc.co.uk
February 17, 2026 at 11:42 AM
Nice things happen.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Legs Akimbo vibes.
February 17, 2026 at 8:59 AM
Legs Akimbo vibes.
Reposted by Martin W
guys if I'm murdered please don't turn it into interpretive dance I don't want that
February 17, 2026 at 8:32 AM
guys if I'm murdered please don't turn it into interpretive dance I don't want that
St Pancake was martyred by being squashed under a large rock in AD673, which is where we get the saying "as flat as a pancake" from. Sometime in the late 1800s a Victorian lemon juice entrepreneur named Marcel Jif, a French immigrant to London, needed something to perk up his failing business.
February 17, 2026 at 8:16 AM
St Pancake was martyred by being squashed under a large rock in AD673, which is where we get the saying "as flat as a pancake" from. Sometime in the late 1800s a Victorian lemon juice entrepreneur named Marcel Jif, a French immigrant to London, needed something to perk up his failing business.
"All the people I was kissing
Some are here and some are missing
In my nineteen nineties"
Some are here and some are missing
In my nineteen nineties"
What’s the best song lyric in history?
February 16, 2026 at 9:15 PM
"All the people I was kissing
Some are here and some are missing
In my nineteen nineties"
Some are here and some are missing
In my nineteen nineties"
Reposted by Martin W
Been watching The Wrecking Crew for an hour and it feels like three. And Claes Cang gives me the ick.
February 15, 2026 at 10:11 PM
Been watching The Wrecking Crew for an hour and it feels like three. And Claes Cang gives me the ick.
Do those Arsenal bastards not realise they're ruining my birthday?
February 15, 2026 at 4:57 PM
Do those Arsenal bastards not realise they're ruining my birthday?
Keep it below double figures and I'll be happy. #wafc
a cat is giving a thumbs up and the words yikes ok are below it
Alt: a cat is giving a thumbs up and the words yikes ok are below it
media.tenor.com
February 15, 2026 at 4:51 PM
Keep it below double figures and I'll be happy. #wafc
Reposted by Martin W
"Have you taken your break?" #smallprophets
February 15, 2026 at 3:00 PM
"Have you taken your break?" #smallprophets