Juice
@juiceautomatica.bsky.social
I'm originally from Pittsburgh - you know, the place with the weird sandwiches they always talk about after commercials during NFL playoff games. (he/him)
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Rescheduling a morning meeting to the afternoon and then showing up obviously having gotten a haircut.
January 6, 2026 at 4:30 PM
Rescheduling a morning meeting to the afternoon and then showing up obviously having gotten a haircut.
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*honey company makes bottle bear shaped*
Bees: WHAT THE HELL MAN
Bees: WHAT THE HELL MAN
January 6, 2026 at 11:42 PM
*honey company makes bottle bear shaped*
Bees: WHAT THE HELL MAN
Bees: WHAT THE HELL MAN
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No one at the rap battle will wait for me to type my prompts
November 25, 2025 at 12:24 PM
No one at the rap battle will wait for me to type my prompts
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[about to turn off a light switch with wet hands]
This will be the time it happens
This will be the time it happens
December 22, 2025 at 7:40 PM
[about to turn off a light switch with wet hands]
This will be the time it happens
This will be the time it happens
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When I was in high school we made 69 jokes but the economy is so bad kids these days can only joke about 67
December 12, 2025 at 11:29 PM
When I was in high school we made 69 jokes but the economy is so bad kids these days can only joke about 67
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absolutely monday pilled. i’m toil-maxxing. going drudgery mode. stumblecore. hitting my slog goals.
December 8, 2025 at 1:37 PM
absolutely monday pilled. i’m toil-maxxing. going drudgery mode. stumblecore. hitting my slog goals.
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This is how we’re doing performance reviews from now on. Tag yourself.
December 10, 2025 at 3:38 PM
This is how we’re doing performance reviews from now on. Tag yourself.
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Glad I learned how to conserve water in elementary school so AI can suggest glue as a pizza topping
December 10, 2025 at 2:26 AM
Glad I learned how to conserve water in elementary school so AI can suggest glue as a pizza topping
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Big sandwich lunch spot called Soup or Hero
November 21, 2025 at 5:05 PM
Big sandwich lunch spot called Soup or Hero
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It is very funny that this Pope is just going to get jerseys from now on. Everyone decided that's what this Pope likes and that is it. It's like if your grandmother got you a puzzle for Christmas one year and you said you liked it so your entire extended family is like "oh that's the puzzle kid"
Spike Lee just blessed Pope Leo with a custom Knicks jersey during his visit to the Vatican, just one week after the Pope was gifted a custom Chicago Bulls one.
Spike Lee Blesses Pope Leo with Knicks Jersey
Spike Lee just blessed Pope Leo with a custom Knicks jersey during his visit to the Vatican, just one week after the Pope was gifted a custom Chicago Bulls one.
www.vulture.com
November 16, 2025 at 3:07 AM
It is very funny that this Pope is just going to get jerseys from now on. Everyone decided that's what this Pope likes and that is it. It's like if your grandmother got you a puzzle for Christmas one year and you said you liked it so your entire extended family is like "oh that's the puzzle kid"
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Putting an apple inside a pig’s mouth before you roast it is sick shit. Serial killer stuff.
November 13, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Putting an apple inside a pig’s mouth before you roast it is sick shit. Serial killer stuff.
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Me: we'll cross that bridge when we come to it
[2 minutes later, at the bridge]
Me: Oh shit oh fuck oh no
[2 minutes later, at the bridge]
Me: Oh shit oh fuck oh no
October 30, 2025 at 3:35 PM
Me: we'll cross that bridge when we come to it
[2 minutes later, at the bridge]
Me: Oh shit oh fuck oh no
[2 minutes later, at the bridge]
Me: Oh shit oh fuck oh no
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wife: why r u putting garlic in ur pants
me: so dracula won’t try to eat my ass
wife: why would dracula try to eat ur ass
me: he won’t. the garlic- r u even listening
me: so dracula won’t try to eat my ass
wife: why would dracula try to eat ur ass
me: he won’t. the garlic- r u even listening
October 31, 2024 at 6:29 PM
wife: why r u putting garlic in ur pants
me: so dracula won’t try to eat my ass
wife: why would dracula try to eat ur ass
me: he won’t. the garlic- r u even listening
me: so dracula won’t try to eat my ass
wife: why would dracula try to eat ur ass
me: he won’t. the garlic- r u even listening
Reposted by Juice
An order of chicken fingers is called a hand. “Gimme a hand of fingies,” you say. If you want dipping sauce you ask for them to “paint the nails.”
October 31, 2025 at 4:25 PM
An order of chicken fingers is called a hand. “Gimme a hand of fingies,” you say. If you want dipping sauce you ask for them to “paint the nails.”
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Not book smart, not street smart, but a secret third kind of smart (not)
September 19, 2025 at 2:44 AM
Not book smart, not street smart, but a secret third kind of smart (not)
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a day in the life video of me would honestly be interesting to see, for only me. I would love to see what i do every day. because frankly i have no idea
October 19, 2025 at 7:21 AM
a day in the life video of me would honestly be interesting to see, for only me. I would love to see what i do every day. because frankly i have no idea
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this is the most like a mike tyson's punch out guy i have ever seen anyone look
October 14, 2025 at 3:36 PM
this is the most like a mike tyson's punch out guy i have ever seen anyone look
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good morning only to people who aren't actively ruining other people's lives
October 11, 2025 at 1:10 PM
good morning only to people who aren't actively ruining other people's lives
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billboard: hey look at me
me: can’t I’m driving
billboard: come on look
me: eyes on the road
billboard: pls it’s important
me: fine what is it
billboard: drive safely lol
me: can’t I’m driving
billboard: come on look
me: eyes on the road
billboard: pls it’s important
me: fine what is it
billboard: drive safely lol
April 20, 2024 at 10:16 PM
billboard: hey look at me
me: can’t I’m driving
billboard: come on look
me: eyes on the road
billboard: pls it’s important
me: fine what is it
billboard: drive safely lol
me: can’t I’m driving
billboard: come on look
me: eyes on the road
billboard: pls it’s important
me: fine what is it
billboard: drive safely lol
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i will vote for anybody who fixes the headlight brightness situation
October 9, 2025 at 4:11 AM
i will vote for anybody who fixes the headlight brightness situation
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coworker i don't know very well and i are at opposite ends of the bus platform, each pretending to be too deep in our phones to notice the other. i love this for us.
June 11, 2025 at 1:17 PM
coworker i don't know very well and i are at opposite ends of the bus platform, each pretending to be too deep in our phones to notice the other. i love this for us.
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look ai is completely destroying the world with massive pollution and is using up water at a concerning rate but at least you get to use technology that lies to you and is the primary propaganda mechanism by fascists
October 5, 2025 at 3:11 PM
look ai is completely destroying the world with massive pollution and is using up water at a concerning rate but at least you get to use technology that lies to you and is the primary propaganda mechanism by fascists