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Two Whoppers Junior @jasonthee.bsky.social · 13h

"I'm pregnant!" shouts Jonathan Franzen's wife. He places a finger on her lips. "No, it is I who am pregnant," he says. "Pregnant with the next great American novel." He walks into the backyard and places a single portobello mushroom upon the grill.

Two Whoppers Junior @jasonthee.bsky.social · 2d

Thanks for revisiting the 21st century's biggest squandered mandate.

Two Whoppers Junior @jasonthee.bsky.social · 2d

And was deported for his troubles.

Two Whoppers Junior @jasonthee.bsky.social · 3d

"Assman, Jerry. I'm GEORGE PICKENS, the ASSMAN!"

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Two Whoppers Junior @jasonthee.bsky.social · 3d

Penn State Head Coach Tim Skipper

Reposted by Two Whoppers Junior

Jason Adams @jamnpp.bsky.social · 4d

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world,... I feel like I can't take it. And my heart is just going to cave in.

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Two Whoppers Junior @jasonthee.bsky.social · 4d

Joel Zumaya has something to prove.

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Two Whoppers Junior @jasonthee.bsky.social · 4d

You’ll miss the alternating 2-point conversion attempts.

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Two Whoppers Junior @jasonthee.bsky.social · 5d

theonion.com/in-my-day-ba...

In My Day, Ballplayers Were For Shit

It seems everywhere I go these days, some young fella’s jibber-jabbering about how great some ballplayer of today is. It’s always Mark McGwire this or Sammy Sosa that. Well, of course they’re the best...

theonion.com

Two Whoppers Junior @jasonthee.bsky.social · 7d

Wake Forest vs. Toledo shoehorned into OPACY on a gray December afternoon. Would it deliver some vague "economic boost" promised by our local officials? No. Would it look cool on TV? Also no.

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Two Whoppers Junior @jasonthee.bsky.social · 9d

2020 was his chance. Sometimes you only get one of those.

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Two Whoppers Junior @jasonthee.bsky.social · 9d

Good thing it's a bye week (yes, I know)

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Two Whoppers Junior @jasonthee.bsky.social · 12d

Oh no, not the sombreros!

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Two Whoppers Junior @jasonthee.bsky.social · 13d

He’s only funny when Neal Brennan is writing his material.

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Two Whoppers Junior @jasonthee.bsky.social · 13d

Harris bought the Commanders because he’s a fan of the team, and bought the Sixers because he’s a fan of real estate.

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Two Whoppers Junior @jasonthee.bsky.social · 13d

I would love to see this turned into a one-act.

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Two Whoppers Junior @jasonthee.bsky.social · 13d

Ted Nugent feat. special guest Lee Greenwood

Two Whoppers Junior @jasonthee.bsky.social · 15d

Astonishing that the Cardinals - the sanctified, ”play the right way” Cardinals - cut him loose.

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Two Whoppers Junior @jasonthee.bsky.social · 15d

...I said "boo-urns"

Two Whoppers Junior @jasonthee.bsky.social · 16d

They could have half-assed the accents and few would care, but they made a love letter to Delco instead. I watch this show and feel like I'm in the 700 level at the Vet (complimentary)

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Two Whoppers Junior @jasonthee.bsky.social · 16d

(to the tune of American Woman) 🎵PERPETUAL GUMBO...

Tuppence Pennywise The Clown @fabulucy.bsky.social · 16d

And the ‘Best names off of the internet today’ award goes to…

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Two Whoppers Junior @jasonthee.bsky.social · 16d

"Manure, it's not so bad. It's 'nor', which is good. And a 'ma' in front of it. 'Ma-nure'. They say very nasty things about it..."

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Two Whoppers Junior @jasonthee.bsky.social · 17d

“If the music’s square, that’s because I like it square.”

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Two Whoppers Junior @jasonthee.bsky.social · 22d

This is Chuck Amato erasure and it won’t be tolerated.

Two Whoppers Junior @jasonthee.bsky.social · 23d

Wow. RIP Mr. Bean

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