mattitations
@mattitations.bsky.social
astros, longhorns, cougars, beatles, dylan, books, ⚖️
pfp: adhoganart.com
pfp: adhoganart.com
Pinned
“money, like vodka, does strange things to a man. a merchant was dying in our town. before he died, he asked to be served a dish of honey and ate all his money and lottery tickets with it, so that nobody would get them.”
—gooseberries, by anton chekhov
—gooseberries, by anton chekhov
this is what I want for automatic weapons. someday I want people to look back and just shake their heads in disbelief at the literal cities of adults and children that we allowed to be brutally murdered.
I lived thru the end of public smoking. Early in my career I presented to city councils who were smoking, in front of audiences who were smoking.
Smoking in restaurants, airplanes, hospitals…
All of that seems insane now, but it was very controversial when we DID change it.
We CAN change things.
Smoking in restaurants, airplanes, hospitals…
All of that seems insane now, but it was very controversial when we DID change it.
We CAN change things.
It’s crazy that people used to be able to just smoke cigarettes wherever they wanted
December 16, 2025 at 12:02 AM
this is what I want for automatic weapons. someday I want people to look back and just shake their heads in disbelief at the literal cities of adults and children that we allowed to be brutally murdered.
I was on a work zoom call when one of the participants was like, hey mike sorry to interrupt but you should turn on cnn. they’re storming the capitol.
no more work was done that day.
no more work was done that day.
what would be the funniest way to find out It happened
like via Jeff Passan or something
like via Jeff Passan or something
December 15, 2025 at 6:38 PM
I was on a work zoom call when one of the participants was like, hey mike sorry to interrupt but you should turn on cnn. they’re storming the capitol.
no more work was done that day.
no more work was done that day.
Reposted by mattitations
Overheard in the supermarket. Two teenagers.
1: 'Where's Dad?'
2 (with ineffable weariness): 'In the cheese aisle, having the time of his life.'
1: 'Where's Dad?'
2 (with ineffable weariness): 'In the cheese aisle, having the time of his life.'
December 15, 2025 at 11:35 AM
Overheard in the supermarket. Two teenagers.
1: 'Where's Dad?'
2 (with ineffable weariness): 'In the cheese aisle, having the time of his life.'
1: 'Where's Dad?'
2 (with ineffable weariness): 'In the cheese aisle, having the time of his life.'
I have seen these movies literally hundreds of times. we had princess bride and stand by me on vhs when I was a kid, not to mention the dozens of times I’ve seen the other absolute all-timers here. jfc what madness we encounter every day
Rob Reiner's first seven films: 1. Spinal Tap. 2. The Sure Thing. 3. Stand By Me. 4. THE PRINCESS BRIDE. 5. WHEN HARRY MET SALLY. 6. Misery 7. A Few Good Men. Good lord. Even Spielberg included 1941 in his first seven.
And that was after playing Michael Stivic. I hope this news isn't true. But...
And that was after playing Michael Stivic. I hope this news isn't true. But...
December 15, 2025 at 3:43 AM
I have seen these movies literally hundreds of times. we had princess bride and stand by me on vhs when I was a kid, not to mention the dozens of times I’ve seen the other absolute all-timers here. jfc what madness we encounter every day
I knew that meditation app was a waste of money
There is an energy field connecting all living beings, except for you.
December 15, 2025 at 1:55 AM
I knew that meditation app was a waste of money
that’s not erika kirk, that’s a picture of jd vance fed into a gender-swapping photo app
these mfers love talking about God while radiating evil like an unshielded reactor core
December 14, 2025 at 5:16 PM
that’s not erika kirk, that’s a picture of jd vance fed into a gender-swapping photo app
I logged into facebook for a family reason and saw that there is some absolute hot ass drama going on in my hoa. might become my new favorite show.
December 13, 2025 at 11:38 PM
I logged into facebook for a family reason and saw that there is some absolute hot ass drama going on in my hoa. might become my new favorite show.
by “long artsy stretches” do you mean the famous gilliganesque sequences where they show a character methodically and meticulously implementing a plan? ymmv but I find these to be gripping: “what is s/he doing? why? what are they trying to accomplish?” it always pays off
I was asked what I thought now that #pluribus has reached seven episodes.
I’m not seeing any of the liberal subtext some folks are seeing. But I’ve learned to watch the show by fast forwarding through the long, artsy stretches where no one speaks.
There were exactly 2 lines of interesting dialogue.
I’m not seeing any of the liberal subtext some folks are seeing. But I’ve learned to watch the show by fast forwarding through the long, artsy stretches where no one speaks.
There were exactly 2 lines of interesting dialogue.
December 13, 2025 at 5:31 AM
by “long artsy stretches” do you mean the famous gilliganesque sequences where they show a character methodically and meticulously implementing a plan? ymmv but I find these to be gripping: “what is s/he doing? why? what are they trying to accomplish?” it always pays off
I think about this passage from the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy allllllllllll the time
December 13, 2025 at 5:15 AM
I think about this passage from the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy allllllllllll the time
they say you can’t go home again but it’s comforting that every time I go back to austin I see they’re still doing construction on 183, as they have been for 30 years.
