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Lock Wilford

@lockwilford.com

6.8K followers 2.6K following 8K posts

If you are looking for the other Lock Wilford you didn't find him. My top skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6sn5ipsdnbalrtkjgpjkr3u7/feed/aaafm23lyrjky My art: lockwilford.com

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Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · May 30

[Sex Shop]

Me: *holding 37 dildos*

Shopkeeper: may I help you?

Me: where are the fitting rooms?

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Reposted by Lock Wilford

𝗱𝗿𝗼𝗷𝗼🪾🍂 @apexamigo.bsky.social · 2h

1st time sexist: shouldnt
you be... shopping?? for
makeup? in the kitchen??

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 2h

My son asked me to watch a horror movie with him and I said “of course” and then he put on La La Land and laughed while I cryperventilated

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Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 2h

Arthur Bach for president, we've had worse!

Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 2h

Who is your least favorite Ninja Turtle and why is it Donatello?

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Bob Cobb @burnthair.bsky.social · 2h

You fucking piece of shit.
-me talking to a spoon I dropped

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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 2h

bidet is the way

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Goose @phatcussy.bsky.social · 2h

Shaggy: like, Scoob, i don't think those were portobello mushrooms!

Scoob: ጎ ልጮ ፕⶴቹ ልረየⶴል ልክጋ ፕⶴቹ ዐጮቹፏል

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lumberjack wharfie @lumberjackwharfie.bsky.social · 3h

some of u pump out thoughts on an Elite level

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Phantom Deeks 🫶 @deeks549.bsky.social · 3h

If you have nothing nice to say get ya a bsky account

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Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 3h

It's really hot, just burned my tongue

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Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 3h

It's out of the oven

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Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 3h

Threw together a cheesy rice, ham, and broccoli casserole for dinner tonight

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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 4h

Kendrick should release another song about Drake just for the fuck of it.

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 4h

if you don’t love me at my hooba you don’t deserve me at my stank

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🦇 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 4h

[antifa meeting]

me: ok part one of the plan, we get nic cage to steal the constitution

them: *murmuring*

me: part two of the plan, profit

them: *cheers*

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Reposted by Lock Wilford

actually its fens monster @cringeunworthy.bsky.social · 4h

Gordon Ramsay looking down and saying "delicious, finally some good fucking news"

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Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 10h

President (who should be in jail) wants law-abiding governor and mayor thrown in jail.

See it's that fucking easy

Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 10h

Mike Johnson: *watching imagery of starvation, death, and all other atrocities*, *cums*

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Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 10h

And morale, though it's an appropriate typo in this instance

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 11h

My ancestors were good Danes.

No, they were GREAT Danes.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 11h

None of the guys in this safety orientation are interested in watching my jerk off video.

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Dr. Hotlink @shmemistry.bsky.social · 11h

Pronouncing female like tamale from now on

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Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 11h

The beatings will continue until moral increases

Politico @politico.com · 11h

Mike Johnson is hammering Senate Dems with the shutdown impacts in their states.

The speaker rattled off headlines from around the country to shame Democrats into reopening the government.

Johnson hammers Senate Dems with shutdown impacts in their states

The speaker rattled off headlines from around the country to shame Democrats into reopening the government.

www.politico.com

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Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 1d

Thank you, the eye drops the doctor prescribed are making a difference