koontzy
@koontzy.bsky.social
what is your spaghetti policy here?
Reposted by koontzy
Good job, Liz Lemley
February 11, 2026 at 2:32 PM
Good job, Liz Lemley
Valiant effort by the C/Korey's
February 10, 2026 at 6:45 PM
Valiant effort by the C/Korey's
Reposted by koontzy
A+ on the group project
February 10, 2026 at 3:37 PM
A+ on the group project
Reposted by koontzy
Olympic gold medalist, in their head, while competing in the sport they have won the gold medal in: oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fu-
new greatest underdog story in Olympic history: Germany's Phillipp Raimund, new Olympic gold medalist in ski jumping, WHO IS SCARED OF HEIGHTS
sports.beehiiv.com/p/olympics-d...
sports.beehiiv.com/p/olympics-d...
February 10, 2026 at 2:09 PM
Olympic gold medalist, in their head, while competing in the sport they have won the gold medal in: oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fu-
Reposted by koontzy
its funny to consider that this regime comprises some of the most twitter-addicted people the world has ever produced. i mean they have it so much worse than anyone you've ever known. it runs their lives. glinner levels. and it's 2026! they'e mostly performing for bots and foreign scammers
February 9, 2026 at 4:47 PM
its funny to consider that this regime comprises some of the most twitter-addicted people the world has ever produced. i mean they have it so much worse than anyone you've ever known. it runs their lives. glinner levels. and it's 2026! they'e mostly performing for bots and foreign scammers
Reposted by koontzy
gatorade is owned by pepsico but it's the coca cola of the sports drink market. powerade in turn is owned by coca cola, but it's unquestionably the pepsi of sports drinks. this should be plainly obvious to all
February 9, 2026 at 10:03 PM
gatorade is owned by pepsico but it's the coca cola of the sports drink market. powerade in turn is owned by coca cola, but it's unquestionably the pepsi of sports drinks. this should be plainly obvious to all
Reposted by koontzy
Reposted by koontzy
You don't show up to your official NFL Photo Shoot looking like the nerdy-but-secretly-hot neighbor on a 90s teen sitcom if you aren't about to win Super Bowl MVP
February 9, 2026 at 5:56 PM
You don't show up to your official NFL Photo Shoot looking like the nerdy-but-secretly-hot neighbor on a 90s teen sitcom if you aren't about to win Super Bowl MVP
Reposted by koontzy
Drew Lock, Super Bowl champion.
February 9, 2026 at 4:02 AM
Drew Lock, Super Bowl champion.
Reposted by koontzy
Yeah I’m looking for my dog (girlfriend who has a restraining order against me and she has a dog) and here’s the picture of the dog (she walks this dog and I can use it to figure out her schedule) thanks for sending all footage my way
February 9, 2026 at 4:13 AM
Yeah I’m looking for my dog (girlfriend who has a restraining order against me and she has a dog) and here’s the picture of the dog (she walks this dog and I can use it to figure out her schedule) thanks for sending all footage my way
Reposted by koontzy
Winter Olympics is a quadrennial reminder that the best sporting event I’ve ever watched was the 2010 men’s gold medal hockey game.
February 6, 2026 at 3:41 PM
Winter Olympics is a quadrennial reminder that the best sporting event I’ve ever watched was the 2010 men’s gold medal hockey game.
Reposted by koontzy
I get this, but here's where I'm at:
Trump & Vance are the worst of us. America is bigger than them, and they win if we let them define us.
Team USA is the best of us. It's filled with Americans MAGA hates—first-generation + immigrants, LGBTQ+ athletes, people of color—& I'm gonna root for them.
Trump & Vance are the worst of us. America is bigger than them, and they win if we let them define us.
Team USA is the best of us. It's filled with Americans MAGA hates—first-generation + immigrants, LGBTQ+ athletes, people of color—& I'm gonna root for them.
I really really want these athletes to have a great experience, be competitive and perhaps win a gold medal, but, honestly, the thought of hearing "USA!USA!USA!" during their games kinda makes me cringe. If we were any other country the IOC would ask us to march under the olympic flag.
February 5, 2026 at 5:09 PM
I get this, but here's where I'm at:
Trump & Vance are the worst of us. America is bigger than them, and they win if we let them define us.
Team USA is the best of us. It's filled with Americans MAGA hates—first-generation + immigrants, LGBTQ+ athletes, people of color—& I'm gonna root for them.
Trump & Vance are the worst of us. America is bigger than them, and they win if we let them define us.
Team USA is the best of us. It's filled with Americans MAGA hates—first-generation + immigrants, LGBTQ+ athletes, people of color—& I'm gonna root for them.
