Paula Blart, LADY Mall Cop, Ultra Ph.D., IQ: 212
banner
memevvitch.bsky.social
Paula Blart, LADY Mall Cop, Ultra Ph.D., IQ: 212
@memevvitch.bsky.social
Jenkem truther. Megastructurist. IQ: 213.
C[l/r]i[n/t]ical Psychologist, License #4206969.

I'm sorry that my IQ is so high (214).
Pinned
You ever stop to consider that at any given moment you could DIE and then your friends have to try to find ways to grieve their loss of you so they go to your Twitter page and reread your pinned tweet about jenkem being real over and over and that's your legacy now?
I originally liked the initial post being quoted because I wanted to believe it, but unfortunately I think I have to agree with this guy
I think people sometimes have a weirdly idealized view of historical mob violence... The cases where mobs dragged some rich person or aristocrat into the streets are exceptional
worth noting that the second rich people stopped being afraid of mobs tearing them limb from limb, they stopped building libraries and opera houses and stuff and started ripping the copper wiring out of the walls of society instead
February 5, 2026 at 4:07 AM
Reposted by Paula Blart, LADY Mall Cop, Ultra Ph.D., IQ: 212
Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…
February 4, 2026 at 12:43 AM
Reposted by Paula Blart, LADY Mall Cop, Ultra Ph.D., IQ: 212
Highlighting the speaker who stood in front of the Surprise mayor and told him to consider what the Mayor of Ohrdruf must’ve thought before he died by suicide: “He might have thought ‘how is this my fault I had no jurisdiction over this’ maybe he said ‘this site was not subject to local zoning.’”
February 4, 2026 at 6:43 AM
Reposted by Paula Blart, LADY Mall Cop, Ultra Ph.D., IQ: 212
Bezos isn't destroying the Washington Post because it isn't profitable. He's destroying the Washington Post because he's calculated that a robust free press threatens the ability of his class to warp society around their interests
February 4, 2026 at 2:24 PM
Reposted by Paula Blart, LADY Mall Cop, Ultra Ph.D., IQ: 212
February 3, 2026 at 3:52 PM
February 4, 2026 at 4:02 AM
Reposted by Paula Blart, LADY Mall Cop, Ultra Ph.D., IQ: 212
I have literally never been more sane
February 4, 2026 at 12:08 AM
spent the majority of my evening meditation session vividly fantasizing about beating Donald Trump with a baseball bat. not sure that's how you're supposed to meditate.
February 2, 2026 at 3:38 AM
Reposted by Paula Blart, LADY Mall Cop, Ultra Ph.D., IQ: 212
a lot of people are being radicalized by ICE this week so please remember that the most important thing when someone comes to any kind of radical politics is to immediately scold them for doing activism wrong as someone who has been doing it much longer
January 12, 2026 at 1:12 AM
can't believe they released the poo tape
What do you MEAN the president audibly SHIT himself live on camera and they immediately cancelled the press conference and rushed everyone out of the room like it's a fire drill, and it happened two days ago, and I'm just hearing about it NOW?
February 1, 2026 at 10:04 PM
Reposted by Paula Blart, LADY Mall Cop, Ultra Ph.D., IQ: 212
Wall-to-wall discourse around sexual violence is pretty unbearable, and I say that as someone who reports on discourse about sexual violence. For anyone who needs to hear this, it is okay to take a break. It is okay to stop scrolling or to not be able to come up with something to say right now.
February 1, 2026 at 6:35 PM
Reposted by Paula Blart, LADY Mall Cop, Ultra Ph.D., IQ: 212
Literally obsessed with this pic I got of one Cedar Waxwing getting very mad at another for drinking in the same spot as him despite there being a whole stream
January 30, 2026 at 2:34 AM
Reposted by Paula Blart, LADY Mall Cop, Ultra Ph.D., IQ: 212
Like the old saying goes, when you have your opponent on the ropes you make a deal to give him 1-2 weeks to recover
Latest intel: The 5 govt funding bills will pass, & the 6th, the DHS bill, will get a continuing resolution to buy time to negotiate whatever these conditions in ICE are. The fight right now btwn Schumer & the White House is how long that CR will be. The WH wants 3 months; Schumer wants 1-2 weeks.
January 29, 2026 at 8:59 PM
Reposted by Paula Blart, LADY Mall Cop, Ultra Ph.D., IQ: 212
straight up, organizing that does this very thing is something that has been lacking in labor movement spaces for -generations- and we are far weaker and far less capable of mass mobilization because of it.
Something that sticks with me from this training: if you’re forming a group/organization, it’s important to spend time together outside of “the work”. Share meals together, grab coffee, etc.

