functional moron
@fiveburger.bsky.social
timberwolvespilled
he/him
he/him
Pinned
the wolves are good
even if it doesn’t result in the immediate consequences we might want- please submit stuff to this. if there’s even a chance of consequences for these atrocities in the future it is going to be good to have a clean record of all of them
Gov. Tim Walz said the state is creating a "database of atrocities" by federal agents against Minnesotans.
The Minnesota Attorney General's Office has launched a form where residents can share information about the actions of federal agents in Minnesota: www.ag.state.mn.us/Federal-Acti...
The Minnesota Attorney General's Office has launched a form where residents can share information about the actions of federal agents in Minnesota: www.ag.state.mn.us/Federal-Acti...
January 16, 2026 at 3:34 AM
even if it doesn’t result in the immediate consequences we might want- please submit stuff to this. if there’s even a chance of consequences for these atrocities in the future it is going to be good to have a clean record of all of them
Reposted by functional moron
“we’re gonna do an insurrection act! or we’re gonna build a database. and maybe call your parents and tell on you!“
January 16, 2026 at 2:18 AM
“we’re gonna do an insurrection act! or we’re gonna build a database. and maybe call your parents and tell on you!“
Reposted by functional moron
Today at the Whipple Federal Building in Minnesota while federal agents rushed the protest crowd, one agent is filmed pushing a protester and slipping on ICE. Another agent has his pepperball gun broken and he slips on the cartridge holder while dropping pepperballs all over.
January 16, 2026 at 12:59 AM
Today at the Whipple Federal Building in Minnesota while federal agents rushed the protest crowd, one agent is filmed pushing a protester and slipping on ICE. Another agent has his pepperball gun broken and he slips on the cartridge holder while dropping pepperballs all over.
lol yeah okay man bring it on
January 16, 2026 at 2:42 AM
lol yeah okay man bring it on
i hope ice doesn’t shoot anyone tonight
January 16, 2026 at 2:41 AM
i hope ice doesn’t shoot anyone tonight
hadn’t thought about the cooperation of willing informants part but this does make it seem relevant that most of the chuds who really love ICE spend basically no time ever in the communities that ICE is attacking
Revolutionary secret police usually have a fair bit of support, even enthusiasm, in the early phases of a revolution, and cooperation from willing informants is their lifeblood
January 16, 2026 at 1:14 AM
hadn’t thought about the cooperation of willing informants part but this does make it seem relevant that most of the chuds who really love ICE spend basically no time ever in the communities that ICE is attacking
Reposted by functional moron
13-year-old step kid just told me their friend wasn’t at school today because he had a really bad reaction from the tear gas.
And he wasn’t even outside.
And he wasn’t even outside.
January 15, 2026 at 11:52 PM
13-year-old step kid just told me their friend wasn’t at school today because he had a really bad reaction from the tear gas.
And he wasn’t even outside.
And he wasn’t even outside.
anyone got any good news from today? big, small, personal, societal whatever? just kinda want some good things
January 16, 2026 at 12:44 AM
anyone got any good news from today? big, small, personal, societal whatever? just kinda want some good things
i love that i can just see a random highlight and have grady on the call
January 16, 2026 at 12:16 AM
i love that i can just see a random highlight and have grady on the call
Reposted by functional moron
They're only $2000 away from their goal. Please give if you can!
Hey folks Calvary Food Shelf has been helping out people in Minneapolis for 30 years, and now they’re ramping up to meet the crisis, including doing home deliveries so people don’t have to risk going out.
They’re just over halfway to their current goal—let’s get them all the way, shall we?
They’re just over halfway to their current goal—let’s get them all the way, shall we?
Support Calvary Food Shelf: Emergency Response Fundraiser on GiveMN
Help us respond to urgent community needs
www.givemn.org
January 16, 2026 at 12:08 AM
They're only $2000 away from their goal. Please give if you can!
Reposted by functional moron
At one point today, there were 283 Minnesota attorneys doing a training on how to file emergency habeas petitions to keep our neighbors from being shipped out of state and held indefinitely.
That would be the second largest law firm in the state. And that training was just put together this week.
That would be the second largest law firm in the state. And that training was just put together this week.
January 15, 2026 at 11:48 PM
At one point today, there were 283 Minnesota attorneys doing a training on how to file emergency habeas petitions to keep our neighbors from being shipped out of state and held indefinitely.
That would be the second largest law firm in the state. And that training was just put together this week.
That would be the second largest law firm in the state. And that training was just put together this week.
i don’t really know what the solution is but sort of a fundamental belief of mine is that it’s bad for a sport if intentionally losing could even be debatably a good thing for a team let alone obviously a good thing
Tanking is corrosive.
Tanking is justified.
Tanking is smart strategy.
If you hold all of these views simultaneously, well, welcome to the club.
New from me:
www.theringer.com/2026/01/15/n...
Tanking is justified.
Tanking is smart strategy.
If you hold all of these views simultaneously, well, welcome to the club.
New from me:
www.theringer.com/2026/01/15/n...
How the NBA Learned to Love Losing
Tanking used to be a scandal. Now it’s just good business.