Reposted by koontzy
There are three certainties in life: death, taxes, and this
![Me 98% of the time: America is trash
Me during the Olympics: [picture of a Black man wearing an American flag bandana, jacket, and shirt while looking at the camera with a stern look]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:szt5gohiatgtykukx627lh7w/bafkreifci2kkmiduw2ockjbsu5kc5wkdkxybr74ab7wsdbdsy52zquy3ue@jpeg)
February 5, 2026 at 3:37 PM
There are three certainties in life: death, taxes, and this
Reposted by koontzy
Up early for First Take and
February 5, 2026 at 3:16 PM
Up early for First Take and
Good morning to the US Women's Hockey team, and to them only cause I don't trust the men's team to get it done
February 5, 2026 at 2:47 PM
Good morning to the US Women's Hockey team, and to them only cause I don't trust the men's team to get it done
Reposted by koontzy
A+ ad placement on ESPN’s trade tracker
February 4, 2026 at 9:50 PM
A+ ad placement on ESPN’s trade tracker
Reposted by koontzy
These people reverse-engineer new racist theories for this when a) there are some obvious ones already on the table and b) it would also just be useful to admit that the social and financial value prop on paying $200,000 to go to a small liberal arts college somewhere cold and dismal is upside down
We only want the good immigrants who study hard and don't commit crimes, unless they try to take little Brayleigh's (28 ACT, 1350 SAT) God-given slot at an Ivy away by being smarter, in which case Korematsu didn't go far enough
February 4, 2026 at 1:29 PM
These people reverse-engineer new racist theories for this when a) there are some obvious ones already on the table and b) it would also just be useful to admit that the social and financial value prop on paying $200,000 to go to a small liberal arts college somewhere cold and dismal is upside down
Reposted by koontzy
sports coverage is not about box scores anymore. it's about power and politics and corruption and sovereign wealth and real estate and the use of taxpayer money and the most publicized labor disputes in the country and yes, sometimes about ball go in hoop
WaPo's Matt Murray told staff the paper is shuttering sports, moving remaining staff to features, shrinking foreign coverage, restructuring metro, closing books coverage, suspending Post Reports podcast
“Whole company now waiting for a live or die email” one staffer said
More in tonight’s Status
“Whole company now waiting for a live or die email” one staffer said
More in tonight’s Status
February 4, 2026 at 2:03 PM
sports coverage is not about box scores anymore. it's about power and politics and corruption and sovereign wealth and real estate and the use of taxpayer money and the most publicized labor disputes in the country and yes, sometimes about ball go in hoop
Reposted by koontzy
we deserve to know which NFC defensive king did the Good Take.
February 4, 2026 at 3:19 AM
we deserve to know which NFC defensive king did the Good Take.
Yeah man if this shit ain't the final straw, then I don't know what else could be
January 30, 2026 at 8:16 PM
Yeah man if this shit ain't the final straw, then I don't know what else could be
Reposted by koontzy
TO: World’s Biggest Pedophile
FROM: Elon Musk
SUBJECT: RE: Pedophile party on your pedophile island
Any other famous pedophiles going to be there? Looking forward to doing a bunch of pedophile stuff btw.
FROM: Elon Musk
SUBJECT: RE: Pedophile party on your pedophile island
Any other famous pedophiles going to be there? Looking forward to doing a bunch of pedophile stuff btw.
OK, so Musk was planning to go to Epstein's island, but it's not like he went there with the intent to go to a wild party or something, it was probably just some business. Excuse me, an email just came in.
*Reads:* "What day/night will be the wildest party on your island?"
*Reads:* "What day/night will be the wildest party on your island?"
January 30, 2026 at 7:44 PM
TO: World’s Biggest Pedophile
FROM: Elon Musk
SUBJECT: RE: Pedophile party on your pedophile island
Any other famous pedophiles going to be there? Looking forward to doing a bunch of pedophile stuff btw.
FROM: Elon Musk
SUBJECT: RE: Pedophile party on your pedophile island
Any other famous pedophiles going to be there? Looking forward to doing a bunch of pedophile stuff btw.
Reposted by koontzy
"too handsome," rules judge
Luigi Mangione will not face the death penalty for allegedly killing UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson, judge rules. https://cnn.it/4kiVUAP
January 30, 2026 at 3:28 PM
"too handsome," rules judge
Reposted by koontzy
The pope when he sees me walking into the Vatican:
SINNER. oh my god.
January 30, 2026 at 2:37 PM
The pope when he sees me walking into the Vatican:
Why are the St Louis Blues dressed like skyline chili right now?
January 30, 2026 at 3:46 AM
Why are the St Louis Blues dressed like skyline chili right now?
wtfffff this man is yoked
@edsbs.bsky.social Chris Fowler is back to kicking all the ass
January 29, 2026 at 10:42 PM
wtfffff this man is yoked