Christina Holland
@mortalwombat.info
Firebase JS at Google, wrote for Cracked. Blog posts, stories, and art at mortalwombat.info
A lot of people don't realize they are digging out the ground under their own feet
January 17, 2026 at 10:25 PM
A lot of people don't realize they are digging out the ground under their own feet
I'm pretty rabidly pro open immigration and a lot of people probably take it for granted like "of course you would be" but I know lots of immigrants that are like "of course it should be easy for the good ones like us but we can't let the gross scary ones get in"
January 17, 2026 at 10:25 PM
I'm pretty rabidly pro open immigration and a lot of people probably take it for granted like "of course you would be" but I know lots of immigrants that are like "of course it should be easy for the good ones like us but we can't let the gross scary ones get in"
"You can tell Putin - or is it Xi? - that this collectible isn't a toy, it's a sound financial investment and I got it at a steal"
January 17, 2026 at 6:53 PM
"You can tell Putin - or is it Xi? - that this collectible isn't a toy, it's a sound financial investment and I got it at a steal"
I'm glad Merritt reshared this because I want to tell you I learned the other day that Michelle Yeoh's first husband was named Dickson Poon
They should keep naming James Bond characters things like “Pussy Galore” but also apply it to men. Hi James I’m your CIA contact Dick Sucko. That’s my partner Jeffrey Cockwrangler
January 17, 2026 at 2:53 AM
I'm glad Merritt reshared this because I want to tell you I learned the other day that Michelle Yeoh's first husband was named Dickson Poon
I am at Tony's with a bottle of Macallan 18 and he is not even answering the door? Did I miss a text?
January 17, 2026 at 2:32 AM
I am at Tony's with a bottle of Macallan 18 and he is not even answering the door? Did I miss a text?
Like if you're on the inside and you work in the government or Palantir or whatever and you could fuck up the IT infrastructure pretty good, you'll be gone immediately so you have to figure out when's the best time and how to make it so they can't get it back running again in a couple days
January 17, 2026 at 2:27 AM
Like if you're on the inside and you work in the government or Palantir or whatever and you could fuck up the IT infrastructure pretty good, you'll be gone immediately so you have to figure out when's the best time and how to make it so they can't get it back running again in a couple days
Other than cowardice which I admit to having plenty of, the more practical thing causing most people to hesitate to do something drastic (I don't mean killing someone! I mean like something that will get you fired or in jail) is you only get to do it once so you have to figure out what to use it on
January 17, 2026 at 2:24 AM
Other than cowardice which I admit to having plenty of, the more practical thing causing most people to hesitate to do something drastic (I don't mean killing someone! I mean like something that will get you fired or in jail) is you only get to do it once so you have to figure out what to use it on
If elected I will take over and shut down Polymarket and turn the domain and trademark over to a dating website for swingers
January 16, 2026 at 11:48 PM
If elected I will take over and shut down Polymarket and turn the domain and trademark over to a dating website for swingers
Maybe I read it because someone linked it saying "I think there's a lot of valuable insights here" and I got to the bottom and thought "boy were they wrong"
January 16, 2026 at 10:49 PM
Maybe I read it because someone linked it saying "I think there's a lot of valuable insights here" and I got to the bottom and thought "boy were they wrong"
I think it's presumptuous to put "you might also like" links at the bottom of articles, because you're assuming I liked this one
January 16, 2026 at 10:47 PM
I think it's presumptuous to put "you might also like" links at the bottom of articles, because you're assuming I liked this one
I think one of the reasons Whiskey Friday with Tony Dokoupil makes me smile is it feels weirdly nostalgic and wholesome when everybody pretends to like something stupid ironically in order to make fun of it, and lets you be distracted from politics for a bit even if he is also a politics bad guy
January 16, 2026 at 7:52 PM
I think one of the reasons Whiskey Friday with Tony Dokoupil makes me smile is it feels weirdly nostalgic and wholesome when everybody pretends to like something stupid ironically in order to make fun of it, and lets you be distracted from politics for a bit even if he is also a politics bad guy
Personal stuff lately has made me face the lesson that you can never go home again. You can never restore how a friend group or community was "back when it was good" even if you find the people again. You can only move forward and hope to create something as good but it won't be the same thing
There are so many artists, writers, comedians, performers, producers, etc etc. who were on Twitter and that was it for them. Twitter is over and it’s not coming back, in any form, anywhere else.
