Jimmy L 📚
@jimmylabe.bsky.social
710 followers 1.1K following 7.6K posts
I used to but not anymore.
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jimmylabe.bsky.social
I just want to be autistic enough to pay off my credit card.
jimmylabe.bsky.social
he can pardon them before he leaves but not from states' prosecution.
jimmylabe.bsky.social
sorry, innocent mistake. i was aiming for the head next to his.
jimmylabe.bsky.social
why do they always take 3 vials?
one to drop, one to drink, and one to send to the lab.
jimmylabe.bsky.social
Santa had a list of who was good and who was bad so he'd know who to fuck but somebody stole the list and replaced it with the Epstein client list and suddenly Santa says he's celibate
jimmylabe.bsky.social
we must break the American people of this foul inclination to agree.
jimmylabe.bsky.social
they really just wanted the flotilla. i don't think the Israeli navy had any.
and then what to do about the flotilla's occupants? you gotta send them someplace, right? all in all, Greece sounds nice. maybe I could get sent there. I think I'll start a flotilla in Oakland.
jimmylabe.bsky.social
I got Alexa up my ass asking if I made a poopy.
jimmylabe.bsky.social
isn't she a famous gastrointestinal disease?
jimmylabe.bsky.social
you need to answer YES to "Would you date a mercy killer?"
jimmylabe.bsky.social
you're thinking of a cellmate.
jimmylabe.bsky.social
I'm going to stand really close to you and see if I can get a contact block.
jimmylabe.bsky.social
If you're moving to Moscow, look for a basement apartment.
jimmylabe.bsky.social
I employed a similar strategy way back when Nixon took us off the Acapulco Gold standard.
jimmylabe.bsky.social
you needed a BANNISTER.
jimmylabe.bsky.social
I just hate being called.
Reposted by Jimmy L 📚
unfitz.bsky.social
I haven’t been the same since I walked in on my parents having sex.

Mom thought it was pretty amazing that I could walk while having sex, though.
jimmylabe.bsky.social
I thought it said, "I walked on my parents having sex."
jimmylabe.bsky.social
Claus deserved what he got. I didn't like the way he looked at me.
jimmylabe.bsky.social
Booing is how Philly folks say hello when they're not close enough to punch you.
jimmylabe.bsky.social
how much diarrhea can it give you before you have to refill it?
jimmylabe.bsky.social
I could never do that because my dad was already bent.
jimmylabe.bsky.social
i'm as high as the stars. i can't even find myself on a map.
jimmylabe.bsky.social
let me know if there's anything i can do to ruin your career. 🤪
jimmylabe.bsky.social
there's no good reason to transition from hamster wheels.