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badthoughthaver.bsky.social
Matt HalloweenName
@badthoughthaver.bsky.social
3K followers 510 following 11K posts
Nerd, geek, dork, loser. Please help: My thoughts, they are bad. Said thoughts: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaolkthurmh6 Pfp by @geraldinepiche.bsky.social HIRE THEM NOW
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badthoughthaver.bsky.social
Matt HalloweenName @badthoughthaver.bsky.social · Oct 30
My personality? Imagine if Marvin the Paranoid Android and Eeyore fucked.
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Reposted by Matt HalloweenName
snappleroan.bsky.social
muffin oracle🔮🕸️ ʰᶦᵍʰ ᵖʳᶦᵉˢᵗᵉˢˢ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᶦᶜᵉ ᶜʳᵉᵃᵐ ᵈᶦᵐᵉⁿˢᶦᵒⁿ 🎉🧁 @snappleroan.bsky.social · 2h
no i don’t want to renew my free subscription to sirius XM i want a car with a long pointy radio antenna on top of which i can put a styrofoam smiley face bauble!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Reposted by Matt HalloweenName
deviwestside.bsky.social
Devi 🧙‍♀️✨ @deviwestside.bsky.social · 3h
Fuckboy: you’re so hot

Wholesome man: I made you a jewelry box because you said you needed one
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Reposted by Matt HalloweenName
granttanaka.bsky.social
Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 2h
don't judge a man 'til you've walked a mile in his shoes all the way to the courthouse where you put on a black robe and get your gavel and tell the bailiff to bring in the next defendant and hear their testimony and make a decision by fairly interpreting and applying the law and
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Reposted by Matt HalloweenName
nahyoudoit.bsky.social
Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 3h
JUDGE: are you both sure there’s nothing that could save your marriage?

ME: your honor, he asked me “what has 9 arms and sucks?”

JUDGE: so what was the answer?

ME: Def Leppard

JUDGE: jfc what an asshole I declare this marriage dissolved
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Reposted by Matt HalloweenName
ayankdownunder.bsky.social
GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 3h
Boops your clitoris with my tongue*.

*repeatedly, because I’m not a monster.
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badthoughthaver.bsky.social
Matt HalloweenName @badthoughthaver.bsky.social · 2h
White hot chocolate with an amaretto kick. Thas good.
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badthoughthaver.bsky.social
Matt HalloweenName @badthoughthaver.bsky.social · 3h
They do a job, I couldn't comment further than that 😄
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pretty-vulgar.bsky.social
🎃punkin spice spooky geist💀 @pretty-vulgar.bsky.social · 3h
*brings a fresh batch of shortbread with lemon curd and marmalade to a knife fight*
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badthoughthaver.bsky.social
Matt HalloweenName @badthoughthaver.bsky.social · 3h
Sadly it's not done anything positive for those either…
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badthoughthaver.bsky.social
Matt HalloweenName @badthoughthaver.bsky.social · 3h
Not looking to dash your hopes but it hasn't worked for me yet 😕
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Reposted by Matt HalloweenName
professorkiosk.wtf
🅱️oofessor Killosk 🔪👻 @professorkiosk.wtf · 4h
pam bondi is the pam bondi of pam bondis
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Reposted by Matt HalloweenName
parilani.sparkle.blue
🦇 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 5h
officer: *about to pat me down* have any weapons on ur person?

me: oh just THESE *pulling my hands out of my pockets and doing an impressive karate chop*

officer: oh shit that was an impressive karate chop

me: right??? they're deadly

officer: *unholstering gun* they're what
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badthoughthaver.bsky.social
Matt HalloweenName @badthoughthaver.bsky.social · 5h
Trust
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badthoughthaver.bsky.social
Matt HalloweenName @badthoughthaver.bsky.social · 5h
Just remember, you are only one or two life decisions away from getting a tattoo on your genitals
deviwestside.bsky.social
Devi 🧙‍♀️✨ @deviwestside.bsky.social · 7h
Just remember, you are only one or two life decisions away from going to jail but don’t do it because there is no Netflix in jail
nahyoudoit.bsky.social
Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 21h
Just remember, you’re only one or two life decisions away from shopping for camper toilets on Amazon
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Reposted by Matt HalloweenName
batkaren.bsky.social
batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 19h
Sure, GI Joe taught us that knowing is half the battle, but they never said the other half is getting a good night’s sleep.

We are FUCKED.
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Reposted by Matt HalloweenName
laboxalaroxa.bsky.social
Roxy @laboxalaroxa.bsky.social · 8h
Weird little goblin is my porn name.
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badthoughthaver.bsky.social
Matt HalloweenName @badthoughthaver.bsky.social · 6h
🙌🏽 As it should be! Hope you have a great time 🫶🏽
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badthoughthaver.bsky.social
Matt HalloweenName @badthoughthaver.bsky.social · 6h
You dissin' my culture? You wanna be careful or someone'll stripe you up
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badthoughthaver.bsky.social
Matt HalloweenName @badthoughthaver.bsky.social · 6h
This is offensive. It's "fackin", not "fokin".
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badthoughthaver.bsky.social
Matt HalloweenName @badthoughthaver.bsky.social · 8h
🫡
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badthoughthaver.bsky.social
Matt HalloweenName @badthoughthaver.bsky.social · 8h
Can't believe you forgot the gooners!
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badthoughthaver.bsky.social
Matt HalloweenName @badthoughthaver.bsky.social · 9h
Quick question here guys: What is the fucking point?
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badthoughthaver.bsky.social
Matt HalloweenName @badthoughthaver.bsky.social · 10h
A valid reason to cancel any event 😍
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Reposted by Matt HalloweenName
daisy91.bsky.social
Daisy @daisy91.bsky.social · 11h
Sorry I can’t come to your wedding. That’s the weekend I’ve scheduled to blow pet safe bubbles to my kitten.
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badthoughthaver.bsky.social
Matt HalloweenName @badthoughthaver.bsky.social · 11h
I done did it! 🥳
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