Martin Faulkner
@faulknmd.bsky.social
Peterborough via Newcastle, Hamburg and Lewisham. Linguist, parkrunner (A1088564), LLama (FaulknerM), Eurovision nostalgist, random chef, bedroom musician. Also posts from escgo.bsky.social. He/him.
Incredible stuff.
I've stuck randomly generated conspiracies onto Matt from the Telegraph's cartoons to create "Tinfoil Matt"
(Not AI, me writing templates, the good old fashioned way to do these things with a strong degree of authorship.)
Follow @tinfoil-matt.bsky.social NOW.
(Not AI, me writing templates, the good old fashioned way to do these things with a strong degree of authorship.)
Follow @tinfoil-matt.bsky.social NOW.
December 23, 2025 at 12:23 PM
Incredible stuff.
Reposted by Martin Faulkner
![[[two men are singing outside, caroling]]
left man: Jingle bells!
right man: Jingle bells!
both: Jingle them halfway!
left man: Oh what fun--
right man: What's wrong?
[[right man looks concerned]]
right man: Listen, man. I've been thinking. I know this is crazy, but hear me out.
right man: What if we -- this is gonna sound stupid--
right man: What if we jingled
right man: ALL the way?
[[LATER]]
[[both men are now nesltled among many large bags labeled with dollar signs]]
right man: Wooooo
{{header: oh what fun at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The future is written by the ones who follow the craziest ideas.}}](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:kihgsldesfdvdp7fi65m3m45/bafkreic3zgyl4ogga4rkv2in6eanrya4ztxdyvqrhaqsqf4cktk3w2cpwi@jpeg)
December 19, 2025 at 6:23 PM
Reposted by Martin Faulkner
—I’ve been asked to baptise the King of Spain’s daughter
—Infanta?
—No, holy water as usual. Weird thing to ask honestly
—Infanta?
—No, holy water as usual. Weird thing to ask honestly
December 15, 2025 at 1:08 PM
—I’ve been asked to baptise the King of Spain’s daughter
—Infanta?
—No, holy water as usual. Weird thing to ask honestly
—Infanta?
—No, holy water as usual. Weird thing to ask honestly
Reposted by Martin Faulkner
[12hrs into my ice interrogation]
agent: in 2021 you posted “they should call him matt hardcock am i right fellas” can you explain that?
me: do you know who matt hancock is?
a:…
[43mins later]
a: he had his own app? for parkour?
me: no the parkour was a separate issue
agent: in 2021 you posted “they should call him matt hardcock am i right fellas” can you explain that?
me: do you know who matt hancock is?
a:…
[43mins later]
a: he had his own app? for parkour?
me: no the parkour was a separate issue
Want to travel to the US? You might have to give the Trump administration the last five years of your social media history.
US wants five years of some tourists' social media to enter the country
Digital rights advocates say it’s an affront to civil liberties.
www.motherjones.com
December 11, 2025 at 9:23 AM
[12hrs into my ice interrogation]
agent: in 2021 you posted “they should call him matt hardcock am i right fellas” can you explain that?
me: do you know who matt hancock is?
a:…
[43mins later]
a: he had his own app? for parkour?
me: no the parkour was a separate issue
agent: in 2021 you posted “they should call him matt hardcock am i right fellas” can you explain that?
me: do you know who matt hancock is?
a:…
[43mins later]
a: he had his own app? for parkour?
me: no the parkour was a separate issue
Fair
petition to make it illegal for anyone called Martin to be in charge of Eurovision, sorry to all the good Martins out there but we simply cannot risk it again
December 11, 2025 at 1:42 PM
Fair
Reposted by Martin Faulkner
This is why hating and mocking AI relentlessly and publicly is vital work.
McDonald's has taken down a Christmas ad made with AI following online backlash
The company said the moment served as "an important learning" as it explored "the effective use of AI"
The company said the moment served as "an important learning" as it explored "the effective use of AI"
McDonald's pulls AI-generated Christmas advert following backlash
McDonald's said the moment served as "an important learning" as it explored "the effective use of AI".
www.bbc.com
December 10, 2025 at 5:45 PM
This is why hating and mocking AI relentlessly and publicly is vital work.
A good thread that sums it up about as well as it can be right now, I'd say:
So, yesterday Eurovision made a decision to swap Spain, Ireland, Netherlands and Slovenia (and possibly Iceland and Belgium too) for one (1) Israel.
This begs the question, what next? I presume the EBU are hoping that they've taken a hit but now they can stem the bleeding. But can they?
🧵
This begs the question, what next? I presume the EBU are hoping that they've taken a hit but now they can stem the bleeding. But can they?
