genericuser1337
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genericuser1337.bsky.social
genericuser1337
@genericuser1337.bsky.social
part-time man of mystery, and mini-golf connoisseur
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June 11, 2025 at 3:22 AM
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Sesame Street can't stop taking W's lately
June 1, 2025 at 11:08 PM
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he was so real for this
June 2, 2025 at 12:09 PM
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"Morning, Jim!"
"Hey, Tom."
June 2, 2025 at 12:11 PM
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ME: It's a show about an oversharing private detective

PRODUCER: Keep talking

ME: called Magnum TMI

HIM: Get out
May 24, 2025 at 12:09 PM
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They're talking about "water based" cooking now. Cooking things in water instead of oils. It's soup. They're making soup.
May 19, 2025 at 6:22 PM
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Check out how the anchors of CBS Evening News ended their broadcast tonight:
April 23, 2025 at 2:58 AM
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Unless their demands are met
The Chainsmokers will release a remix of “Pink Pony Club” by Chappell Roan tomorrow.
April 23, 2025 at 10:59 PM
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April 15, 2025 at 7:07 PM
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February 13, 2025 at 4:25 AM
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Me, cooking a hotdog: I gotta get that dog meat.

My wife: Please don't use that phrase, it makes my skin crawl.

Me: I needs me some glizzy flesh.
February 13, 2025 at 3:53 AM
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People who didn’t understand Kendrick Lamar‘s halftime show also don’t understand how tariffs work.
February 12, 2025 at 4:20 PM
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Happy ten years to this bad boy.
February 12, 2025 at 4:45 PM
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January 29, 2025 at 3:52 PM
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I apologise to everyone who follows this account for investment advice and who lost money due to my recent post “invest all your money in hamburgers”. It turns out I was just hungry
January 28, 2025 at 9:24 PM
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the j6 pardons have officially killed more people than the pretrial fairness act
January 29, 2025 at 7:33 PM
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[blind date]

HER: I'm a big country fan.

ME {trying to impress her}: China is very large.
January 29, 2025 at 9:23 PM
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We finally get to hear the legendary and iconic songs of Bob Dylan the way they were meant to be heard- sung by Kylie Jenner's boyfriend, Timothée Chalamet.
January 17, 2025 at 4:11 AM
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Me: yeah I've been resisting fascism pretty hard you know. following 57k people on a website, putting all of the important hashtags in my bio, sharing memes of donald trump making out with elon musk. yep, been fighting hard

Grandpa: all of my friends died in the war
January 17, 2025 at 4:10 AM
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Imagine if 2 weeks before the inauguration in 2021, a top donor to Biden, who he had appointed to a top position in his administration, had gone on Twitter & said to a member of the public ‘f u retard’. Imagine the media response - and the pressure on Biden.

Just imagine.
January 7, 2025 at 12:51 AM
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[whispering to date while watching Oppenheimer when Oppenheimer first appears on the screen] That's Oppenheimer
July 26, 2023 at 8:45 PM
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“the hawk tuah girl has been milkshake ducked by her memecoin” i say as the neurologist schedules me for an emergency MRI
December 20, 2024 at 7:50 PM
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I never cared for Sonic. What's his job? Hedgehog? That's not a job, that's a species.
Being a plumber, now that's a job. Having a brother who's taller than you, that's the kind of adversity that builds character.
I know nothing of Sonic's siblings, or of their sizes relative to him. Nothing at all.
December 23, 2024 at 1:09 AM