Sam 🧿✨
@irlbirdbrain.bsky.social
Pinned
Sam 🧿✨
@irlbirdbrain.bsky.social
· Nov 30
🌀 you think I’m very pretty and want to shower me with praise… 🌀
Reposted by Sam 🧿✨
Reposted by Sam 🧿✨
a clown car exploded in front of the clown college and you're laughing?
January 1, 2025 at 9:45 PM
a clown car exploded in front of the clown college and you're laughing?
Reposted by Sam 🧿✨
Reposted by Sam 🧿✨
Wow I actually DID have this on my 2025 bingo card
January 1, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Wow I actually DID have this on my 2025 bingo card
Reposted by Sam 🧿✨
by popular demand they're adding an eighth deadly sin: churlishness
December 29, 2024 at 5:32 AM
by popular demand they're adding an eighth deadly sin: churlishness
Reposted by Sam 🧿✨
every new restaurant in every major city is either called Thistle+Thorn and thinks adding turmeric to brussel sprouts makes them worth $30 or is called Burger Bitch and has a neon sign in the window that says “im gonna fuck a hamburger”
December 29, 2024 at 5:04 PM
every new restaurant in every major city is either called Thistle+Thorn and thinks adding turmeric to brussel sprouts makes them worth $30 or is called Burger Bitch and has a neon sign in the window that says “im gonna fuck a hamburger”
Reposted by Sam 🧿✨
"shingles" is too cute a name for a terrible disease. fucked-up face-having purse dog-ass name. "this is Shingles, he's a toy pomradoodle; we feed him from an eyedropper every 23 minutes" etc. disease should be called something like "The Ferryman's Curse"
December 28, 2024 at 10:57 PM
"shingles" is too cute a name for a terrible disease. fucked-up face-having purse dog-ass name. "this is Shingles, he's a toy pomradoodle; we feed him from an eyedropper every 23 minutes" etc. disease should be called something like "The Ferryman's Curse"
Reposted by Sam 🧿✨
watching football with my husband and some of these announcers are kind of..... 🤔 why yall know so much about these boys? why do you know his height and weight? so you can buy him outfits? bc you love him?
December 29, 2024 at 6:43 PM
watching football with my husband and some of these announcers are kind of..... 🤔 why yall know so much about these boys? why do you know his height and weight? so you can buy him outfits? bc you love him?
Reposted by Sam 🧿✨
Reposted by Sam 🧿✨
Me: “I got the dog in me”
The dog:
The dog:
December 29, 2024 at 10:16 AM
Me: “I got the dog in me”
The dog:
The dog:
Reposted by Sam 🧿✨
all my plans for the rest of the year
December 27, 2024 at 11:07 PM
all my plans for the rest of the year
Reposted by Sam 🧿✨
that's not my understanding of it
December 29, 2024 at 7:40 AM
that's not my understanding of it
I present to you: my 2024 reject selfies that maybe did deserve to see the light of day? unclear, TBD, etc
December 26, 2024 at 3:31 PM
I present to you: my 2024 reject selfies that maybe did deserve to see the light of day? unclear, TBD, etc
the whole house still smells like latkes from yesterday but godddddd damn these slapped
December 26, 2024 at 1:57 PM
the whole house still smells like latkes from yesterday but godddddd damn these slapped
Reposted by Sam 🧿✨
and WHO is the other lady in the mirror and where does she go when i leave
Does anyone here have an answer?
How much should the wealthy pay? Should they be taxed out of existence and into poverty? What IS their fair share? After taxing all of the wealth away, what then? After the billionaires and millionaires are gone, who pays then?
How much should the wealthy pay? Should they be taxed out of existence and into poverty? What IS their fair share? After taxing all of the wealth away, what then? After the billionaires and millionaires are gone, who pays then?
December 22, 2024 at 12:59 AM
and WHO is the other lady in the mirror and where does she go when i leave
direct attack on maryland 😔
"what about old bay" old bay is for the elderly midatlantic set who are afraid of cayenne. that shit might have flown in the 19th century but it's 2024 old man
December 16, 2024 at 2:19 PM
direct attack on maryland 😔
Reposted by Sam 🧿✨
You, a slob: The Last Supper was hilarious because what kinda dudes all sit on the same side of the table lmao
Me, an intellectual: it was a hibachi restaurant
Me, an intellectual: it was a hibachi restaurant
December 16, 2024 at 1:08 AM
You, a slob: The Last Supper was hilarious because what kinda dudes all sit on the same side of the table lmao
Me, an intellectual: it was a hibachi restaurant
Me, an intellectual: it was a hibachi restaurant
made a chocolate covered toffee saltine thing and it was so good 🤤
December 16, 2024 at 2:14 PM
made a chocolate covered toffee saltine thing and it was so good 🤤
Reposted by Sam 🧿✨
one of the best things i ever did for myself was not falling for that "she doesn't know she's beautiful" shit that men love so much. bitch yes i do, because of the unceasing harassment i've received every day of my life since i was 16. you think i'm stupid
December 9, 2024 at 1:44 PM
one of the best things i ever did for myself was not falling for that "she doesn't know she's beautiful" shit that men love so much. bitch yes i do, because of the unceasing harassment i've received every day of my life since i was 16. you think i'm stupid
Reposted by Sam 🧿✨
post this on your profile today to make sure federal agents know that everything you posted today was just jokes
December 5, 2024 at 3:35 AM
post this on your profile today to make sure federal agents know that everything you posted today was just jokes
🌀 you think I’m very pretty and want to shower me with praise… 🌀
November 30, 2024 at 1:46 AM
🌀 you think I’m very pretty and want to shower me with praise… 🌀
Reposted by Sam 🧿✨
I appreciate your constructive criticism
November 27, 2024 at 3:44 PM
I appreciate your constructive criticism
Reposted by Sam 🧿✨
Binky was so clingy yesterday and wouldn’t stop licking my face
November 26, 2024 at 6:02 AM
Binky was so clingy yesterday and wouldn’t stop licking my face