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Kenny Goblins

@kennylogins.bsky.social

5.1K followers 100 following 7.5K posts

the answer to your question is someone thought it would be cheaper to do it that way

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Kenny Goblins @kennylogins.bsky.social · Jul 31

@QVT
Welcome To Gamestop Says Dad As He Turns My Nintendo
64 Off
9:18 PM • 2011-05-10

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Kenny Goblins @kennylogins.bsky.social · Nov 25

back in my day we didn’t do ‘mindfulness’. what we did do was flip a cigarette upside down in a fresh pack and treasure it as arbitrarily lucky, to be smoked in our darkest hour (before buying the next pack)

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[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 6h

Why yes I’ve gotten better at recognizing passive-aggressive questions

Conrad Hackett @conradhackett.bsky.social · 18h

Has anything great happened in your life because of social media?

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Lair Of The Gurt Sherm (Stoker 1911) @gurtsherm.bsky.social · 11h

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Tim Heidecker @timheidecker.bsky.social · 9h

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Lumin @screwy.bsky.social · Sep 3

That scene from 1989 Batman where the Joker pulls out a comically long revolver from his trousers, but the revolver is replaced with the aforementioned 32:9 handheld instead

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Feilen @feilen.purr.church · 1d

If you grew up male, but always had a different fashion sense and got along better with female family members, and had a non specific yearning in the back of your head, you really need to hear this: one week left to enroll in extended updates for Windows 10

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Kenny Goblins @kennylogins.bsky.social · Oct 2

when my sweet small child won’t get up for school on a cloudy october morning:

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L @banalplay.bsky.social · 13d

CHOTINER: Then you dropped it.

ME: Yeah. It was worth a lot of—

CHOTINER: The quarter.

ME: Right.

CHOTINER: The one you were flipping near a sewer grate. To impress, what was it? Dames looking for trouble?

ME: You know it was dames, man.

CHOTINER: They didn't consider that trouble?

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Kendra, regular version @kendrawcandraw.bsky.social · 13d

Please don't call it that

What You Will Need
• Experience: 5+ years as a video editor or producer-editor ("preditor").

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Roko's Brocialist @bombsfall.bsky.social · 13d

Engraving two bullets with "this bullet only lies" and "this bullet only tells the truth" to really stump the FBI

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jenny_tightpants🪑 @jtp.bsky.social · 14d

writing "self defense" on all my ammo just in case anyone ever asks me any questions that are already answered by the ammo

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Himbo Deluxe @verylarge.bsky.social · 13d

🎵My name's Franz Kafka and Im here to say: I woke up looking like a bug today🎵

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Kenny Goblins @kennylogins.bsky.social · 4h

let’s slop ‘em up [theme from twin peaks begins playing]

ceej @ceej.online · 4h

realizing with growing horror that I've become a messy eater. I was a one-napkin guy all through my twenties but as I approach forty I'm up to three on average. sometimes I try to trick myself by grabbing a paper towel but even that might not be enough to wipe the crumbs and sauces from my aged body

Kenny Goblins @kennylogins.bsky.social · 5h

great news! they fucken fixed it

Kenny Goblins @kennylogins.bsky.social · 9h

i have today noticed that it seems to be. i suggest they “fucken fix it”

sonboy megapractical @jimpjorps.bsky.social · 10h

is search broken? bsky not beating the lowtax 2.0 allegations

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Kenny Goblins @kennylogins.bsky.social · 9h

kim
@kimmymonte.bsky.social
*opens up your fridge and sees you have 2% milk* hey bro you need to charge your milk
August 26, 2025 at 9:49 PM

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Kenny Goblins @kennylogins.bsky.social · 9h

Cohen is a Ghost
@skullmandible.bsky.social
when I was like 16, I was texting with this girl (2004, nokia bricks, T9, basically morse code) and she was like "hey I have to go I'm hanging out with my boyfriend" and in an ego-saving panic I sent back "AUTO-REPLY: I am undergoing major surgery"
August 14, 2025 at 10:12 AM

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Kenny Goblins @kennylogins.bsky.social · 9h

BayBayFriend
@baybayfriend.bsky.social
I asked ChatGPT to call the cutie store and no one knew you lol. But then I went to the cutie store myself and everyone knew you. What ChatGPT actually did was call the same Qdoba location 15 times and make outrageous threats against the employees that fell just short of actionability
August 6, 2025 at 4:16 PM

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Kenny Goblins @kennylogins.bsky.social · 9h

lauren
@lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com
hello and thank you for signing my birthday eCard! Please use the checkbox below to clearly indicate the nature of our relationship, e.g., "we went to school together" or "mutual interest in soccer". do not write in additional possible connections. do not be ambiguous or coy about our connections.
September 9, 2025 at 2:18 PM

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Kenny Goblins @kennylogins.bsky.social · 9h

enriched corn meal
@guntoucher.bsky.social
[XENOMORPH ALIEN SKITTERS AT FULL SPEED DOWN CORRIDOR CEILING]

ME: (sighing) is this about sex or death

[XENOMORPH STOPS, UNSURE HOW TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION]
August 14, 2025 at 4:47 PM

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Kenny Goblins @kennylogins.bsky.social · 9h

i have today noticed that it seems to be. i suggest they “fucken fix it”

sonboy megapractical @jimpjorps.bsky.social · 10h

is search broken? bsky not beating the lowtax 2.0 allegations

Reposted by Kenny Goblins

Kenny Goblins @kennylogins.bsky.social · 1d

WHO ADJUSTED MY WORK CHAIR

𝔻𝕖𝕖𝕡 𝕋𝕙𝕠𝕥 @thatsgoodweb.bsky.social · 1d

H.R. Giger, Death in a Mousetrap

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Kenny Goblins @kennylogins.bsky.social · 1d

screenshot of gonzo as narrator of the muppets christmas carol (1992), being implied to have said the quoted post

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Kenny Goblins @kennylogins.bsky.social · 1d

this post has staying power, unlike certain people who used to be married to nicole kidman

good hyuck, babe! @markpopham.bsky.social · 2d

if you announce that you're breaking up with Nicole Kidman because she wanted too much sex you need to do it at a press conference where you're in a full body cast. just a little slit in the head area where a pair of wild, haunted eyes are staring out

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Kenny Goblins @kennylogins.bsky.social · 9h

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Kenny Goblins @kennylogins.bsky.social · 9h

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