December 13, 2025 at 4:48 AM
they say you can’t go home again but it’s comforting that every time I go back to austin I see they’re still doing construction on 183, as they have been for 30 years.
thank god this isn’t me. I’m mid at both
Attorneys love to be like “I’m bad at math, that’s why I’m a lawyer 🤣” and I’m sorry but a lot of you aren’t good at being a lawyer either
December 11, 2025 at 11:07 PM
thank god this isn’t me. I’m mid at both
that picture of ms. James is giving
December 11, 2025 at 8:46 PM
that picture of ms. James is giving
the chemtrails are beautiful
I think I’ve been thinking about pluribus too much
I think I’ve been thinking about pluribus too much
December 10, 2025 at 11:38 PM
the chemtrails are beautiful
I think I’ve been thinking about pluribus too much
I think I’ve been thinking about pluribus too much
hey guys it’s the
December 10, 2025 at 2:47 PM
hey guys it’s the
this guy is like a character from an oliver sacks book:
“he seemed to believe that he was the handsomest, smartest, most powerful man in the world. we gave him trains to play with & he would yell choo-choo & demand his medals (which were made of plastic and kept in the nurse’s drawer).”
“he seemed to believe that he was the handsomest, smartest, most powerful man in the world. we gave him trains to play with & he would yell choo-choo & demand his medals (which were made of plastic and kept in the nurse’s drawer).”
This transcript is like reading some random, senile 85-year old bigoted uncle being put in charge of U.S. foreign policy. www.politico.com/news/2025/12...
Full transcript: POLITICO's interview with Donald Trump
The president sat for an in-depth interview with POLITICO's Dasha Burns.
www.politico.com
December 10, 2025 at 1:18 PM
this guy is like a character from an oliver sacks book:
“he seemed to believe that he was the handsomest, smartest, most powerful man in the world. we gave him trains to play with & he would yell choo-choo & demand his medals (which were made of plastic and kept in the nurse’s drawer).”
“he seemed to believe that he was the handsomest, smartest, most powerful man in the world. we gave him trains to play with & he would yell choo-choo & demand his medals (which were made of plastic and kept in the nurse’s drawer).”
ain’t no myth ❤️
Random thread of my favorite gifs that I (mostly) made myself. (This is the only one that's not mine!)
December 9, 2025 at 9:43 PM
ain’t no myth ❤️
after doing today’s puzzle in the new yorker, I downloaded mr. last’s audiobook.
this will be the, uh, third book about the history crosswords I’ve read this year.
this will be the, uh, third book about the history crosswords I’ve read this year.
read more about the (surprisingly) radical history of the crossword in my book!
www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/723796...
www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/723796...
Across the Universe by Natan Last: 9780553387704 | PenguinRandomHouse.com: Books
An entertaining and eye-opening look at the history of crossword puzzles, who constructs them, and why crosswords matter as both a reflection of and influence on our culture "Should be at the top of ...
www.penguinrandomhouse.com
December 8, 2025 at 9:38 PM
after doing today’s puzzle in the new yorker, I downloaded mr. last’s audiobook.
this will be the, uh, third book about the history crosswords I’ve read this year.
this will be the, uh, third book about the history crosswords I’ve read this year.
the kind you do take home to mother
December 8, 2025 at 6:42 PM
the kind you do take home to mother
golly you love to see it
December 8, 2025 at 6:00 PM
golly you love to see it
in law school we learned how to do legal research in the law library in physical books. I haven’t looked up a case in a reporter in 16 years of practicing
(o’connor’s are a different story. I use those—which they didn’t teach us about—all. the. time.)
(o’connor’s are a different story. I use those—which they didn’t teach us about—all. the. time.)
What skill did you master that you will never, ever use again?
Archival research feels like it’s full of these, but then there’s always one throwback archive with a microfiche machine or a paper catalogue (or, indeed: NARA)
Archival research feels like it’s full of these, but then there’s always one throwback archive with a microfiche machine or a paper catalogue (or, indeed: NARA)
What skill did you master that you will never, ever use again?
Summer of '95 I had a job assembling single-use film cameras, which I did enough that I can still perform the actions. I don't think they even sell them anymore, but even if they do I'm certainly never going to be making them again!
Summer of '95 I had a job assembling single-use film cameras, which I did enough that I can still perform the actions. I don't think they even sell them anymore, but even if they do I'm certainly never going to be making them again!
December 8, 2025 at 1:31 PM
in law school we learned how to do legal research in the law library in physical books. I haven’t looked up a case in a reporter in 16 years of practicing
(o’connor’s are a different story. I use those—which they didn’t teach us about—all. the. time.)
(o’connor’s are a different story. I use those—which they didn’t teach us about—all. the. time.)
being a Texans fan feels good again
December 8, 2025 at 4:30 AM
being a Texans fan feels good again
soup is just wet food
December 8, 2025 at 4:19 AM
soup is just wet food
I have this joke about dionysus but it’s kind of whiny.
I have this joke about Persephone but I can't tell it for a few months.
I have this joke about Thucydides but it's a trap.
December 8, 2025 at 4:06 AM
I have this joke about dionysus but it’s kind of whiny.