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PieGuy

@ilovepie84.bsky.social

13K followers 630 following 1.3K posts

I’m very inspirational https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7bv2ca3yawj662o7qxd5xyt7/feed/aaanl43imdq2m

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PieGuy @ilovepie84.bsky.social · Nov 21

Mrs Doubtfire is my favourite movie about violating a custody agreement

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PieGuy @ilovepie84.bsky.social · 10h

Sorry I haven’t been on lately. I was busy trying to open a produce bag for my apples

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PieGuy @ilovepie84.bsky.social · Aug 29

Why was politics brought into this?

PieGuy @ilovepie84.bsky.social · Aug 27

People: nice jeep, here’s a duck

Winter: nice smile, here’s seasonal depression

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PieGuy @ilovepie84.bsky.social · Aug 10

Convinced my ex to get bangs before we broke up so that I’d find someone new first.

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Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · Aug 8

I’m not into casual sex. Kindly submit a curriculum vitae.

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Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · Aug 9

Oh, you’re an old soul? Name 3 of your children who died of consumption

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · Aug 9

My reaction to citronella suggests that I may in fact be part mosquito

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BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · Aug 8

I only watch South Park for the american politics updates. it’s like the news but honest.

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BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · Aug 9

Sorry i’m late, my morning fart ritual ran long.

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Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · Aug 9

what i mean when i say ima "skedaddle"

A child running from what I assume is responsibility

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Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social · Aug 10

When you see nine birds together that’s a flock 9.

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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · Aug 10

Step 1: Watch all seasons of The Great British Sewing Bee
Step 2: Attempt to alter every garment in my wardrobe to make it custom fitted and special
Step 3: ?
Step 4: Wear barrel

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Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · Aug 10

Saying, “ohboyohboyohboyohboyohboy” the whole time during sex.

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · Aug 10

Beating someone to death with an olive branch as a bit

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · Jun 3

Correction: there are no butterflies in my stomach- I hardly ever even nibble on butterflies

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PieGuy @ilovepie84.bsky.social · Aug 10

Currently getting yelled at for playing Duck Duck Goose in this boring ass meeting

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PieGuy @ilovepie84.bsky.social · Aug 8

If you look at the shape of a vagina it makes sense that babies are born in the shape of a pancake”

-Flat Birthers

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Dak @dak.myatproto.social · Aug 4

Show dominance by clapping as the plane takes off.

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Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · Jul 30

I love that courtroom sketches are still a thing. Leaves open the possibility that a smurf or two was there

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Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · Jul 30

At a funeral saying deadass instead of amen

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TheSocioPhi @thesociophi.bsky.social · Jul 30

I ordered a cheese plate for dessert last night, which speaks directly to my outstanding and honourable quality of character, IMO.

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TheSocioPhi @thesociophi.bsky.social · Jul 30

You can never stand backward on stairs.

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Jenny and the Bats 🦇 🦇 @bets.bsky.social · Jul 29

It was probably a dog who invented the fact that they can’t eat raisins.

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BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · Nov 13

My boyfriend got kicked off the cyber truck waiting list for having sex.

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Granite Man @granitedhuine.bsky.social · Jul 31

Me: *makes a mental note*

Also me: *immediately forgets mental note*

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