🧵
December 5, 2025 at 9:06 AM
A good thread that sums it up about as well as it can be right now, I'd say:
Reposted by Martin Faulkner
Every newly hobbiless Eurovision fan is obligated to select one of the Critically Endangered Crafts as their new hyper-fixation
December 4, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Every newly hobbiless Eurovision fan is obligated to select one of the Critically Endangered Crafts as their new hyper-fixation
Reposted by Martin Faulkner
TRENT REZNOR: and you could have it all, my empire of dirt
GARDENERS: oh fuck yes
GARDENERS: oh fuck yes
September 8, 2023 at 4:50 AM
TRENT REZNOR: and you could have it all, my empire of dirt
GARDENERS: oh fuck yes
GARDENERS: oh fuck yes
Reposted by Martin Faulkner
"immigration has to go up for our growth goals, but our policy is to bring it down"
uk politics in a nutshell
uk politics in a nutshell
There is an actual interesting little deceit in the budget, namely ther have the OBR still forecasting based on increasing net immigration back to 300-350k whilst the Home Secretary is promising to bring it down from 200k, which does dissolve about half the headroom, but somehow we're doing vibes.
Think this is exactly right - political journalism that is completely abstracted from policy, which was not the norm before 2017, has become the default. Impossible to have a serious attempt to either shrink what the state does or widen the tax base (have to do at least one) on that basis.
December 1, 2025 at 6:15 PM
"immigration has to go up for our growth goals, but our policy is to bring it down"
uk politics in a nutshell
uk politics in a nutshell
I mean, obviously
November 26, 2025 at 6:17 PM
I mean, obviously
Reposted by Martin Faulkner
*playing guess who with werner herzog*
werner herzog: does your person have the demented soul of a trapped demon, held infinitely against his will in a universe with no time, his pointless despair flaying his mind into shards
me: yes
werner herzog: is it clive
werner herzog: does your person have the demented soul of a trapped demon, held infinitely against his will in a universe with no time, his pointless despair flaying his mind into shards
me: yes
werner herzog: is it clive
November 25, 2025 at 4:11 PM
*playing guess who with werner herzog*
werner herzog: does your person have the demented soul of a trapped demon, held infinitely against his will in a universe with no time, his pointless despair flaying his mind into shards
me: yes
werner herzog: is it clive
werner herzog: does your person have the demented soul of a trapped demon, held infinitely against his will in a universe with no time, his pointless despair flaying his mind into shards
me: yes
werner herzog: is it clive
Reposted by Martin Faulkner
But don't tell my Bing, my Ronly Honly Bing
I just don't think he'd understand
I just don't think he'd understand
![R. H. Bing (October 20, 1914 – April 28, 1986)[1] was an American mathematician who worked mainly in the areas of geometric topology and continuum theory.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cyyd366g3hrxp5rynixm2mm3/bafkreid62wy3dekb2kzbisjfdlimlb35j4rlgew5iof7vi32byfszmg26a@jpeg)
![Bing's father was named Rupert Henry, but Bing's mother thought that "Rupert Henry" was too British for Texas. Thus she compromised by abbreviating it to R. H.[5] Consequently, R. H. does not stand for a first or middle name.
When Bing was applying for a visa, he was requested not to use initials. He explained that his name was really "R-only H-only Bing", and ended up receiving a visa made out to "Ronly Honly Bing".](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cyyd366g3hrxp5rynixm2mm3/bafkreigmfj53q4uy33spga2bxdkllqm3ag5sffovg5g7ddmu3vqzkb6k24@jpeg)
November 24, 2025 at 11:52 PM
But don't tell my Bing, my Ronly Honly Bing
I just don't think he'd understand
I just don't think he'd understand
Reposted by Martin Faulkner
I remember when there was a discussion on Twitter about Shein's manufacturing practices and some apologists invented all sorts of fantastical machinery and technology to avoid facing the more horrifying truth. Reminds me of this comedian's joke.
IG bscomedian
IG bscomedian
November 20, 2025 at 12:07 AM
I remember when there was a discussion on Twitter about Shein's manufacturing practices and some apologists invented all sorts of fantastical machinery and technology to avoid facing the more horrifying truth. Reminds me of this comedian's joke.
IG bscomedian
IG bscomedian
Reposted by Martin Faulkner
could i make it any more obvious
AI slop now making up saccharine Bible verses that do not exist
November 15, 2025 at 12:51 PM
could i make it any more obvious
Reposted by Martin Faulkner
Belinda Carlisle. We dream the same dreams, we want the same things.
She’s outbid me 17 TIMES on eBay
She’s outbid me 17 TIMES on eBay
November 13, 2025 at 12:31 PM
Belinda Carlisle. We dream the same dreams, we want the same things.
She’s outbid me 17 TIMES on eBay
She’s outbid me 17 TIMES on eBay
Reposted by Martin Faulkner
My personal twist on tonight’s celebrations, Trick or Tripe, have not gone down well.