January 16, 2026 at 7:24 PM
Personal stuff lately has made me face the lesson that you can never go home again. You can never restore how a friend group or community was "back when it was good" even if you find the people again. You can only move forward and hope to create something as good but it won't be the same thing
Most people are saying it was probably a bruise but it could also be an ulcer like he got some stress indigestion
“A bruise is internal bleeding”
In case anyone was still taking CBS News(max) seriously
In case anyone was still taking CBS News(max) seriously
January 16, 2026 at 4:41 PM
Most people are saying it was probably a bruise but it could also be an ulcer like he got some stress indigestion
Or like an alien probe scanning 1000 years later receives this signal
January 16, 2026 at 4:15 PM
Or like an alien probe scanning 1000 years later receives this signal
This would be such a poignant thing for a future scavenger to find in a post apocalyptic wasteland. Like they plug in a found phone and it dings with this
January 16, 2026 at 4:14 PM
This would be such a poignant thing for a future scavenger to find in a post apocalyptic wasteland. Like they plug in a found phone and it dings with this
Reposted by Christina Holland
Nobody asks brands like Black Rifle Coffee or whoever, whose entire personality is "we want to kill libs for sport" if they feel weird about alienating a majority of Americans.
Look at this absolute queen
January 16, 2026 at 3:51 PM
Nobody asks brands like Black Rifle Coffee or whoever, whose entire personality is "we want to kill libs for sport" if they feel weird about alienating a majority of Americans.
Now I'm imagining a scenario where they each have a different totally common cosmetic that's harmless as long as you don't mix it with one specific other kind of cosmetic like cleaners shouldn't mix ammonia and bleach, and it just so happens...
January 16, 2026 at 4:05 PM
Now I'm imagining a scenario where they each have a different totally common cosmetic that's harmless as long as you don't mix it with one specific other kind of cosmetic like cleaners shouldn't mix ammonia and bleach, and it just so happens...
My guess would be he reached out privately to the Trump admin and was like come on guys what's going on we're on the same side here but they haven't reached a resolution yet
Two days ago we learned that Federal agents showed up at a Washington Post reporter’s home, searched it, seized her phone and two laptops. We also learned that the Post's owner, Jeff Bezos, remained silent that day. No words of support.
Well, Thursday came and went and still nothing from Bezos.
Well, Thursday came and went and still nothing from Bezos.
January 16, 2026 at 3:59 PM
My guess would be he reached out privately to the Trump admin and was like come on guys what's going on we're on the same side here but they haven't reached a resolution yet
Sometimes we get so caught up in partisanship that we forget the very real people impacted by Whiskey Fridays with Tony Dokoupil
January 16, 2026 at 3:55 PM
Sometimes we get so caught up in partisanship that we forget the very real people impacted by Whiskey Fridays with Tony Dokoupil
"if I die I want my name to be remembered by all the youths of this nation" *monkey's paw curls*
The fact they added his name to the profanity filter is incredible
January 16, 2026 at 3:52 PM
"if I die I want my name to be remembered by all the youths of this nation" *monkey's paw curls*
I knew people who are like "it's vulgar and upsetting but I'd rather have a president who uses a few distasteful swears than [sharia or great replacement or whatever dystopia they are afraid Biden will bring]"
January 16, 2026 at 3:41 PM
I knew people who are like "it's vulgar and upsetting but I'd rather have a president who uses a few distasteful swears than [sharia or great replacement or whatever dystopia they are afraid Biden will bring]"
There really are a lot of people out there like this that focus on a swear like a bull on a cape. When the Access Hollywood tape came out a lot of people (not the ones at the top of course) genuinely thought the main problem was that Trump had said "the P-word" hence the "locker room talk" defense
I cannot imagine running this unless it was intended to mock and vilify the writer.
That kind of vile, dehumanizing language has no place at a nonviolent demonstration. | Opinion
January 16, 2026 at 3:28 PM
There really are a lot of people out there like this that focus on a swear like a bull on a cape. When the Access Hollywood tape came out a lot of people (not the ones at the top of course) genuinely thought the main problem was that Trump had said "the P-word" hence the "locker room talk" defense
Umm let's see WOKE CBS CANCELS Whiskey Friday with Tony Dokoupil after COMPLAINTS from HYSTERICAL BOOZE-HATING LIBERALS (thumbnail of woman with short pink hair yelling passionately)
January 16, 2026 at 3:21 PM
Umm let's see WOKE CBS CANCELS Whiskey Friday with Tony Dokoupil after COMPLAINTS from HYSTERICAL BOOZE-HATING LIBERALS (thumbnail of woman with short pink hair yelling passionately)
I really don't like the phrase "vibe coding" or the assumption we all find it saucy and fun. It's a little bit like the insistence on referring to Disney employees as "cast members," or having to call yourself a "sandwich artist" to customers, or having to order "Moons Over My Hammy" at Denny's
January 16, 2026 at 7:37 AM
I really don't like the phrase "vibe coding" or the assumption we all find it saucy and fun. It's a little bit like the insistence on referring to Disney employees as "cast members," or having to call yourself a "sandwich artist" to customers, or having to order "Moons Over My Hammy" at Denny's
That's interesting. What's the best way to do this
DHS spokesperson Tricia McLaughlin on "acts of violence" against ICE agents in Minnesota: "Pouring water on the ground so that it would freeze the ground in front of our federal law enforcement vehicles so that they would potentially slide, crash, and potentially kill them"
January 16, 2026 at 2:44 AM
That's interesting. What's the best way to do this