Salsabeard
@salsabeard.bsky.social
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I’ve decided I’m not sucking in my stomach today.
October 25, 2025 at 7:59 PM
I’ve decided I’m not sucking in my stomach today.
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I just saw a shadow thrown by a cloud that was shaped like a penis, does that mean 6 more weeks of wiener?
November 19, 2025 at 2:32 PM
I just saw a shadow thrown by a cloud that was shaped like a penis, does that mean 6 more weeks of wiener?
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My cupcakes would fix you.
November 18, 2025 at 7:21 PM
My cupcakes would fix you.
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“My support for the release of the Epstein documents will be entirely based on what the President tells me to do.”
-Mike Johnson
-Mike Johnson
November 18, 2025 at 1:25 PM
“My support for the release of the Epstein documents will be entirely based on what the President tells me to do.”
-Mike Johnson
-Mike Johnson
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Before you sit down, make sure you can reach the remote.
November 18, 2025 at 12:25 PM
Before you sit down, make sure you can reach the remote.
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Pronounces macho man like nacho man.
November 16, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Pronounces macho man like nacho man.
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*brings a pizza to a knife fight*
November 16, 2025 at 5:15 AM
*brings a pizza to a knife fight*
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Woke up thinking about pizza again.
November 16, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Woke up thinking about pizza again.
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There should be some leeway on posts written while high. The truth is, they seemed perfectly logical and hysterical at the time they were posted.
November 16, 2025 at 10:36 PM
There should be some leeway on posts written while high. The truth is, they seemed perfectly logical and hysterical at the time they were posted.
I’ll share my dingdong if you share you cupcakes
November 16, 2025 at 4:56 PM
I’ll share my dingdong if you share you cupcakes
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A store for people over 40 called Bed, Bath and Beyond Exhausted.
November 13, 2025 at 10:22 PM
A store for people over 40 called Bed, Bath and Beyond Exhausted.
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Sorry I’m late, I’m exhausted.
November 14, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Sorry I’m late, I’m exhausted.
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Kiss me, I taste like cake.
November 11, 2025 at 3:33 PM
Kiss me, I taste like cake.
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*sitting on his face*
Do you want cake?
Do you want cake?
January 21, 2025 at 1:24 AM
*sitting on his face*
Do you want cake?
Do you want cake?
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What if we made out in the snack aisle at the grocery store.
November 11, 2025 at 8:26 PM
What if we made out in the snack aisle at the grocery store.
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coffee so strong i need a surge protector for my central nervous system
November 12, 2025 at 12:29 PM
coffee so strong i need a surge protector for my central nervous system
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Goodbye Cocktober.
Hello stache and beard rides November.
Hello stache and beard rides November.
November 9, 2025 at 4:53 PM
Goodbye Cocktober.
Hello stache and beard rides November.
Hello stache and beard rides November.
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What if we made out in the liquor store.
November 11, 2025 at 4:48 AM
What if we made out in the liquor store.
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I can do hard things. I think.
November 10, 2025 at 7:01 PM
I can do hard things. I think.
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im a daytime midweek bowling alley ten.
November 9, 2025 at 7:46 PM
im a daytime midweek bowling alley ten.
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this jacket isn’t very straight at all
November 9, 2025 at 2:47 PM
this jacket isn’t very straight at all
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This is my crippling anxiety post. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
November 8, 2025 at 1:10 PM
This is my crippling anxiety post. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
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If you’ve dated more than one Walter you’re letting them Walts right into your life.
November 9, 2025 at 2:32 PM
If you’ve dated more than one Walter you’re letting them Walts right into your life.
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Ok we’re at the ‘looking for something and instead find a massive clue’ stage of this mystery.
November 9, 2025 at 1:50 PM
Ok we’re at the ‘looking for something and instead find a massive clue’ stage of this mystery.
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In high school, I was voted most likely to die one day short of retirement
November 9, 2025 at 10:40 PM
In high school, I was voted most likely to die one day short of retirement