October 31, 2025 at 7:00 PM
My personal twist on tonight’s celebrations, Trick or Tripe, have not gone down well.
Reposted by Martin Faulkner
Great news! Now computers won’t just flirt for you, they will also go on holiday for you. Next we’re hoping to get them to take on the arduous task of listening to the sound of a loved one laughing with joy.
A new iPhone app, Endless Summer, uses AI to create photorealistic vacation photos starring you — no travel required
Too burned out to travel? This new app fakes your summer vacation photos for you | TechCrunch
A new iPhone app, Endless Summer, uses AI to create photorealistic vacation photos starring you — no travel required
techcrunch.com
October 20, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Great news! Now computers won’t just flirt for you, they will also go on holiday for you. Next we’re hoping to get them to take on the arduous task of listening to the sound of a loved one laughing with joy.
Reposted by Martin Faulkner
We have an AI for train tickets, it’s called a journey planner. We’ve been collectively perfecting it for decades now. What does this add? What does this *do?!*
Hermit life in the woods becoming more appealing day by day.
Hermit life in the woods becoming more appealing day by day.
October 16, 2025 at 7:31 AM
We have an AI for train tickets, it’s called a journey planner. We’ve been collectively perfecting it for decades now. What does this add? What does this *do?!*
Hermit life in the woods becoming more appealing day by day.
Hermit life in the woods becoming more appealing day by day.
Reposted by Martin Faulkner
future wife finding the ranking I made of LEGO sets by which ones I think I could conceivably ingest without going to the hospital
October 11, 2025 at 2:42 PM
future wife finding the ranking I made of LEGO sets by which ones I think I could conceivably ingest without going to the hospital
Reposted by Martin Faulkner
It'll be wild when Charlotte Church reveals she's been pretending to be Welsh this entire time #TheTraitorsUK #CelebrityTraitors
October 8, 2025 at 8:57 PM
It'll be wild when Charlotte Church reveals she's been pretending to be Welsh this entire time #TheTraitorsUK #CelebrityTraitors
Reposted by Martin Faulkner
"no, but you see, it does over half the work for you! over half! you just need to fix the other half yourself"
"yes but how do i know which half needs to be fixed, Microsoft"
":D"
"how am i supposed to know which half needs to be fixed without doing the entire thing myself, Microsoft"
":D :D :D"
"yes but how do i know which half needs to be fixed, Microsoft"
":D"
"how am i supposed to know which half needs to be fixed without doing the entire thing myself, Microsoft"
":D :D :D"
October 1, 2025 at 8:28 PM
"no, but you see, it does over half the work for you! over half! you just need to fix the other half yourself"
"yes but how do i know which half needs to be fixed, Microsoft"
":D"
"how am i supposed to know which half needs to be fixed without doing the entire thing myself, Microsoft"
":D :D :D"
"yes but how do i know which half needs to be fixed, Microsoft"
":D"
"how am i supposed to know which half needs to be fixed without doing the entire thing myself, Microsoft"
":D :D :D"
Reposted by Martin Faulkner
now where i am from when someone in your office has an accuracy rate of 57.2 percent in editing spreadsheets we call them "fired"
October 1, 2025 at 8:11 PM
now where i am from when someone in your office has an accuracy rate of 57.2 percent in editing spreadsheets we call them "fired"
Reposted by Martin Faulkner
You know Des'ree's "Life" was written in the 1990s, because these days seeing a ghost would be much less scary than watching the evening news
September 15, 2025 at 9:00 AM
You know Des'ree's "Life" was written in the 1990s, because these days seeing a ghost would be much less scary than watching the evening news
Reposted by Martin Faulkner
The weird and wonderful history of British voter segmentations: the names, the ideas, the myths!
From how "the man on the Clapham omnibus" changed English common law to how "Gail's Voter" helped the Lib Dems gain 64 seats in 2024 to what works well when doing segmentation (and what doesn't)
From how "the man on the Clapham omnibus" changed English common law to how "Gail's Voter" helped the Lib Dems gain 64 seats in 2024 to what works well when doing segmentation (and what doesn't)
The Weird and Wonderful History of British Election Voter Segmentations
This "Stockport Man" outlines his ironic (and unironic) love of the a proud British election tradition
jamesbreckwoldt.substack.com
September 9, 2025 at 8:30 AM
The weird and wonderful history of British voter segmentations: the names, the ideas, the myths!
From how "the man on the Clapham omnibus" changed English common law to how "Gail's Voter" helped the Lib Dems gain 64 seats in 2024 to what works well when doing segmentation (and what doesn't)
From how "the man on the Clapham omnibus" changed English common law to how "Gail's Voter" helped the Lib Dems gain 64 seats in 2024 to what works well when doing segmentation (and what doesn't)