Gruffalo Trace
@gruffalotrace.bsky.social
Refugee from the Bad Place.
Generally sarcastic, sometimes amusing, occasionally serious, generally dull.
Zero life plan. Love a Bourbon. Dark sense of humour. Quiet... normally
maple filtered over there
Generally sarcastic, sometimes amusing, occasionally serious, generally dull.
Zero life plan. Love a Bourbon. Dark sense of humour. Quiet... normally
maple filtered over there
Pinned
Gruffalo Trace
@gruffalotrace.bsky.social
· Feb 15
You said the worst thing about getting old would be seeing the spark fade in my eyes.
Who would have thought you'd be the one to put it out.
Who would have thought you'd be the one to put it out.
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
I like my Christmas stocking how I like my men. Well hung.
December 7, 2025 at 8:37 PM
I like my Christmas stocking how I like my men. Well hung.
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
If I use the passive voice in a work email you can be sure I'm protecting a friend who messed something up. "issues were encountered due to the approach that was taken" lol yeah, Mark misconfigured our routing rules in the middle of the day, that was the issue
December 7, 2025 at 6:42 PM
If I use the passive voice in a work email you can be sure I'm protecting a friend who messed something up. "issues were encountered due to the approach that was taken" lol yeah, Mark misconfigured our routing rules in the middle of the day, that was the issue
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
Scientists recently combined the DNA of a cheetah with the DNA of a crab.
Things went sideways real fast.
Things went sideways real fast.
December 7, 2025 at 5:16 AM
Scientists recently combined the DNA of a cheetah with the DNA of a crab.
Things went sideways real fast.
Things went sideways real fast.
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
It's not Christmas until you've told a roll of Sellotape to fuck off.
December 7, 2025 at 6:54 PM
It's not Christmas until you've told a roll of Sellotape to fuck off.
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
Small world.
My ex (..ish/fwb/gf, no labelling it yet) is delivering a food today on her first drop to the same lady that I installed a new built-in fridge for yesterday!
There's loads of drivers at Asda all doing 16-20 jobs each this afternoon/evening and yet she got that job🤣
My ex (..ish/fwb/gf, no labelling it yet) is delivering a food today on her first drop to the same lady that I installed a new built-in fridge for yesterday!
There's loads of drivers at Asda all doing 16-20 jobs each this afternoon/evening and yet she got that job🤣
December 7, 2025 at 2:16 PM
Small world.
My ex (..ish/fwb/gf, no labelling it yet) is delivering a food today on her first drop to the same lady that I installed a new built-in fridge for yesterday!
There's loads of drivers at Asda all doing 16-20 jobs each this afternoon/evening and yet she got that job🤣
My ex (..ish/fwb/gf, no labelling it yet) is delivering a food today on her first drop to the same lady that I installed a new built-in fridge for yesterday!
There's loads of drivers at Asda all doing 16-20 jobs each this afternoon/evening and yet she got that job🤣
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
Guys!!!
Currently live on my own and last night I left some roasting pans in soapy water to soak.
IT WORKS!!!
Do not let anyone tell you to do them immediately and that "it doesn't work" or your "just being lazy".
They're just trying to wear you out and gaslight you.
Currently live on my own and last night I left some roasting pans in soapy water to soak.
IT WORKS!!!
Do not let anyone tell you to do them immediately and that "it doesn't work" or your "just being lazy".
They're just trying to wear you out and gaslight you.
December 7, 2025 at 1:19 PM
Guys!!!
Currently live on my own and last night I left some roasting pans in soapy water to soak.
IT WORKS!!!
Do not let anyone tell you to do them immediately and that "it doesn't work" or your "just being lazy".
They're just trying to wear you out and gaslight you.
Currently live on my own and last night I left some roasting pans in soapy water to soak.
IT WORKS!!!
Do not let anyone tell you to do them immediately and that "it doesn't work" or your "just being lazy".
They're just trying to wear you out and gaslight you.
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
You can now get this Buck Roger’s Thunderfighter signed giclee print in my little shop
Only £14! Makes an ideal stocking filler/secret santa gift. www.infinitebacon.com/shop/p/buckt...
Only £14! Makes an ideal stocking filler/secret santa gift. www.infinitebacon.com/shop/p/buckt...
December 7, 2025 at 11:43 AM
You can now get this Buck Roger’s Thunderfighter signed giclee print in my little shop
Only £14! Makes an ideal stocking filler/secret santa gift. www.infinitebacon.com/shop/p/buckt...
