Bixby
banner
bixbythemartian.bsky.social
Bixby
@bixbythemartian.bsky.social
I write stuff sometimes. He/him, disabled and queer and occasionally cranky about it. Old enough to run for president. Website with my writing: https://bixbythemartian.blogspot.com/
Pinned
bixbythemartian.blogspot.com/2025/06/50-w... chapter one of maybe an ongoing story about a deeply annoyed death witch named Tabitha who keeps getting accused of atrocities she didn't do.

people always get hung up on the name.
50+ Ways to Annoy the Death Witch
Chapter 1: Call her a Necromancer I was on the porch sketching when Callahan showed up. Callahan works for the Council and investigates witc...
bixbythemartian.blogspot.com
Reposted by Bixby
So I'm trying to keep access to my storage unit. I need $300 by EOD the 6th to avoid a late fee/lockout. PurpleHel on venmo & cashapp, or I can privately give you the login to pay directly if you dm me.
December 31, 2025 at 6:30 AM
Reposted by Bixby
baaaaaaaaaby
23 seconds of blissed out baby cat
December 31, 2025 at 3:24 AM
actually just deleted it because I'd rather block that dipshit but jesus christ you do not, under any circumstance, gotta hand it to MTG
December 30, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Reposted by Bixby
there's too many goddamn levels of abstraction in my life. I'm an ape that only *really* wants to eat and fuck but someone invented language and now this has gotten so completely out of hand that I think having a "job" and following "laws" are real things
December 30, 2025 at 6:19 PM
Reposted by Bixby
This is true and I was the only one on set excited about it (and playing the song on my phone to blank stares)
Just watched the new Knives Out and I think it's really important you know that the scene in the Seminary's Gym is filmed in the same place Rick Astley filmed the music video for Never Gonna Give You Up.

I saw the window tracery and immediately made my friends pause the film so I could tell them.
December 30, 2025 at 4:21 AM
Reposted by Bixby
Just a quick hello from The Happiest Boy in the World.
December 28, 2025 at 7:58 PM
Reposted by Bixby
This is legitimately what made my final decision about what car I was getting this year
Amazingly, reaction times using screens while driving are worse than being drunk or high—no wonder 90 percent of drivers hate using touchscreens in cars. Finally the auto industry is coming to its senses.
Rejoice! Carmakers Are Embracing Physical Buttons Again
Amazingly, reaction times using screens while driving are worse than being drunk or high—no wonder 90 percent of drivers hate using touchscreens in cars. Finally the auto industry is coming to its…
wrd.cm
December 28, 2025 at 10:56 AM
Reposted by Bixby
My takeaway is that we have not been mean enough to the New York Times this year
www.nytimes.com/2025/12/27/a...
December 28, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Reposted by Bixby
Honestly, I love the Secret Third Option years. Like bird year, that was also great
Gävlebocken got tired of standing =3=
December 27, 2025 at 3:52 PM
Reposted by Bixby
Mitsubishi Goofus is this anything send skeet
December 25, 2025 at 11:53 PM
Reposted by Bixby
theres literally a dedicated button to generate ai versions of art posted on twitter you cant opt out of like the killer is behind you girl get out of there
December 26, 2025 at 5:41 PM
Reposted by Bixby
watching artists on twitter with blue checkmarks complain about ai like sis the call is coming from inside the house you gotta get outta thereeee
December 26, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Reposted by Bixby
petition to make it illegal for fried chicken places to put a wing in your 2-piece box. don't insult me
December 21, 2025 at 11:28 PM
Reposted by Bixby
Big tough man. Big tough guy. Fucking embarassing

Not that fighting is manly or good or anything but thats like that meatheads entire identity and he fucking sucks ass at it. Perfection. Rawdogging failure on the world stage
December 21, 2025 at 6:00 AM
Reposted by Bixby
Im not up on boxing these days but i used to box and i just watched the andrew tate fight and its the sloppiest shit i have ever seen. That uppercut came from 6 feet away and was telegraphed with a bullhorn. Neither one of those guys could fight worth shit. Was that a real match?
December 21, 2025 at 5:49 AM
Reposted by Bixby
December 21, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Reposted by Bixby
This was actually very helpful, in case you’re like me and were curious about all the schadenfreude you kept scrolling past.
A Cliffs Notes for the Jake Paul situation since I'm seeing people confused.

Jake Paul and his brother were 'prank streamers'. Yes exactly. They got famous for doing that and got rich. Jakes fame got to his head and somewhere along the way he started believing he could fight pro boxers.
December 21, 2025 at 12:43 AM
Reposted by Bixby
Sorry not sorry but calling SCOTUS members psychopaths is an insult to psychopaths
December 20, 2025 at 9:55 PM
Reposted by Bixby
If you all want to know the real miracle of this video, it's gotten us 2k+ likes on threads where we have to fist fight the algorithm every day.
December 19, 2025 at 8:27 PM
Reposted by Bixby
no joke, this is a realer issue than you even know if you touched grass in the late 2010s. Generative AI is just where NFT dudes went next, but AGI is a religious project to bring about the Singularity so our souls will be emulated forever in Computer Heaven.
I think we need a full accounting of which of the tech executives think Roko’s Basilisk is real I really think we deserve full transparency on which of them genuinely think they’re building a computer god who will punish them if it’s not built.
December 19, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Reposted by Bixby
Someone asked what's happening here - the watered tree is lit on fire a full 30 seconds before the dry tree, but you can barely tell because it's burning so slowly. The dry tree goes full inferno in a matter of seconds. Water your tree. Make sure you have working smoke alarms in your home.
December 19, 2025 at 8:15 PM
Reposted by Bixby
You might be thinking, "CPSC, does a dry Christmas tree really burn that much faster than a well-watered tree?"

Friend, let's find out together by watching this PSA.
December 19, 2025 at 2:31 PM
Reposted by Bixby
we need a name for all the prominent 'thought leaders' who have been exposed as pedophiles and I'd like to suggest "dipshit gotterdammerung"
David Brooks writing about how there was nothing to see with the Epstein Files while not disclosing *he was in them* is at least a Nuzzi-level journalistic scandal

What I'm saying is, get ready to see a nude painting of David Brooks in the NYT within weeks
December 18, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Reposted by Bixby
excited to read a longform article about the collapse of this project (est: 1-3 deaths) in eighteen months or so.
Belgian crypto billionaire Olivier Janssens is planning to establish a "libertarian community" with its own legal system in Saint Kitts and Nevis.
Belgian crypto-billionaire wants to build the ‘Dubai of the Caribbean’
Belgian crypto-billionaire wants to build the 'Dubai of the Caribbean'
www.brusselstimes.com
December 18, 2025 at 5:14 AM