You’re going to go through some shit together. This work is hard. Strong bonds help you navigate tough times
This ICE Rapid Response seminar has 5000 people in it. People are activated.
January 29, 2026 at 2:26 PM
Reposted by Paula Blart, LADY Mall Cop, Ultra Ph.D., IQ: 212
one of the agents said “okay we know” when we were whistling so i leaned in and whistled louder and he threatened to pepper spray me. i then said “are you scared of a fucking whistle dawg” and he very meekly said “no i’m not scared of a whistle”
January 28, 2026 at 4:30 PM
Reposted by Paula Blart, LADY Mall Cop, Ultra Ph.D., IQ: 212
we're gonna make them get the mark of the beast (a twee tattoo of either a monstera leaf or their pronouns)
January 27, 2026 at 4:39 AM
Reposted by Paula Blart, LADY Mall Cop, Ultra Ph.D., IQ: 212
Bovino should get back to the job he was born for: getting flustered at the antics of Beavis and Butthead
January 26, 2026 at 6:59 PM
Reposted by Paula Blart, LADY Mall Cop, Ultra Ph.D., IQ: 212
I do think that a possibly underrated dynamic in The Horrors is that the Right as it has reconstituted itself under Trump legitimately can’t understand sincere moral or physical courage
January 26, 2026 at 2:13 AM
January 23, 2026 at 4:31 AM
Reposted by Paula Blart, LADY Mall Cop, Ultra Ph.D., IQ: 212
Congress passed the Taft-Hartley Act in 1947 (over Truman's veto) to make general strikes so incredibly difficult to organize that there hasn't been one since.

That there is a general strike happening in a major US city on such short notice is nothing short of a miracle.
National media should really be covering the fact thay every major school, museum, and arts institution in the Twin Cities, and hundreds of local businesses are closed tomorrow to protest federal occupation.

Nothing like this at this scale has happened anywhere in America anytime in living memory.
January 22, 2026 at 9:28 PM
Never have I ever been more excited to use my ultra PhD
Calling all the PhDs I know to make monumental annoyances of themselves (and honestly, who better)
January 22, 2026 at 1:39 PM
I think I could wield the Ring of Power for good.
January 22, 2026 at 1:28 PM
yes the world is filled with cosmic horrors beyond imagination but one of my patients said something so beautiful today that it made me cry, and so idk, probably there's something to be appreciated about how not everything is all bad all the time? idk give me a break man I'm tired
January 21, 2026 at 10:46 PM
Reposted by Paula Blart, LADY Mall Cop, Ultra Ph.D., IQ: 212
I have been told that this undercover ICE agent tried to get observers to scan a QR code “for his website”. The QR code did not resolve to a link.

DO NOT SCAN UNKNOWN QR CODES FROM STRANGERS.

This is a massive security risk! Bad things can happen to you if you do it!

Stay frosty, friends.
Every day some story breaks me some. Today it’s the guy who approached parents at a school patrol, told them he was with Indivisible, and asked about how the patrol system works. The parents gave vague answers, followed him back to his car — and of course it was ICE.
January 21, 2026 at 3:29 PM
I think it's fine if Europeans hate me. not my problem.
January 21, 2026 at 3:54 PM