The NBA keeps trying to fix tanking. It’s no longer a scandal—it’s a skill.
www.theringer.com
January 15, 2026 at 11:41 PM
i don’t really know what the solution is but sort of a fundamental belief of mine is that it’s bad for a sport if intentionally losing could even be debatably a good thing for a team let alone obviously a good thing
keep going “hey how’s it goin-oh yeah, well uh”
January 15, 2026 at 10:43 PM
keep going “hey how’s it goin-oh yeah, well uh”
this is such an embarrassing time to live in
#BREAKING: Venezuela's Machado says she 'presented' her Nobel Prize to Trump
January 15, 2026 at 10:03 PM
this is such an embarrassing time to live in
Reposted by functional moron
Federal agents left a Mexican restaurant in St. Paul on Jan. 11 as patrons shouted at them, saying they weren't welcome and needed a judicial warrant.
In a post on Facebook, the restaurant thanked customers who "stood strong and protected our community."
Video by Aldora Gutierrez via Storyful.
In a post on Facebook, the restaurant thanked customers who "stood strong and protected our community."
Video by Aldora Gutierrez via Storyful.
January 15, 2026 at 9:49 PM
Federal agents left a Mexican restaurant in St. Paul on Jan. 11 as patrons shouted at them, saying they weren't welcome and needed a judicial warrant.
In a post on Facebook, the restaurant thanked customers who "stood strong and protected our community."
Video by Aldora Gutierrez via Storyful.
In a post on Facebook, the restaurant thanked customers who "stood strong and protected our community."
Video by Aldora Gutierrez via Storyful.
Reposted by functional moron
I'm honestly surprised it's taken so long... but I just heard about my first friend who was hurt due to federal agents driving recklessly on Minneapolis streets.
She's injured, but ok. She was on a bike and 3 agents ran a red light, causing her to crash as she tried to get across the intersection.
She's injured, but ok. She was on a bike and 3 agents ran a red light, causing her to crash as she tried to get across the intersection.
January 15, 2026 at 8:44 PM
I'm honestly surprised it's taken so long... but I just heard about my first friend who was hurt due to federal agents driving recklessly on Minneapolis streets.
She's injured, but ok. She was on a bike and 3 agents ran a red light, causing her to crash as she tried to get across the intersection.
She's injured, but ok. She was on a bike and 3 agents ran a red light, causing her to crash as she tried to get across the intersection.
Reposted by functional moron
The NYT got one thing right, alcoholic losers who start drinking at 10am daily are the best rural America has to offer.
January 15, 2026 at 3:39 PM
The NYT got one thing right, alcoholic losers who start drinking at 10am daily are the best rural America has to offer.
Reposted by functional moron
The Minnesota Attorney General's Office is asking residents to share information about the actions of federal agents in Minnesota, including those from the Department of Homeland Security, that have affected them or someone close to them.
Federal Action Reporting Form
This form is for reporting incidents or effects related to or caused by federal actions in Minnesota, such as business closures, reduced healthcare access, or use of physical force.
bit.ly
January 15, 2026 at 8:11 PM
The Minnesota Attorney General's Office is asking residents to share information about the actions of federal agents in Minnesota, including those from the Department of Homeland Security, that have affected them or someone close to them.
will be kinda funny if the thing that actually gets people off of twitter is elon literally kicking off all the libs
For reasons that are not immediately clear, Twitter has suspended the campaign account of the senior US Senator from Minnesota, who is also rumored to be a potential gubernatorial candidate.
January 15, 2026 at 8:06 PM
will be kinda funny if the thing that actually gets people off of twitter is elon literally kicking off all the libs
Reposted by functional moron
Stunning photos from Minneapolis, including this one by John Locher for the Associated Press. www.theatlantic.com/photography/...
January 15, 2026 at 7:22 PM
Stunning photos from Minneapolis, including this one by John Locher for the Associated Press. www.theatlantic.com/photography/...
please share this with everyone you know, it is incredibly important. do not put your feelings above the safety of the vulnerable
Please read and share with anyone who might be planning on counterprotesting in Cedar-Riverside this weekend
January 15, 2026 at 6:33 PM
please share this with everyone you know, it is incredibly important. do not put your feelings above the safety of the vulnerable
they are doing this because they want to scare all the legal immigrant workers that take care of us, so that when they flash bang more children there are fewer people to help them
The Trump administration has successfully subpoenaed information on 7,000 Hennepin Healthcare employees, coming amid concern about ICE activities at Minnesota hospitals.
More: https://bringmethenews.com/minnesota-news/homeland-security-subpoenas-hennepin-healthcare-employee-information
More: https://bringmethenews.com/minnesota-news/homeland-security-subpoenas-hennepin-healthcare-employee-information
January 15, 2026 at 6:21 PM
they are doing this because they want to scare all the legal immigrant workers that take care of us, so that when they flash bang more children there are fewer people to help them
ended up at a sheriff operation and asked them if they were mad at ICE for blowing up their shit. one said “everything is certainly a lot busier” another said “i’m not gonna comment on that”
January 15, 2026 at 5:53 PM
ended up at a sheriff operation and asked them if they were mad at ICE for blowing up their shit. one said “everything is certainly a lot busier” another said “i’m not gonna comment on that”
Reposted by functional moron
This is honestly like the median random resident vibe in Minneapolis and St. Paul right now
Posts from Minneapolis residents read like they'll be read in voiceover in a Ken Burns-like doc one day
January 15, 2026 at 4:54 PM
This is honestly like the median random resident vibe in Minneapolis and St. Paul right now
