Stankloaf
@stankloaf.bsky.social
I like dreamin' because it means my ass is asleep.
February 17, 2026 at 4:48 PM
I like dreamin' because it means my ass is asleep.
Hey, have you watched this movie I just watched? You should watch it. It's good.
February 17, 2026 at 12:58 AM
Hey, have you watched this movie I just watched? You should watch it. It's good.
Reposted by Stankloaf
looking back on it, AOL was right.
Thirty hours of internet is all we need every month
Thirty hours of internet is all we need every month
February 14, 2026 at 4:17 PM
looking back on it, AOL was right.
Thirty hours of internet is all we need every month
Thirty hours of internet is all we need every month
Reposted by Stankloaf
Bullet dodged, so to speak.
February 5, 2026 at 6:53 PM
Bullet dodged, so to speak.
Reposted by Stankloaf
Donald Trump and the Republicans are threatening to destroy representative democracy while killing civilians, taking massive bribes, destroying alliances, and exploding costs. That's why it's so critical that the Democrats find candidates who are inspiring enough to get me to vote.
February 11, 2026 at 2:46 AM
Donald Trump and the Republicans are threatening to destroy representative democracy while killing civilians, taking massive bribes, destroying alliances, and exploding costs. That's why it's so critical that the Democrats find candidates who are inspiring enough to get me to vote.
That web you've weaved seems a bit tangled.
February 11, 2026 at 2:09 AM
That web you've weaved seems a bit tangled.
Reposted by Stankloaf
Excellent guess but no Carmen is not in San Diego.
February 11, 2026 at 1:53 AM
Excellent guess but no Carmen is not in San Diego.
If you're rudeness makes me say something rude, then that shit's on you.
February 10, 2026 at 10:44 PM
If you're rudeness makes me say something rude, then that shit's on you.
One day I will spit on his grave.
February 10, 2026 at 4:27 AM
One day I will spit on his grave.
In Miami and it's 71 here, many locals in hoodies and jackets due to the 'cold spell'
February 8, 2026 at 5:50 PM
In Miami and it's 71 here, many locals in hoodies and jackets due to the 'cold spell'
Reposted by Stankloaf
Look kid, occasionally I’m going to drop an obscure boomer reference and it’s up to you to dust off your Encyclopædia Britannica and figure it out
February 7, 2026 at 6:06 PM
Look kid, occasionally I’m going to drop an obscure boomer reference and it’s up to you to dust off your Encyclopædia Britannica and figure it out
Please Mister, my phone, she is dying.
February 7, 2026 at 4:07 AM
Please Mister, my phone, she is dying.
Russia doesn't have video of prostitutes pissing on me so unlike orangeanus I'm free to say "fuck Russia."
February 6, 2026 at 3:54 PM
Russia doesn't have video of prostitutes pissing on me so unlike orangeanus I'm free to say "fuck Russia."
Why must you make this political asks the politicians
February 5, 2026 at 5:33 PM
Why must you make this political asks the politicians
Reposted by Stankloaf
Financial planning protip:
Make sure your spouse is the beneficiary of your Fidelity account and your side piece is the beneficiary of your Infidelity account.
Make sure your spouse is the beneficiary of your Fidelity account and your side piece is the beneficiary of your Infidelity account.
February 4, 2026 at 6:45 PM
Financial planning protip:
Make sure your spouse is the beneficiary of your Fidelity account and your side piece is the beneficiary of your Infidelity account.
Make sure your spouse is the beneficiary of your Fidelity account and your side piece is the beneficiary of your Infidelity account.
Reposted by Stankloaf
If I had an anti-trans relative I’d just follow them into the bathroom constantly and tell them sorry, I have a duty to check their junk.
January 31, 2026 at 10:11 PM
If I had an anti-trans relative I’d just follow them into the bathroom constantly and tell them sorry, I have a duty to check their junk.
Reposted by Stankloaf
friend: so your license to practice law was revoked??
me: no no no. i was '𝘋𝘪𝘴 𝘉𝘢𝘳𝘥' it was my rap name... why, do you need legal representizzle?
me: no no no. i was '𝘋𝘪𝘴 𝘉𝘢𝘳𝘥' it was my rap name... why, do you need legal representizzle?
February 4, 2026 at 10:09 PM
friend: so your license to practice law was revoked??
me: no no no. i was '𝘋𝘪𝘴 𝘉𝘢𝘳𝘥' it was my rap name... why, do you need legal representizzle?
me: no no no. i was '𝘋𝘪𝘴 𝘉𝘢𝘳𝘥' it was my rap name... why, do you need legal representizzle?
After finishing my meal at a nice steakhouse:
"Oh waiter, bring me your finest floss."
"Oh waiter, bring me your finest floss."
February 3, 2026 at 11:50 PM
After finishing my meal at a nice steakhouse:
"Oh waiter, bring me your finest floss."
"Oh waiter, bring me your finest floss."
Excuse me, what's that language you're speaking? It sounds terrible.
February 3, 2026 at 10:51 PM
Excuse me, what's that language you're speaking? It sounds terrible.
A stranger when I'm taking a selfie: "Do you want me to take a picture of the two of you?"
*No thanks
*You mean put your dirty who-knows-where-they've-been hands on my phone? Like I said, no thanks
*No thanks
*You mean put your dirty who-knows-where-they've-been hands on my phone? Like I said, no thanks
February 1, 2026 at 4:25 PM
A stranger when I'm taking a selfie: "Do you want me to take a picture of the two of you?"
*No thanks
*You mean put your dirty who-knows-where-they've-been hands on my phone? Like I said, no thanks
*No thanks
*You mean put your dirty who-knows-where-they've-been hands on my phone? Like I said, no thanks
Everybody plays the fool sometimes and by sometimes they mean daily right?
January 29, 2026 at 4:23 PM
Everybody plays the fool sometimes and by sometimes they mean daily right?
Reposted by Stankloaf
Analysis | Whether it was furnishing Jeffrey Epstein with young girls in the 1990s or furnishing Stephen Miller with murders in the 2020s, Donald Trump has always helped his closest associates get an erection.
January 25, 2026 at 4:10 PM
Analysis | Whether it was furnishing Jeffrey Epstein with young girls in the 1990s or furnishing Stephen Miller with murders in the 2020s, Donald Trump has always helped his closest associates get an erection.
Reposted by Stankloaf
One time I got caught stealing from a K-Mart and the manager made me suck his dick so I started shoplifting there every day.
January 26, 2026 at 12:45 PM
One time I got caught stealing from a K-Mart and the manager made me suck his dick so I started shoplifting there every day.
I didn't say you'd go down in history I said it looks like you would go down ON history.
January 27, 2026 at 2:20 AM
I didn't say you'd go down in history I said it looks like you would go down ON history.
Reposted by Stankloaf
MORAL arc of the universe? In this reality?
January 26, 2026 at 5:25 PM
MORAL arc of the universe? In this reality?