Only £14! Makes an ideal stocking filler/secret santa gift. www.infinitebacon.com/shop/p/buckt...
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
Another @tokyosexwhale.bsky.social masterpiece ... Go & visit his website for your gifting needs. I'm keeping this one though. Because it made me laugh 😅 Thank you Tokyo 🖤
December 7, 2025 at 10:40 AM
Another @tokyosexwhale.bsky.social masterpiece ... Go & visit his website for your gifting needs. I'm keeping this one though. Because it made me laugh 😅 Thank you Tokyo 🖤
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
you know how i know im a 44yo dad? how much i laughed at this shit
December 6, 2025 at 3:31 AM
you know how i know im a 44yo dad? how much i laughed at this shit
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
Coca-Cola Ad Exec: Last year the AI Xmas ad got everyone talking, how do we keep it up?
Exec2: Same again, but claim people were involved, a bit?
Exec: If we keep doing this won’t people boycott us?
Exec2: If they don't care about tax evasion and plastic pollution, why start now?
#AdVent #DayTwo
Exec2: Same again, but claim people were involved, a bit?
Exec: If we keep doing this won’t people boycott us?
Exec2: If they don't care about tax evasion and plastic pollution, why start now?
#AdVent #DayTwo
December 2, 2025 at 10:01 AM
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
Dear cling wrap,
Please stop sticking when I don’t need you to, and please stop not sticking when I need you to.
Please stop sticking when I don’t need you to, and please stop not sticking when I need you to.
December 7, 2025 at 2:58 AM
Dear cling wrap,
Please stop sticking when I don’t need you to, and please stop not sticking when I need you to.
Please stop sticking when I don’t need you to, and please stop not sticking when I need you to.
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
I have a sexy body that I’m willing to put on display but everyone keeps harassing me by saying “what are you doing with that corpse” and “I’m calling the police”
December 7, 2025 at 8:46 AM
I have a sexy body that I’m willing to put on display but everyone keeps harassing me by saying “what are you doing with that corpse” and “I’m calling the police”
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
A baby sardine
Saw her first submarine:
She was scared and watched through a peephole.
“Oh, come, come, come,”
Said the sardine's mum,
“It's only a tin full of people”
Saw her first submarine:
She was scared and watched through a peephole.
“Oh, come, come, come,”
Said the sardine's mum,
“It's only a tin full of people”
Which lines of poetry live rent-free in your head?
December 7, 2025 at 8:59 AM
A baby sardine
Saw her first submarine:
She was scared and watched through a peephole.
“Oh, come, come, come,”
Said the sardine's mum,
“It's only a tin full of people”
Saw her first submarine:
She was scared and watched through a peephole.
“Oh, come, come, come,”
Said the sardine's mum,
“It's only a tin full of people”
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
The best kind of boyfriend.
December 7, 2025 at 9:03 AM
The best kind of boyfriend.
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
That’s not a T-Rex, it’s a ‘Ihopenobodysaurus Dumpaloadofshite’.
December 7, 2025 at 9:49 AM
That’s not a T-Rex, it’s a ‘Ihopenobodysaurus Dumpaloadofshite’.
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
At first I was all like…
December 6, 2025 at 2:02 PM
At first I was all like…
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
Jingle all the way. Nobody likes a half-assed jingler.
December 7, 2025 at 10:37 AM
Jingle all the way. Nobody likes a half-assed jingler.
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
Did you know, the welcome you get from your cat on your return home is because they think you've been out all day hunting for them on the Serengeti Plains?
I imagine they're expecting a juicy, still-warm zebra, not a freeze dried Purr Pop from Aldi.
I imagine they're expecting a juicy, still-warm zebra, not a freeze dried Purr Pop from Aldi.
December 3, 2025 at 3:27 PM
Did you know, the welcome you get from your cat on your return home is because they think you've been out all day hunting for them on the Serengeti Plains?
I imagine they're expecting a juicy, still-warm zebra, not a freeze dried Purr Pop from Aldi.
I imagine they're expecting a juicy, still-warm zebra, not a freeze dried Purr Pop from Aldi.
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
Rain lashing down!
Feels like a good time to go play guitar about it.
Feels like a good time to go play guitar about it.
December 6, 2025 at 4:22 PM
Rain lashing down!
Feels like a good time to go play guitar about it.
Feels like a good time to go play guitar about it.
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
“And then they made him a fake trophy because he kept whining and moaning and wouldn’t STFU.”
December 6, 2025 at 4:06 AM
“And then they made him a fake trophy because he kept whining and moaning and wouldn’t STFU.”