Rusty Shackleford
@dale-gribble.bsky.social
Boil Up Some Mtn. Dew, It’s Gonna Be A Long Night
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.
January 7, 2026 at 8:26 PM
The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
🎼 the cumming man can because he mixes it with cum and makes the world taste cuuuum 🎶
January 6, 2026 at 4:20 PM
🎼 the cumming man can because he mixes it with cum and makes the world taste cuuuum 🎶
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
Not everyone is brave enough to say it but deaf people love to cheat at charades
January 4, 2026 at 5:16 PM
Not everyone is brave enough to say it but deaf people love to cheat at charades
Told myself I’d get up and hit the treadmill this morning before football started today. Still in my sweatpants and no sign of getting that run completed in the next five minutes.
This bodes ill for the actual resolutions I made for 2026.
This bodes ill for the actual resolutions I made for 2026.
January 1, 2026 at 4:55 PM
Told myself I’d get up and hit the treadmill this morning before football started today. Still in my sweatpants and no sign of getting that run completed in the next five minutes.
This bodes ill for the actual resolutions I made for 2026.
This bodes ill for the actual resolutions I made for 2026.
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
November 10, 1971, 3:12 am
[Nudging wife awake]: someone just named a new baby Walton Goggins
[Nudging wife awake]: someone just named a new baby Walton Goggins
January 1, 2026 at 1:15 AM
November 10, 1971, 3:12 am
[Nudging wife awake]: someone just named a new baby Walton Goggins
[Nudging wife awake]: someone just named a new baby Walton Goggins
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
the Pegussy got him like
January 1, 2026 at 4:10 PM
the Pegussy got him like
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
The Little Engine That Fucks
January 1, 2026 at 5:48 AM
The Little Engine That Fucks
Diarrhea: Nature’s Lubricant
December 31, 2025 at 1:06 AM
Diarrhea: Nature’s Lubricant
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
damn that baby looks cool as hell
December 29, 2025 at 11:11 PM
damn that baby looks cool as hell
ICE is short for I Can’t Ejaculate
December 28, 2025 at 1:28 AM
ICE is short for I Can’t Ejaculate
The best part of having kids is that you get Madden level play by plays of their poops
December 27, 2025 at 12:07 AM
The best part of having kids is that you get Madden level play by plays of their poops
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
goddam fiancée suggested that i buy 3 new pairs of jeans and for a barely perceptible moment i physically transformed into Hank Hill
December 26, 2025 at 10:29 PM
goddam fiancée suggested that i buy 3 new pairs of jeans and for a barely perceptible moment i physically transformed into Hank Hill
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
2pm. Day after Christmas. Ben Folds sneaks out to catch a matinee of Marty Supreme after his girlfriend naps, post-abortion.
December 26, 2025 at 6:46 PM
2pm. Day after Christmas. Ben Folds sneaks out to catch a matinee of Marty Supreme after his girlfriend naps, post-abortion.
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
Die Hard was actually appropriated from pagans
December 26, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Die Hard was actually appropriated from pagans
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
December 26, 2025 at 1:26 AM
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
in the director's cut of Home Alone, uncle Frank says, "look what you did, you little cunt." That's the only difference
December 19, 2025 at 6:54 PM
in the director's cut of Home Alone, uncle Frank says, "look what you did, you little cunt." That's the only difference
How the Grinch Stole My Virginity
How the grinch stole my peace of mind
How the Grinch Stole Valor
December 25, 2025 at 3:19 PM
How the Grinch Stole My Virginity
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
Tiny Tim did die. Turns out an old man being a little bit nice doesn't actually cure polio.
December 25, 2025 at 3:11 PM
Tiny Tim did die. Turns out an old man being a little bit nice doesn't actually cure polio.
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
ME: (sobbing, clutching a pistol) Both of you just shut up! Tell me something only the real Santa would know!
SANTA: In March you took a shit in a public bathroom so horrific it made a janitor quit on the spot.
OTHER SANTA: Is that true?
Me: Yes
OTHER SANTA: Jesus Christ. Fuck, man
SANTA: In March you took a shit in a public bathroom so horrific it made a janitor quit on the spot.
OTHER SANTA: Is that true?
Me: Yes
OTHER SANTA: Jesus Christ. Fuck, man
December 25, 2025 at 5:03 AM
ME: (sobbing, clutching a pistol) Both of you just shut up! Tell me something only the real Santa would know!
SANTA: In March you took a shit in a public bathroom so horrific it made a janitor quit on the spot.
OTHER SANTA: Is that true?
Me: Yes
OTHER SANTA: Jesus Christ. Fuck, man
SANTA: In March you took a shit in a public bathroom so horrific it made a janitor quit on the spot.
OTHER SANTA: Is that true?
Me: Yes
OTHER SANTA: Jesus Christ. Fuck, man
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
I love how hyped everyone is at the Christ child dropping it low
December 25, 2025 at 1:37 PM
I love how hyped everyone is at the Christ child dropping it low
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
and Tiny Tim, who did NOT– hold on.... ladies and gentlemen, i've just received terrible news
December 25, 2025 at 3:03 PM
and Tiny Tim, who did NOT– hold on.... ladies and gentlemen, i've just received terrible news
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
Santa Clausferatu
December 31, 2024 at 2:49 PM
Santa Clausferatu
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
Tonight’s the night Mrs. Clause gets an entire year of passionate, raw dogging sexual frustration released with Duane, the slow witted but super hung elf who works in the stables.
December 25, 2024 at 1:37 AM
Tonight’s the night Mrs. Clause gets an entire year of passionate, raw dogging sexual frustration released with Duane, the slow witted but super hung elf who works in the stables.
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
I love the absolute conviction that ‘The Christmas Song’ has in saying “If you’re 93 years old or older you can fuck right off and not have a merry Christmas. Eat shit.”
December 21, 2024 at 4:03 AM
I love the absolute conviction that ‘The Christmas Song’ has in saying “If you’re 93 years old or older you can fuck right off and not have a merry Christmas. Eat shit.”